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American male culture is similar. There is a lot of rudeness, coldness, a fear of showing emotions, and materialism.
Like I said, I am a straight man who dates women so I focused on women here.
American women in particular have some traits that many men find unattractive though. And when most American guys start to travel the world they cannot believe how much better the dating scene is just about everywhere else.
It's just the truth. Many American women will act like beasts and then say that it's because they are "strong and independent".
They are confusing callousness with independance, and they are confusing a total lack of femininity with strength.
Just trying to clarify....you are meaning that a woman believes that if she doesn't act feminine, she believes she is conveying strength, right?
Can you give an example of how a woman could act with a strength that is also feminine? Or is it something that cannot be done at the same time, so a woman needs to show both her feminine side and her strong side to get that across?
Can you give an example by what is "beast-like" behavior?
I am honestly curious, because I do believe I am a strong and independent women. I am strong in body, strong in heart, and am happy with who I am and what I am doing. I love my relationship, but don't need it to survive, so I feel independent. Yet, I also love the times that I can be feminine, and I definitely love being the girl in my relationship. I might be the alpha, but I am still the girl. I do not see any part of me as beast-like. Just because the job I have tends to be filled more by men, and many of my interests are more male-oriented, does that make me beast-like?
Not trying to start an argument about *me*, but I am an American women, so I see no better way to get clarification
I have to disagree with the OP. I think the reason you are so taken with Asian or foreign women is because they see you as something different and they are quenching their curiosity or preference for someone who is not Asian. I'm sure there are just as many Asian women over there who would not give you the time of day and strike you as rude or cold. The ones who could care less about your nationality are the ones who you'd probably find very similar to the American women who you haven't hit it off with. I've lived overseas before and most of the women who prefered to date American men had a certain "groupie" quality/mentality about them.
I mentioned this thread to my husband (who happens to spend a bit of time in Asia) to get his point of view and he pretty much stated what Coolhand68 posted.
A male who doesn't do well in our society (both financially and socially) can live like a king in Asia and other countries. There is no shortage of women in Asia looking for a financially stable husband and generally westerners overseas are just that.
I also usually date the local Asian women around here too. I find them to be much more appealing than American women. They are much more feminine, more warm and caring, more comfortable to be around, and in general they are just more enjoyable to spend time with. They are much more reliable and dependable as friends, much more of a stable and solid friendship can be had with them. They will usually be your true friend without being a totally selfish flake.
That lady was very lucky you weren't interested in her, you sound like a typical whiny, insecure, misogynist American male.
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She was judging me the whole time.
How ironic, since that's exactly what you did to her, and the entire female race, on your date. Looks like she read you like a book and judged rightly that you weren't worth a second look.
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Originally Posted by Andreams
Since I don't date women (straight lady and all), I find it interesting that so many men view American women as asking about your status, job, etc, only to see how you can stack up. I am not in the dating game anymore, but whenever I asked about a man's job, it was to see....drum roll please.....what he does with most of his days.
Agreed. This is a very basic question in US dating culture that just gets the ball rolling in the getting-to-know-you phase. If the OP is extremely defensive about such a harmless questions one wonders what his ulterior motives are.
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Originally Posted by Coolhand68
I have to disagree with the OP. I think the reason you are so taken with Asian or foreign women is because they see you as something different and they are quenching their curiosity or preference for someone who is not Asian. I'm sure there are just as many Asian women over there who would not give you the time of day and strike you as rude or cold. The ones who could care less about your nationality are the ones who you'd probably find very similar to the American women who you haven't hit it off with. I've lived overseas before and most of the women who prefered to date American men had a certain "groupie" quality/mentality about them.
This is exactly right. But this will hurt the OP's feelings terribly.
The women, and also the men usually, are much more friendly, warm, approachable, and trustworthy.
Anytime I see someone making claims of how much better it is on the otherside, I suspect they remained in a comfort zone overseas with people who just liked Americans. I've seen the best and worst of both worlds. Ask some Russian women how warm, friendly, and approachable many Russian men are, or go to places like Ecuador and Peru and see how much those men down there like the idea of you sweeping their women off their feet because you are millionaire in their eyes. While I've met some nice men and women in places like Korea, Okinawa, Ecuador, and the Middle East, as well as Europe, I can tell you there were just as many if not more, ordinary people who were no friendlier or warmer than your average American.
I've spent time in South America, and trust me, the women there are no different from the women here when they want something from you. You living in a place like Columbia or Brazil with your $100K salary and the promise of a life back in the states is the equivalent of pro athletes who are swarmed by beautiful and very accomodating women at nighclubs around the country. In the eyes of these women in under-developed countries, an American man making $60K or better per year is a millionaire, of course they're going to be warm and friendly. They want to score the big prize. Next time you are out and about, take notice of the majority of women who work legitimate jobs and aren't struggling financially, and who aren't quite taken by your status as an American.
One great trait about Americans is that when it comes to business we get the job done. We do deals and quickly. None of the tea breaks like in britain, the yes means no and no means yes or any other long lazy behaviors. Culturally we are a can do people.
This is TOTAL BS.
This country has so much potential to solve all of its problems and we waste it.
I can give countless examples.
But anyone who drinks the koolaid from the above poster has been reading way too much propaganda.
Don't get me wrong, I love the States, it's a great country for all of its faults, and I am a US citizen - but get real.
By the way, doing deals quickly has often gotten us into a LOT of trouble. I wouldn't be bragging about it.
