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Old 11-21-2009, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,592,868 times
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Open relationship? Tell me what that exactly means...
Why would someone want to have an open relationship, if they are happy with what they got at home?
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,575,933 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Open relationship? Tell me what that exactly means...
Why would someone want to have an open relationship, if they are happy with what they got at home?
I think, this is just what I think, but people feel like they can never have enough and never be satisfied and so they want more and more. More sexual partners more experiences, etc. There will be those who say monogomy isn't natural, etc etc. I say, do whatever you want to do. What you do in your bedroom is not my business.
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,064 posts, read 17,959,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
I think open relationships are wrong on several levels but you go ahead and do whatever makes you happy. The reason people get all sorts of strange fantasies and fetishes is because we over glorify sex. When people are hungry you don't see a roasted chicken dancing on a pole and half hiding its breasts. Fast forward that problem a thousand times with sex and you have modern society. It is unfathomable to me how some people get turned on by beastiality, pedophilia, and other things like midgets in suitcases. Its basically a mental illness that is "acceptable" because people make lots and lots of money off of it.
I disagree. I think that the reason there are so many fetishes and sexual deviants is because of our Puritanical attitude about sex being dirty and "not nice."

When you tell people that something natural is wrong, wrong, wrong unless you have a marriage license and do it under controlled conditions, it makes people deem their natural sexual feelings with guilt and as something bizarre. And some of those people will develop psychological problems -- hence, deviancy.

Look at how often people here refer to sex as "doing the nasty" and "banging." Americans ESPECIALLY have problems with sexuality and they make sport of it or the butt of jokes when it should be beautiful.
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:44 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,806,471 times
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Originally Posted by teatime View Post
I disagree. I think that the reason there are so many fetishes and sexual deviants is because of our Puritanical attitude about sex being dirty and "not nice."
Unfortunately many, many parents will teach their kids in the ''Puritanical'' style. Don't they know that will never worked out.... Thanks to that, more fantasies start to develop.... Maybe if some weren't too Puritanical about it then less of those deviants would occur...
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:49 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,730 posts, read 5,727,254 times
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My DH and I have had some really hot swinging FANTASIES. But when we'd step back and review where we wanted to go in life, and how swinging might affect those we care about....well....we kept the fantasies but never acted them out. You can keep the romance going full-speed...for the duration...telling each other titillating stories and making plans you absolutely have no intention of carrying out. We've been married for decades, and still can't keep our hands off each other. And the fantasies have a great deal to do with the fact that we're still going at it once or twice a day.

But I hope what you've described is not a symptom of something more troubling, that would impact all areas of your life together. Is your BF unselfish in other areas of your relationship? How does he treat others who can do nothing for him or to him?

You might want to google the term 'altruism'. And it might be enlightening to Youtube 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder'. It's general knowledge you'll be able to apply in many areas of life. Maybe you've got a great guy. But you deserve an unselfish guy. I imagine he is: but you need to be sure...

BTW, you sound like a really smart young woman. I'm wishing you the very best!
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,592,868 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime View Post

When you tell people that something natural is wrong, wrong, wrong unless you have a marriage license and do it under controlled conditions, it makes people deem their natural sexual feelings with guilt and as something bizarre. And some of those people will develop psychological problems -- hence, deviancy.
Oh bologna! These people are (hopefully) adults here playing with this situation! They know right, from wrong by now.
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:53 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,064 posts, read 17,959,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
Unfortunately many, many parents will teach their kids in the ''Puritanical'' style. Don't they know that will never worked out.... Thanks to that, more fantasies start to develop.... Maybe if some weren't too Puritanical about it then less of those deviants would occur...
Yep, that's what I think.

And another thing is that some people simply aren't cut out for marriage and they really should remain single, instead of feeling pressured into finding a marriage partner. But society says everyone should be married and sex really isn't "proper" outside of marriage -- the two should NOT be equated.

We are all sexual beings -- it's part of our nature and the way we were created. However, not everyone is wired to succeed at modern society's narrow definition of marriage. So, making only marital sex "proper" denies the fact that we are all sexual and forces people to make bad decisions. Ironically, if the studies I've seen are correct, one-third of all marriages in the U.S. are entirely "sexless." No wonder so many people are unhappy and looking for alternatives!
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Old 11-21-2009, 09:59 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
6,749 posts, read 22,014,280 times
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Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
At the end of the day I'm pretty content that a beautiful woman taking a dump on my chest doesn't turn me on.
THAT is just flat out disgusting
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Old 11-22-2009, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Central, IL
3,382 posts, read 4,067,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Open relationship? Tell me what that exactly means...
Why would someone want to have an open relationship, if they are happy with what they got at home?
Well an open relationship can mean many things. There isnt one set type of open relationship. A lot of open relationships though are when when both people are allowed to also have sex with other people. Even though sometimes it is when only one person has sex outside of the marriage. The latter of the two types of open relationships usually don't last.

Many people that are in open relationships do it for various reasons. Some may not be happy at home, but many are perfectly happy with their marriage and their sex life. The sex with others is more of a thrill seeking activity. Some people sky dive, some bungee jump, swingers have sex with others.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:12 AM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,806,471 times
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Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
Even though sometimes it is when only one person has sex outside of the marriage.
True, which doesn't sound like open to me. It's more like a little kid not wanting to share his package of chocolate M&NS (the ''me, me, me'' thing).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhawkins74 View Post
Many people that are in open relationships do it for various reasons. Some may not be happy at home, but many are perfectly happy with their marriage and their sex life. The sex with others is more of a thrill seeking activity. Some people sky dive, some bungee jump, swingers have sex with others.
That's true as well. Why so many would assume that it never works out and that it's a mental illness like one poster suggested? It's just another variation of a relationship but I'm sure there is commitment as well because it includes being honest too, with whom you doing it, when and where. Just like on a committed relationship, there should be no deceiving, only difference is another or more people are included. Other than that it plays the similar rule of being honest with one another...
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