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OK. I guess we'll have to start a tally then. Because it sounded like you were trying to present your opinion as the opinion of all women.
No, I didn't mean it that way. I meant; take "our" word for it, those of us who are saying looks don't factor into the creepiness issue.
Anyway, he can see that there are diverging opinions.
I don't use the word "creepy" to describe people. I have, however, used it extensively to describe a type of eel I saw while staying in Bahamas. (Google "moray eel", but be warned)
As a guy, this is a topic that truly intrigues me, maybe a little more than it should.
While there are many instances of "creepy" being solely a body-language/vibe thing, I think the ladies on this topic are doing a great disservice by denying the contribution that looks bring toward whether a guy is perceived. I have seen that numerous times on fitness forums when the topic was about men approaching them in the gym; if the guy is not attractive, he is intrusive and creepy. If the guy is built and tall, it would be flattering and empowering.
As a guy, I think the best thing you can do is to make sure you keep a well-kept appearance and approach with confidence. There will always be women who will find you creepy no matter what you do or how you look, for either giving off a certain vibe or just because they think you are unattractive. It's only human nature, but that shouldn't be an excuse for treating a guy like dirt just because he isn't "attractive" or comes across as socially awkward.
As a guy, this is a topic that truly intrigues me, maybe a little more than it should.
While there are many instances of "creepy" being solely a body-language/vibe thing, I think the ladies on this topic are doing a great disservice by denying the contribution that looks bring toward whether a guy is perceived. I have seen that numerous times on fitness forums when the topic was about men approaching them in the gym; if the guy is not attractive, he is intrusive and creepy. If the guy is built and tall, it would be flattering and empowering.
As a guy, I think the best thing you can do is to make sure you keep a well-kept appearance and approach with confidence. There will always be women who will find you creepy no matter what you do or how you look, for either giving off a certain vibe or just because they think you are unattractive. It's only human nature, but that shouldn't be an excuse for treating a guy like dirt just because he isn't "attractive" or comes across as socially awkward.
Most of the time for me, it's a behavior thing. If someone is overly charming, overly polite, overly sweet, invading my personal space, brings up sex too early and too casually, that's what gives me the "creep vibe". etc. If they seem completely uninhibited even upon first meeting me, that sends me the message "creepy". If their intentions really aren't creepy, they seriously need to change their approach so they don't come off as such. Sometimes it's a result of a cross-cultural miscommunication and in that case, the person in question has to work on acculturating themselves. And some people on the autism spectrum can come off as creepy without intending to. In that case they also need to learn the "neurotypical laws of the land" if they don't want to be misread.
Though the word may be occasionally used unfairly (for example, to describe a physically unattractive guy's genuinely respectful attempt at striking up a conversation), "creepy" serves a vital function. No other word is as effective as describing when a man has crossed a woman's boundary; no other word forces a man to reflect on how his behavior makes other people feel. A guy can disprove accusations of being weak by displaying strength (often in foolish ways.) But a guy can only disprove the charge of creepiness by fundamentally altering his behavior to be more genuinely respectful of women.
if the guy is not attractive, he is intrusive and creepy. If the guy is built and tall, it would be flattering and empowering.
No. A good-looking guy can still be creepy. (I had to report one to his supervisor once.) If there's something really "off" about his vibe, his demeanor, or as someone said above, if he's too flattering or comes across like there's a hidden agenda, if he's not genuine, or if he clearly has boundary issues, gets in your face or asks questions that are too personal right off the bat, any number of behaviors can send the signal "creepy". And if a woman isn't careful about some of these types, the situation can escalate, and get very weird very fast.
That might be due to the physical power differential between men and women. Women have more to worry about when inappropriate attention gets paid them. And when a woman does harass a guy, the guy just calls her "crazy". Whatever. :-/
There are women who are stronger then men physically.
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