Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
heck yeah, women can be abusers, mental or physical; but men dare not talk about it for fear of being called a wimp or whatever reasons... lately though men have been coming forward and telling their story and it's about time, there's no excuse for it happening!
I started a thread a few days ago about how women being physically violent towards men is portrayed as acceptable in television and movies. Often even cheered. Turned into a rather interesting discussion.
I knew a neighbor where I used to live that had an abusive wife.
One night she smashed him in the face with a pan, really damaged his nose and then started scratching him with nails. He grabbed her wrists to stop her from scratching him. She called the cops and played victim with two little bruises on her wrists. He went to jail with a broken nose, she didn't get arrested.
only a few weeks after i started seeing my ex wife, she was round at my parents house, so after doing the courtesy visit to the folks, we departed to the bedroom to listen to music.
after a while, nature called, so, off i went.
when i came back, she was sitting on the bed with a photo in her hand.
i thought it was a little odd, then, as it turned out, she'd been through my "box of doom" where i keep all my mementoes, and found a photo of my finnish penfriend, who i'd been writing to for 3 years.
she refused to believe it wasn't a girlfriend, and started off on a huge rant, which eventually wound up with her scratching her nails from elbow to wrist on both my arms, and then as i tried to stop her, she started clawing at my face, drawing her nails twice down one cheek.
i managed to restrain her,and stop her, then i guess i was in shock. the first thing i should've done was kick her ass right out of the door, but, for some reason, i wound up sitting listening to her apologies, and sob stories, and forgave her !!
and so it began !!
i guess you just want to trust people, maybe you don't want to see how horrible they are, so you make excuses for them.
the interesting part was explaining to my parents how the cuts happened, i gave some story about how i'd been playing with the dog, and she'd jumped up and caught me !!
she actually cut me deep enough to leave permanent scarring on my face, sometimes i can see it if the light's right, sometimes i can see it on my arms if i get a deep enough suntan.
those are a reminder to me not to make that mistake again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault
I knew a neighbor where I used to live that had an abusive wife.
One night she smashed him in the face with a pan, really damaged his nose and then started scratching him with nails. He grabbed her wrists to stop her from scratching him. She called the cops and played victim with two little bruises on her wrists. He went to jail with a broken nose, she didn't get arrested.
yeah.......what you just said!!!!!!!!!!! Good grief..... people...men AND women need to keep their dang hands to themselves. Do unto others for crying out loud. Would I hit my hubby? Uh...why? What would that accomplish!? Would he hit me? Uh....NOT....he wants to live! LOL!! No....just kidding. I wouldn't have married a SECOND control freak. I was married at right before 17 y.o., divorced at 18 for that very reason. Okay....duh, on the married at 16, but I was obviously young and ignorant enough to have missed the signs. I looked very carefully for them before making the leap that second time....so in a sense, I learned quite early? LOL
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,068 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb
.. grew up fighting, so she could be physically imposing/intimidating when she needed to be.
It was real. It was ugly. It happens. I don't think it's nearly as widespread as male on female violence because men are just more violent (physically) then women in general, but it's out there. If you see a case where you suspect a man is being abused by his wife or girlfriend, you should probably talk to him about it. Something is probably going on there.
It *definitely* does happen. Largely because of the stereotype that men are generally bigger / taller/stronger than women, though this is not always the case. Men get sick, can be thinner, shorter, etc. Though women mainly engage in verbal/mental abuse. The trouble is that largely society forgets that abuse is psychological mainly in nature and cops will (at least sometimes) laugh and not take seriously at charges filed by a man. This is devastating since social mores already tell us that men cannot be abused by women unless he is weak, and you should never touch a woman so he has no recourse, and this adds to his shame.
I had a friend once with an abusive, crazy ex who was bigger than him and stronger. He was thin and diabetic. According to him, she threatened him with a knife and then punched him. Although he ended up with bruises, when the cops came, they took him down for questioning, laughed it off and did nothing to her. (yeah shout-out to cops in Bay Ridge.) I knew this guy and he was a mixed-up sort, from a difficult background (homeless/single mother was bipolar) but really sweet and harmless.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,068 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by DBCC
Lived in a relationship like this for the last 10 years of my 25 year marriage. I put up with it because I had my last daughter that was going to safely finish school and start university before I asked for a divorce. To protect the child from her own mother.
The mother was bi-Polar. Verbally and physically aggressive. she knew I would never raise my hand to her - due to my moral beliefs, - and took advantage of that. I had occasion to remove from her hands knives/hammers/walking sticks ( I had a collection of them) and was frequently attacked in my sleep. Took great interest in humiliating me in public, using insults and throwing things (supermarket / bookstores / and diverse places) or, during a conversation with friends, would spit in my face.
