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Maybe this is something that afflicts people in their early twenties, but I seriously feel like I have to dumb myself down when talking to most girls my age.
I'm not trying to bash women; I've met a few intelligent girls in my life; girls who had substance and could have a discussion about the world.
I like to read a lot of periodicals and history and current events books, but I feel like I can't talk about that with most girls my age; that they're mostly interested in just gossip and popular culture.
I mean, I can't go to a bar or a party and strike up a conversation with a young girl about the effects of World War 2 on the Middle East, or the effects of environmental and agricultural policies on the Third World. Even when it comes to popular culture, I can't go in and tell a girl "Hey, do you think Lost in an analogy for the conflict between science and religion?" or "Do you think District 9 was an allegory for apartheid or the state of the world's refugees?"
I mean, I've tried telling these to some girls and mostly I just get a blank stare, but as soon as I give up and return to gossip and pop culture, they jump right on.
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I think this does happen to everyone..especially during the early 20's phase..simply because you are pretty much right out of High School..where most of life revolves around what is most popular..
During this time you are in flux..Moving away from this and toward better acquainting one's self with the world around you.. and as you get older, pop culture becomes less important..though i believe that there can be a balance between knowing stuff about what you enjoy..and what is going on in the TMZ world around you...To me, it is a sign of a well rounded individual...but, it is all in how what is being shared in the discussion is presented..
I once sat in on a conversation about American politics with one of the guys from The Crystal Method..an Awesome electronic music group after one of their shows at the bar i worked at...i was surprised at how this guy, who is from Europe had such a grasp on what was going on here at the time.. Then we started talking about other less Intelligent things...Still entertaining none the less...
Another time, while sitting at the bar after hours, me and three other co workers discussed religion with the lead singer from Slip Knot..Goes to show you that even the people other people idolize have relevant things to discuss..
Anyhow, yes, as time goes by, most women stop worrying about what Paris Hilton's dog did last night..
By the way, yeah..im kind of thinking that there is some connection between the Science vrs. Religion debate in Lost...Cooolll!!
I once sat in on a conversation about American politics with one of the guys from The Crystal Method..an Awesome electronic music group after one of their shows at the bar i worked at...i was surprised at how this guy, who is from Europe had such a grasp on what was going on here at the time.. Then we started talking about other less Intelligent things...Still entertaining none the less...
Another time, while sitting at the bar after hours, me and three other co workers discussed religion with the lead singer from Slip Knot..
women dont like intense aka heavy conversations its not that they are dumb its that intense people are a put off. save it for the chess club.
Umm, you're incorrectly lumping an entire gender into one classification Maybe some women don't, but it's certainly not all. I, for one, very much enjoy intense conversations about a variety of subjects.
But anyway, back to the OP. Don't "dumb" yourself down. Think about it...you do that, meet a girl you really like and hit it off. Two weeks down the road, two months, two years...are you going to continue to dumb yourself down just to keep from getting that deer-in-the-headlights look? Be yourself. There are plenty of bright, conversation-loving people in their 20s out there, just harder to find than those in an older age group.
I'm 25 and I feel the same way at times. Just do what I do--agree with most of what they say, go along with it, and if you don't like them, don't go out with them again. Pretty simple.
I'm a girl. I mostly have guy friends because girls either get weirded out when I talk about politics/philosophy/art or they give a deer-in-the-headlights look. I don't think its that they don't like intensity, its that most of the females I know have a clique mentality. Granted I live in a very conservative area (your results may vary) and females here have a certain "status quo" where no one does anything out of the ordinary without being shunned from the group. I'm only in my mid-twenties, but I know women 20+ years older who just have a "women don't talk about that" attitude. Traditional female ideals push women to talk about celebrities, clothes, gossip, and babies. A lot of females just jump into that role without thinking about why. They don't talk about such things because they've been raised that such knowledge is useless to them and that they'll be labeled "weird" or "nerdy" if they do have such interests. I'm entirely looking forward to getting pounded on by other females due to this post.
Some girls don't fall into that pit. Want proof? I loved District 9 this year. Only mainstream movie I felt that rivaled it was Inglourious Basterds. I agree on the idea that it was not only a story about the plight of today's refugees, but also a commentary on how human nature is in general: we're willing to help others in need, but quickly learn to resent those same beings when we realize that we, the helpers, need to be proactive (not just throwing money at the problem or exploiting it for our benefit).
My advice: don't look for girls at bars or parties if you want good conversation. Most of the guys you talk to at the same parties are only feeding you lines of BS and misinformation that they heard from their friends who heard it from their parents. The only difference between average guys and average girls is that guys will BS their way through a conversation, girls will avoid the conversation altogether. You want to talk to girls that are particularly smart? Go to places they hang out. Art houses, libraries, coffee shops, book stores, and hole-in-the-wall locations. Most of the intelligent girls I know quit going to bars/parties regularly because they got sick of all the stupid people.
Well, most of these types of conversations tend to happen rather spontaneously and naturally... I happen to find someone that purposefully enters a conversation to just talk about South African economics a tad pretentious. I mean, do you sit around thinking of smart topics to talk about? Just let conversations flow... sometimes they lead to an intellectual realm and sometimes they're just witty banter.
And this coming from someone who loves a good intelligent and/or deep conversation.
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Maybe some women don't, but it's certainly not all. I, for one, very much enjoy intense conversations about a variety of subjects.
