Still date-less (how to, women, family, advice)

[Mygalomorph]

I posted a couple of months ago- I'm a 46 yr old male and have never been on a date or had sex. Someone suggested that I need to be more "confident"- I really don't know what that means. I mean, I feel like I'm invisible.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by Mygalomorph

I posted a couple of months ago- I'm a 46 yr old male and have never been on a date or had sex. Someone suggested that I need to be more "confident"- I really don't know what that means. I mean, I feel like I'm invisible.

What do you do for a living? The reason I ask is because I was wondering if there are women at your employment?

[findinghope]

without sounding like i a m judging you in any way, ( i am not at all) but i was wondering what happened that made you wait so long? is it just that time got away from you, or fear etc?

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by Mygalomorph

Someone suggested that I need to be more "confident"- I really don't know what that means. I mean, I feel like I'm invisible.

That may because you do not have any confidence in yourself, is why you feel invisible.
You don`t know what confidence means? Not being scared of anything!
It means you hold your head up high, be proud of who you are, and work with what ya` got!

[the minx]

Do you have any close friends or siblings?

I had a good friend who is 30 and never had a date or sex. She asked me point blank one day why she couldn't find anyone. I told her honestly - very gently - what I thought she was doing to scare guys off. She wasn't even aware of her behavior.

If you can find someone to help you in that way it may shed some light on your situation.

[virgode]

Originally Posted by [I

Mygalomorph;[/i]11628174]I posted a couple of months ago- I'm a 46 yr old male and have never been on a date or had sex. Someone suggested that I need to be more "confident"- I really don't know what that means. I mean, I feel like I'm invisible.

Anyone who can come upon the screen name "Mygalomorph" understands the meaning of the word confident, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Main Entry: 1con·fi·dence
Pronunciation: \ˈkän-fə-dən(t)s, -ˌden(t)s\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 a : a feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances <had perfect confidence in her ability to succeed> <met the risk with brash confidence> b : faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way <have confidence in a leader>
2 : the quality or state of being certain : certitude <they had every confidence of success>
3 a : a relation of trust or intimacy <took his friend into his confidence> b : reliance on another's discretion <their story was told in strictest confidence> c : support especially in a legislative body <vote of confidence>
4 : a communication made in confidence : secret <accused him of betraying a confidence>
synonyms confidence, assurance, self-possession, aplomb mean a state of mind or a manner marked by easy coolness and freedom from uncertainty, diffidence, or embarrassment. confidence stresses faith in oneself and one's powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance <the confidence that comes from long experience>. assurance carries a stronger implication of certainty and may suggest arrogance or lack of objectivity in assessing one's own powers <handled the cross-examination with complete assurance>. self-possession implies an ease or coolness under stress that reflects perfect self-control and command of one's powers <answered the insolent question with complete self-possession>. aplomb implies a manifest self-possession in trying or challenging situations <handled the reporters with great aplomb>.

[Giesela]

Having just looked up your screen name....perhaps that's the problem?

[Mygalomorph]

Originally Posted by Giesela

Having just looked up your screen name....perhaps that's the problem?

My hobby happens to be entomology- would you have me pretend to be something different?

[virgode]

Originally Posted by Mygalomorph

My hobby happens to be entomology- would you have me pretend to be something different?

Wow, how could you not know the definition of "confident" or is the problem
you don't know how to apply it?

I hear the sound of confidence in your post?

[bobmulk]

Unless you give us more info about your life and your past no one can give you any advice or constructive criticism. You're 46, never had a date or been laid. That's all we know.

Have you asked friends/family what their observations are? Do you have friends? Are you outgoing? Are you friendly? Arrogant? Boring? Are you clean? Are you a geek? Do you dress/act like a geek? Are you stupid? Uninformed? Attitudinal? Self-possessed? Do you have awkward social graces? Are you a mama's boy? Do you live with your folks? Come on, give us something to work with.