Tried to launch herself off a fourth floor balcony because her eldest daughter (21 and graduated from university) disagreed with her about living under the same roof after graduation.
Refused therapy, medication, or consulting with the local pastor.
Needless to say, her three daughters have no more communication with her after the divorce, and one of my girls has a restraining order against her to keep this woman away from her grandchildren for fear of violence.
It does exist. Some people don't talk about it to protect their children. I did not talk until after the divorce and my kids were safe.
gosh these stories are so terrible. How do you feel about the intersection of abuse and mental illness? Have you ever wondered about what can be done/changed in society- besides raising awareness- to rectify the line between having someone involuntarily committed and care when they refuse it?
There's a book about this subject, I believe it's called "24 Hours", about a woman's daughter diagnosed with some mental illness who is absolute hell to live with, but couldn't survive on her own without major risky behavior, and yet never qualified as a danger to herself as others so no mental facility could take her against her will.
My conviction is that there's too fine a line in society in dealing forcefully with mental illness- more should be done to force those who act *semi*dangerously or at least highly disruptively to have help. I sometimes think we have too many 'rights' in this society- which begin to impose on others. Just my opinion on mental illness- something which seems to cause the longstanding majority of society's ills: cases of abuse, homelessness, extreme poverty, hunger, addiction and crime.
female assaultive behavior is like pedaphilia. we do not like to admit it happens.
we look at women as the less aggressive sex. a terrible mistake. watch lions, its the females that do all the hunting and killing. btw domestic violence is 50/50.
Mystepmother is a crazy manipulative abusive wench! I've asked my father over and over why he won't stand up to her and make her stop abusing him. He justs explains away her behavior as grief. FIVE FREAKIN YEARS?? I told him to put her out before she shoots him in his sleep but he won't listen. The irony of course is that he was abusive to his first wife (my mom) causing their divorce.
I'm not sure if the abuser can be a woman. Never heard of this before but I have witnessed it myself two times.
Event 1: When I was a kid, I once caught my uncle with a bloody nose. He told everyone he got into an angry brawl at a club. I know my uncle isn't that type of person that goes clubbing and never saw him drunk. Could have sworn he was at home and he doesn't drink more than two glasses so his story didn't make sense at all. I was only 8 then, didn't suspected anything until years later.
Event 2: I was now spending my summer vacation with my aunt and uncle. This is before entering my senior year of high school. Anyways as I got home after a night's hang-out with my friends, there was an argument between them. I don't know what the argument was about but it was then I saw my aunt pushing my uncle against the screen door. I never said anything to anyone as I was thinking maybe it's just a regular argument couples have.
They have been married for almost 55 years now. I'm not sure if it's still happening. If anyone were to meet them, they appear to be the perfect couple. My aunt doesn't look like the type of person who's violent. I'm now convince she was the one that gave him that bloody nose that day and he covered up for her. I'm still having a hard time imagining my aunt would do that. Not too sure if that's even possible, that it's the woman being physical abusive while the husband keeps quiet about it. My uncle never told anyone and still doesn't. I'm starting to wonder if this always happened when they were married and if it continues or has stopped. How many more are out there or is my uncle the only single case?
It happens more than people think. Mostly due to a woman being able to strike most men and they won't strike back. They know this and use it to their advantage. It must make them feel good to hit a limp noodle or punching bag that doesn't hit back. If the guy really wanted to most could knock the abusive woman flat on her a**. Maybe even KO'd with one punch. The best thing to do is to get out of that situation ASAP before someone really get hurts. A slap, ah so what, but a close fist punch is pushing their limit. Get outta there while the getting is good. They know what they are doing most of the time and only getting away with it because they have a good man. In a last resort situation where a lethal weapon is used and you can't avoid it self defense takes over and the gloves are off. That chick on Die Hard 4 found out Bruce didn't like her chops and kicks real quick. He was getting the s*** kicked out of him until he went old school alley brawler on her. Hey, most of us will try to retreat but when we can't anything can happen!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Good grief..... people...men AND women need to keep their dang hands to themselves. Do unto others for crying out loud. Would I hit my hubby? Uh...why? What would that accomplish!? Would he hit me? Uh....NOT....he wants to live! LOL!! No....just kidding. I wouldn't have married a SECOND control freak. I was married at right before 17 y.o., divorced at 18 for that very reason. Okay....duh, on the married at 16, but I was obviously young and ignorant enough to have missed the signs. I looked very carefully for them before making the leap that second time....so in a sense, I learned quite early? LOL
