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I am an immigrant who moved to U.S four years ago and lost my legal status due to a certain situation( My fault) that rendered me effectively illegal for any official purposes. During that time i started exploring all my options to get back in uncle Sam's rolls as a desirable resident alien, as going back to my third world country as an option was off the table. The easiest option seemed was to dupe(off course with some mutual affection, but hiding my real need of paperwork) somebody into marrying me and getting the paperwork.
I started dating a smart seeing a beautiful,hardworking,unpretentious,christian girl(later realization) who always gives everybody a benefit of doubt.I led her to believe that i am open to idea of god( I don't believe in an idea of a omnipotent deity, But i don't mind other people's faith) and that we have shared values and goals and emotionally manipulated her into rushing into marriage. My plan was to divorce her once i get all the necessary documentation.
But three years down the road and after spending all these years with her , I realize that she is a wonderful human being(off course with her share of faults) and how woefully short I fall from commitment that she deserves. I have cheated on her and struggle with the emotions that i have sold myself short( i.e tied myself down and not really working towards my goals and aspirations in life which are markedly different from her ministry aspirations). I don't want to cause her hurt by divorcing her but I do want to be real and want her to achieve her full potential howsoever misguided it is(i hold her back by my Bible bashing).
Please let me know of any suggestions of how i can right the wrong i have done to her and also improve myself. I do know that i am a selfish human being and i rarely feel any guilt about cheating or lying.
If you feel no guilt, why the need to "right your wrong"?
A piece of advice, just leave her alone.
Jays my guilt is not "what i have done" but more on the lines of "She doesn't deserve this", And I wish i could just simply leave her alone,But she has invested a lot of emotions and time in our relationship for me to just pack up and leave. I am torn about what is the right path to take...
Jays my guilt is not "what i have done" but more on the lines of "She doesn't deserve this", And I wish i could just simply leave her alone,But she has invested a lot of emotions and time in our relationship for me to just pack up and leave. I am torn about what is the right path to take...
How could you even begin to right the wrong or improve yourself if you can't feel guilty about what you've done?
Jays my guilt is not "what i have done" but more on the lines of "She doesn't deserve this", And I wish i could just simply leave her alone,But she has invested a lot of emotions and time in our relationship for me to just pack up and leave. I am torn about what is the right path to take...
Well it seems quite obvious you aren't ready to commit to her. So just do the right thing and tell her. I would let her waste time investing anymore emotions.
People end relationships everyday. It's part of the risk you take.
How could you even begin to right the wrong or improve yourself if you can't feel guilty about what you've done?
I feel a little bad about the decision i made but i wouldn't go as far as to say I am guilty about it. It was my only option (correction on my opening post), and no way I was going back to the sh*thole i came from.I do understand for somebody born here it is hard to understand and despicable thing to do, but Put put yourself in alien shoes and hopefully you will be able to understand it a little bit. I so wish she would have turned out to be mean and spiteful ...but alas...
I feel a little bad about the decision i made but i wouldn't go as far as to say I am guilty about it. It was my only option (correction on my opening post), and no way I was going back to the sh*thole i came from.I do understand for somebody born here it is hard to understand and despicable thing to do, but Put put yourself in alien shoes and hopefully you will be able to understand it a little bit. I so wish she would have turned out to be mean and spiteful ...but alas...
You feel "a little bad" about intentionally deceiving someone for three years?
Well it seems quite obvious you aren't ready to commit to her. So just do the right thing and tell her. I would let her waste time investing anymore emotions.
People end relationships everyday. It's part of the risk you take.
Thanks Jays , maybe i will write her a letter to explain myself if i truly decided to leave her alone...
You feel "a little bad" about intentionally deceiving someone for three years?
Wow.
What i needed to do stay here, I did. I cannot explain it within rigid moral guidelines and I am not sorry for it. I am just sorry that she has to get hurt.
I knew that beforehand that I will end up hurting her, I just wish she wasn't so good to me.
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