"Britain and other lazy behaviors?" - totally inappropriate comment.
I'll agree with the poster on one item - we are a "can do" people, as we "can" mess up a lot of things, and we "can" screw up society, and we "can" mess up our potential. Not saying other countries are better, but we are humans full of faults. The US is no better than a long list of countries where I have lived and done business.
In the end that equals a "cannot" do society - not can do.
If it was racist, I sincerely apologize. But bitter? No. I just said it like it is --- and I believe several other people here said the same thing in different words.
I think you took it that way because, after all, I'm one of those American women you have such trouble with.
I think you should stay in Asia where, as someone said, where the women just love those westerners and all the money they make. There truly is someone for everyone.
I have been living overseas for a while now. Aside from a brief return to the US earlier this year, i've been overseas for a few years.
I am living in Asia. There are not many westerners or Americans at all around here. Percentage-wise, this area must be about 0.01% westerners. I almost never speak face to face with other westerners. I occasionally see one on the street, but that's about it.
I do not have any western friends. All of my friends out here speak English as their second language. They are all Asians and a couple Russians I know.
I also usually date the local Asian women around here too. I find them to be much more appealing than American women. They are much more feminine, more warm and caring, more comfortable to be around, and in general they are just more enjoyable to spend time with. They are much more reliable and dependable as friends, much more of a stable and solid friendship can be had with them. They will usually be your true friend without being a totally selfish flake.
I decided to try dating an American woman again though, so I set up a date over the internet. She was some woman who just moved out here from the midwest.
I met her and went on the date, and it reminded me all over again of why I do not really like American women.
She was judging me the whole time. Asking me questions about my life and my goals. Not because she was really interested in me, but moreso because she was trying to size me up and find out what my status is to her.
Even though I am making good money and I am happy with life and I enjoy life. She kept acting like I should be doing more with myself, and this was our first date! It felt halfway like a date and halfway like a job interview. A normal vibe when hanging out with American women.....
Her entire demeanor was so serious. I was trying to smile and be warm and just be real with her. But she had her guard up the whole time and wouldn't just trust me and loosen up. It was like a cold, invisible wall was between us. Another typical trait of American women....
Last but not least. She was a BIG woman. Another typical trait of American women....
When the date ended, I felt like I had just gotten done doing business at the bank, or like I just had a job interview, or maybe like I just had a meeting at work.... it felt like a professional meeting. It did not feel like a warm and real connection with another human being. Which is what a date should be.
The thing that struck me the most was that this woman did not have very much going for her at all. Yet she was judging ME so hard. Why do American women do this so often? They expect the man they are with to be absolutely perfect, even if they are a mess.
I think I will go back to being the only North American in my world. And i'm just fine with that. I'll hang out with some Americans as friends if the opportunity comes up. Hanging out with other American guys is cool. But dating American women is usually a losing bet.
The local Asian women here are SOOOOOO much more warm, personable, understanding and HUMAN. They make me feel the love, instead of the uptight icyness. They are not the masculine machine-like beasts that American women these days have become.
It's not just Asian women though. It was the same story in the other continents i've visited. The women are just more warm, more fun, and more cool.
Thank you very much.
The very fact that there are not many American women in your neck of the woods is precisely why you cannot generalize.
Not all American women are like this.
Since you don't hang out with American women on a daily basis, you wouldn't know.
Many are like you say, but many are not.
I can give so many examples of American women who are not treating a date like a business deal.
But they are not like the women you see regularly. Just admit that you are not attracted and move on. (I guess that's one of your points).
Originally Posted by TheCaliforniaBear She was judging me the whole time.
I think I will go back to being the only North American in my world. "
And I think the same was true of you -- and you must have been taking notes at the dinner table to have documented it so thoroughly. But again, stay there where you are one of the only Westerners and I think you will be happy and have plenty of women to choose from...no need to come back to the States at all.
Part of it comes down to the role of media and how it has created a fantasy world 99.99% of people don't live in.
By and large the rural town I live in the women are hefty and unattractive. Too many Oreos and Oprah. They smoke, drink, have tattoos, are pre diabetic at 25, don't exercise, don't get an education, etc. I can probably think of 2-3 women in town above a 5 on the 1-10 ratio here in town. The rest are dogs.
A lot of them are cute when they graduate high school at 18 but by the time they hit 20, it's like someone pulled the pin on one of those self inflated life rafts.
However if you talk to them they really do believe eligible men should be zooming around in a Ferrari with six pack abs, wads of cash and a flashy house. Even when they are in current relationships they still have a belief that is out there waiting for them.
These are not women... these are girls who are barely out of teenage years, relatively speaking. A girl at 21 was just 15, 6 years before that! (wow, math!)
A woman who is 35 was 29. Get it?
Alot of girls at 21-25 still think that Prince Charming/Superman exists. It doesn't matter if they've had a great relationship with their father or an awful one.
When a girl is 10, she does well in school, by the time she is 21, she realizes she can use her body and attractiveness to get a lot more than if she uses her brains. So many women get into that, but really they change over the years, as many will lose that attraction mystique quite early, and then they've got problems.
Maybe instead of worrying about that they want you to have luxury car and house and a large bank account, and instead worry if they're mature enough to your satisfaction.
Oh that's right - one is not thinking with one's head in the skull, one is using that other head for analysis.
"She won't sleep with me...waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!...She must be a Golddigger!!!!!"
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