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This is my honest opinion... you are too young to be raising someone else's kiddos. I will most likely make a lot of peeps made saying that, but oh well. Poster is just a kid really and too young for all this. YES, he knew about this kids before hand. AND now he knows it's not what he really wants. I say cut ya loses and move on. If you are already feeling this way now, it won't get any better as time goes by. Good luck.
This is my honest opinion... you are too young to be raising someone else's kiddos. I will most likely make a lot of peeps made saying that, but oh well. Poster is just a kid really and too young for all this. YES, he knew about this kids before hand. AND now he knows it's not what he really wants. I say cut ya loses and move on. If you are already feeling this way now, it won't get any better as time goes by. Good luck.
These kinds of situations are why I don't usually think anyone under 28 should get married - he wasn't ready for the responsibility or committment. Now that he's got a severe case of "buyers remorse" two kids are going to feel abandoned
These kinds of situations are why I don't usually think anyone under 28 should get married - he wasn't ready for the responsibility or committment. Now that he's got a severe case of "buyers remorse" two kids are going to feel abandoned
Yep, and not only that, but at least when she lived alone she qualified for endless government assistance.
Yep, and not only that, but at least when she lived alone she qualified for endless government assistance.
Before I reply to any of the other messages on the thread, if anything did happen and I were to leave, she would be able to once again qualify for government assistance.
I also realize that there would be an emotional impact on the kids, but this is just one of many reasons why I am trying to work through our issues now as opposed to later on when it would be even more difficult on them.
I'd love to be able to figure out what would make everyone happy in this situation (including them, and me)..
I see there's a lot of criticism here, and I just want to offer you some fair advice. I am of similar age with a 3 year old child, and yes at times I do think about how good it would be to travel alone see the world , go out all the time... but at the end of the day I still love my child more than anything else. You agreed to raise these kids with your wife and that's a fact. You made a promise as a man and I think this is very important. However, I don't think that you should feel guilty at all about wanting all those other things. You are young, and we are humans after all, we are bound to think about what we cannot have. I think now that you are in this situation, and especially if you think your wife is the one, you should focus on the family but also establish date nights to bond with your wife. I understand that all of this might be very difficult for you because you are young and also because these are not your kids but if you truly love her, you need to work on it, because as cliche as it sounds, real love doesn't happen very often! good luck!
In short..you're screwed. Your life as YOU wanted is over. Finished. Done. Either arrange with your wife to schedule a babysitter say, once a week, or have fun being a sugar-daddy that wears a wedding ring.
Either way, you still get the short end of the stick.
When men get into their thirties, have completed their education and have put a lot of effort into getting a career underway, a large proportion of the relationship options that they have is women with children. Most of the other options are little better. Its no wonder that more and more, men over 30 are just saying "no way".
In his case, he was too young and inexperienced to make a well considered choice. He's made his bed and must either sleep in it or take an expensive bath and get out.
To be honest, your situation isn't any different than anyone else who got married and had kids at a young age.
I'm 23, and have a 1 year old boy. 2 years ago I had no idea what I was in for. Hell, when my wife was in the hospital giving birth, I STILL had no idea what I was in for. Do I think about where I'd be today if I'd stayed single? Of course I do. If I could go back, would I change it? Not a chance. Sure it could be fun, but I've learned more and grown more over the last year than the rest of my life combined.
If my advice were worth anything, I'd tell you to stick with it. I guarantee those kids will teach you more about yourself than you'd think possible. Hell, you might even decide someday that you enjoy the modest family life.
When men get into their thirties, have completed their education and have put a lot of effort into getting a career underway, a large proportion of the relationship options that they have is women with children. Most of the other options are little better. Its no wonder that more and more, men over 30 are just saying "no way".
In his case, he was too young and inexperienced to make a well considered choice. He's made his bed and must either sleep in it or take an expensive bath and get out.
Spot on. This reminds me of the "Baby Daddies" thread. Some men want to "rescue" women like in this instance and then have a nasty reality check when its too late. What a shame.
To be honest, your situation isn't any different than anyone else who got married and had kids at a young age.
I'm 23, and have a 1 year old boy. 2 years ago I had no idea what I was in for. Hell, when my wife was in the hospital giving birth, I STILL had no idea what I was in for. Do I think about where I'd be today if I'd stayed single? Of course I do. If I could go back, would I change it? Not a chance. Sure it could be fun, but I've learned more and grown more over the last year than the rest of my life combined.
If my advice were worth anything, I'd tell you to stick with it. I guarantee those kids will teach you more about yourself than you'd think possible. Hell, you might even decide someday that you enjoy the modest family life.
I think this advise goes to anyone with small children that has ever wondered, "good lord what have I gotten myself in to". After nearly 4 years of hardly a full nights sleep (I am 35 btw, not 23) I can tell you I have been there, and they are both my own. So OP, what you are feeling is not unique, but you have to decide if it's worth it to work through it with "the one" or walk away. Just take a look around the forum at all the age 30+ individuals that are either searching for love or stuck in unhappy marriages looking for an escape in the pages of city-data.
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After nearly 4 years of hardly a full nights sleep (I am 35 btw, not 23) I can tell you I have been there, and they are both my own. So OP, what you are feeling is not unique, but you have to decide if it's worth it to work through it with "the one" or walk away. Just take a look around the forum at all the age 30+ individuals that are either searching for love or stuck in unhappy marriages looking for an escape in the pages of city-data.
