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But the biggest problem, as I see it, is definitely the pressure women put on themselves out of sheer spite and competitiveness WITH ONE ANOTHER...not for any man's attention. Which seems both sad and silly, if they are trying to make life easier for themselves. So that I may better understand your position, in what ways are men harsh on women?
Scroll through this forum and you will see. The person above me put it very well. This forum is an EXCELLENT example of how men pick women apart.
So that I may better understand your position, in what ways are men harsh on women?
I know your post wasn't addressed to me, but I am surprised that you don't see how men are also very hard on a woman's looks.
Example: A male 59-something news anchor can be heavy, balding, glasses, and wrinkled and men won't even THINK about how he looks. But just listen to the comments when a woman of similar age apears on the screen. (Even though she may be a much better looking woman at her age than he is at his.)
When people complain about Hilary Clinton, or Nancy Pelosi they immediately attack their looks. But if you met either of those women compared to other women their age- they are actually more attractive than average.
Men use looks as a weapon against women they don't like...and they chose not to like a woman based on her looks- waaaaay more than women do.
while i agree with 98% of these opinions, no one on earth won't convince me that it doesn't work both ways..Maybe not as far as sans woman's man needing to look like Brad Pitt or that young dude from desperate house wives but the whole list of needs to have lots of money, toys, a perfect job, come from a perfect background, etc.. It isn't always a mans fault when a woman doesn't like what god gave her..she has to take responsibility for her lack of self esteem..not find the nearest scape goat.. No, the media and mags. don't help with this but aren't we intelligent enough as humans to understand what make sense and what makes sense to someone else..or does not at all??
And this was really my point...we all have insecurities...and men have some of the most. But most men who are insecure just accept that they are losers for that particular time period, and work to change it. I dont recall them being pressured by the media or by other men. They simply acknowledge that they need to work harder to get women, which will be directly proportional to the things that women say are important to them. And to get women men will attempt to get money, a good job, a decent body etc. But I dont hear to many men blaming their low self esteem on Tom Brady, or whoever that guy that plays Wolverine is. Women like who they like, and for the most part, men try to do what they can to gain favoritism.
Last edited by solytaire; 11-15-2009 at 04:54 PM..
I agree that it goes both ways, but that wasn't the subject of this post. I would also contend that they pressure on women's bodies is subject of the most pressure that either gender feels in these regards. I also did admit that there were some internal self-esteem issues at work as well, but that it is brought on and worsened by external factors.
I used to have a big complex about my body, but now I think I am pretty confident and appreciative of what I have. Everyone's body is beautiful - I think that message needs to be communicated more to people because both men AND women don't seem to be very happy with how they look.
I think a lot of the poor self-esteem comes from the media pressure. I used to constantly expose myself to the pressure before, and I was always comparing my body to other people's and obsessing about how flawed it was.
But I reached a point where I decided to stop doing that and I'm much happier
I used to have a big complex about my body, but now I think I am pretty confident and appreciative of what I have. Everyone's body is beautiful - I think that message needs to be communicated more to people because both men AND women don't seem to be very happy with how they look.
I think a lot of the poor self-esteem comes from the media pressure. I used to constantly expose myself to the pressure before, and I was always comparing my body to other people's and obsessing about how flawed it was.
But I reached a point where I decided to stop doing that and I'm much happier
That's so awesome! I hope to be like you someday, its a work in progress!
I know your post wasn't addressed to me, but I am surprised that you don't see how men are also very hard on a woman's looks.
Example: A male 59-something news anchor can be heavy, balding, glasses, and wrinkled and men won't even THINK about how he looks. But just listen to the comments when a woman of similar age apears on the screen. (Even though she may be a much better looking woman at her age than he is at his.)
When people complain about Hilary Clinton, or Nancy Pelosi they immediately attack their looks. But if you met either of those women compared to other women their age- they are actually more attractive than average.
Men use looks as a weapon against women they don't like...and they chose not to like a woman based on her looks- waaaaay more than women do.
I respect your thoughts on the subject but forgive me if I dont understand where you're coming from. Why would a straight man care what another 59 year old balding fat guy looks like. Why would they knock him? If anything, that older man would probably be praised for giving the younger, less attractive man hope for the future.
As for Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, I noticed that you switched the subject to "people" who talk about them. I think this indicates that most people who speak of their looks probably arent men. I certainly dont often hear men talking about their looks. Most of the men I hear talk about them refer to their cold, sterile, acidic, demeanor as off putting. Not their looks. But I could be wrong. They certainly never never seemed ugly to me. I dont know how women see those two.
But really? You think men judge women on their looks waaay more than women judge other women? Well I think it should be that way, but I dont think it is. The harshest (AND I MEAN HARSH) critiques I have heard of certain women, have come from other women. Seriously, women talk pretty bad about one another for no reason imo.
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True, but interesting... and yes, men will put pressure on other men...I worked with someone who had chosen to remain a virgin until he was married..Out of every male that worked with us, only a couple of us were not on this guys b-ind to change his point of view..or diddn't call him weird or gay behind his back..Believe me, it works both ways..
And if, for example, a man isn't into what everyone else is into, he is usually outcasted.. Ive witnessed this numerous times..
This state of women's minds is their fault and theirs alone.
For the record, no dude cares about not looking like Michelangelo's David. I've seen the hottest women with ogre-like men, big, burly, bald and overweight. Women simply do not impose these standards on men.
But they impose too many restrictions on themselves.
And, ask any guy and he describes himself athletic, toned, muscular etc., and when you actually see the guy, he's a potato
But I have known several women who consider themselves average and if you're asking me, many don't look "average" at all, they are much better looking.
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