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LOL Well that's a helluva friend. Invite people over and then cancel because you're going to move? I mean yeah, I can understand the moving. But to decide three days before and AFTER you've already invited people? Wow.
But didn't you say you had been uninvited anyway?
I guess, and now I've been uninvited twice. Ok, so it's a lame ass excuse. Even with boxes all over, I imagine a person could still have Thanksgiving. It's not like there is a HUGE rush to get in there, other than she's been told they want it occupied ASAP and she is on the hook for any damages before she moves in.
All in all - goofy. But I might add, this is a person who doesn't know whether she has signed a month-to-month or year lease. My head spins over this.
remind me again why it is that you are complaining that your "friend" canceled a thanksgiving party, which you had no intentions of going to anyway.
y'know, just so's folks on here don't think you're a bit of a hypocrite who wants everything your own way ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on
I guess, and now I've been uninvited twice. Ok, so it's a lame ass excuse. Even with boxes all over, I imagine a person could still have Thanksgiving. It's not like there is a HUGE rush to get in there, other than she's been told they want it occupied ASAP and she is on the hook for any damages before she moves in.
All in all - goofy. But I might add, this is a person who doesn't know whether she has signed a month-to-month or year lease. My head spins over this.
remind me again why it is that you are complaining that your "friend" canceled a thanksgiving party, which you had no intentions of going to anyway.
y'know, just so's folks on here don't think you're a bit of a hypocrite who wants everything your own way ?
Look, I was having my other friend here. I didn't want all to meet as it could be a powder keg and was trying to avoid that.
As things stand, it's ok. My friend is moving into a roach-infested place, unfortunately, and I wouldn't want to go there anyway. I've offered to talk to the landlord myself to get this straightened out but my offer has been declined.
So I'm a bit of a hypocrite who does not want a drunk guy coming here to end up in the ER or go to someone's house with roaches. Ok.
that's as may be, but didn't your friend deserve you to say "i'm sorry, something's come up, i'm afraid i can't come", rather than you waiting until the last minute ?
you describe the friend as being "extremely rude" for "forgetting" they'd invited you, and yet your flakiness is not rude ?
i don't understand the "drunk guy coming to yours", is that a different part of the story, or is that in some way related to what would happen if you went to hers ?
do you mean that you couldn't take your "other friend" to thanksgiving ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on
Look, I was having my other friend here. I didn't want all to meet as it could be a powder keg and was trying to avoid that.
As things stand, it's ok. My friend is moving into a roach-infested place, unfortunately, and I wouldn't want to go there anyway. I've offered to talk to the landlord myself to get this straightened out but my offer has been declined.
So I'm a bit of a hypocrite who does not want a drunk guy coming here to end up in the ER or go to someone's house with roaches. Ok.
As things stand, it's ok. My friend is moving into a roach-infested place, unfortunately, and I wouldn't want to go there anyway. I've offered to talk to the landlord myself to get this straightened out but my offer has been declined.
Why do you automatically assume the "rescuer" role in these scenarios you write about? Do you have a Florence Nightingale complex, whereas you want to help everyone that you come in contact with, regardless if they want your help or not?
I'm done with that stage of my life. I want to surround myself with the most able-bodied, happy, mentally and emotionally-stable people that I can find. Especially now in such tough times.
I know I can't fix or help everyone. People have to start being adults, sooner or later. I want to be their friend, not their mother or care-taker. People have to step up and take responsibility for their own lives.
Last edited by cricket_factor; 11-23-2009 at 10:34 AM..
Why do you automatically assume the "rescuer" role in these scenarios you write about? Do you have a Florence Nightingale complex, whereas you want to help everyone that you come in contact with, regardless if they want your help or not?
I'm done with that stage of my life. I want to surround myself with the most able-bodied, happy, mentally and emotionally-stable people that I can find. Especially now in such tough times.
I know I can't fix or help everyone. People have to start being adults, sooner or later. I want to be their friend, not their mother or care-taker. People have to step up and take responsibility for their own lives.
Well said. The OP seems to be her own worst enemy. She has been given some very good advice from many different CD contributors on her several drama-laden threads and has concurred that she needs to make some major readjustments in her life and the social circle she moves in.
However, just like the alcoholics and former drug abusers she associates with and terms her "friends", she has to make a significant move to make the necessary changes in her life. If she's unable to start out on that path then she'll continue to post with more explanations, rehashes and new threads in the same vein.
Her posts are contradictory at best. With a history of working in the mental health field, I find it a little incongruous that her work in that field and the caseload involved "made her crazy" but that could well be true.
She seems rather incapable of disassociation. And thus the saga continues ...
Movin'on, you get way too defensive. Let me tell you why people - myself included - are having a hard time wrapping their heads around your posts and why you have been called out on some of them. I'm not trying to be mean by saying this, just offering a perspective that I know is not just my own. Take it in the spirit in which it's meant.
Four days ago, you posted about a friend-of-a-friend who you used to like, but ended up not liking because she didn't RSVP for dinner. You had to try and get along her with since you'd be seeing her on T-Day. That thread morphed into talk about T-Day. You stated yourself that you were re-thinking T-Day at that point and that the "addict" friend was coming into town instead (which as we well know, is not the case anymore). In fact, you clearly said that you were going to "back out." You further stated that your friend would be having others over, so it was no big deal. You cited a few different reasons for having done this which in turn brought in some of the other cast of characters.
Two days later, you started this thread. Which, mind you, was based on the assumption that she had dis-invited you. You didn't bother to even ask her about your assumption or tell her that you weren't going. People wondered at that point why you were getting your knickers in a twist over something that you weren't going to do anyway. You have yet to address that. Instead, something or someone else gets thrown into the mix and the story goes on....
You are being branded a hypocrite because you are. In the span of four short days you got angry with the friend-of-a-friend who dissed you by not calling to let you know that she wasn't coming for dinner .... but yet the hostess for T-Day calls and you don't even bother to let her know that you've changed your plans. So it's okay for you to diss someone but heaven forbid someone do it to you. THAT is why people are calling you a hypocrite.
You've gone back and forth as to why. First it was the addict friend coming, then it was that you didn't want to be around some of them, then it was wanting to keep the peace, then it was the assumed dis-invite, then it was not wanting to be around the addict friend, then it was a move taking place so dinner was cancelled and now it's you not wanting to go there anyway because it's infested with roaches.
Can you understand why it's incredibly difficult for anyone to follow what you're saying and why you get asked so many questions and/or called out on things? You've contradicted yourself. Story's always changing and one more element being added to it. Stories evolve, but this is mind-blowing.
Look, I was having my other friend here. I didn't want all to meet as it could be a powder keg and was trying to avoid that.
As things stand, it's ok. My friend is moving into a roach-infested place, unfortunately, and I wouldn't want to go there anyway. I've offered to talk to the landlord myself to get this straightened out but my offer has been declined.
So I'm a bit of a hypocrite who does not want a drunk guy coming here to end up in the ER or go to someone's house with roaches. Ok.
Folks, you cannot make this stuff up.
Just one question, do you follow the drama or do you think the drama follows you?
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