Do you go to both families on Thanksgiving (wife, married, husband)
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For those of you who go to other peoples houses for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Do you try to visit both your family and your spouses family the same day.
Or do you visit one family on Thanksgiving and one Christmas.
My wife and I had dinner yesterday with her family and left somewhat soon after to go to my familys for dessert. Feel bad leaving right after dinner, but I wanted to be with my side for part of the festivities. We've done it this way for years.
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When we lived close by yes and it was tiring by the end of day. Now we live out of state and enjoy our own home and our children if or when they show up
Out of state.
Thanksgiving only a couple times in the last 25 years. Christmas is a day after trip, 1 day up, 1 day at one, the next at the other (that's changed since my mother went to assisted living), 1 day driving back. Sometimes the drive back entailed scooting over to my brother's for a couple hours but that adds 3 or 4 hours to the already 6 hour drive. Mrs. NBP, and me too (I guess) always thought it was important for our kids to have their own traditions. Which was fine with me since, once my dad died when I was 6, holidays weren't all that important. Neither were birthdays. My mother's sister usually reminded her when mine was (still does, I think, I'mm 55). Thanksgiving was sorta big when I was growing up, but that was mostly because deer season started the following Monday.
Hell no! For years we did the 'world tour' on Thanksgiving and finally got smart and quit doing it because; a) it was exhausting and I had to go back to work the next day, b) it's not as if they ever came to visit us any other time of the year.
When I was with my ex, we had a great thing worked out..
For Thanksgiving, her father would have the "family" dinner a week early. The mother would have the dinner two days early. And my family would have Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving day. It worked out nicely, since her parents were divorced and lived quite a ways away. I don't think that it matters what day it's celebrated on, as long as its celebrated with family.
For Christmas, My family would do the opposite of what we did for Thanksgiving. We would do the whole 12 days of Christmas thing, each day building a little more suspense until two days before, then we would do the formal dinner and presents and all of that. Then, my ex and I would spend Christmas Eve with her mother, and Christmas morning with her father.. The rest of the afternoon, we would spend it together - driving around looking at lights, sitting by the (make believe) fire, or whatever..
When I was married we did go to both families on T-Day and then worked something out for Christmas - usually one would do something on Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day. We were really fortunate in that both sides were willing to work things out.
The only issue we really had with Thanksgiving is that we'd eat a meal at one house and then feel too stuffed to eat at the other. Not wanting to offend whomever cooked the second meal, we'd still eat as much as we could manage and then really feel like crap that night! lol
When we were first married we would have Thanksgiving at my parents house and go to my husbands parents the week before on Canadian Thanksgiving....that was my MIL's idea since she is from Canada and figured it would work out better for everyone to not try to cram everything into one specific day.
Christmas was split...Christmas Eve at the inlaws, Christmas day with just us and the kids, and Christmas night my family would come for dinner.
Our parents are now in their 80's so most of the entertaining has stopped. I still invite everyone to my house for dinner on Christmas day and starting next year I will host Thanksgiving for whoever wants to come.
My husband's family is local so it is always "assumed" we would come over for Thanksgiving. However, this year, I cooked and we ate at home, then we went over to his family. My family lives out of town (but in the same state) so I alternate when I go home to visit. He never goes to visit my side of the family during the holidays which is fine with me. I appreciate the time alone with my family and am more relaxed with them.
With the ex-husband we had to go to both my parents' house and my MIL's house.
Then on Christmas, Christmas Eve was spent at his father's house. Christmas morning was spent his mother's house and then Christmas afternoon spent at my parents' house.
Besides the pressure of my ex-husband, I also felt the pressure of my mother to outdo my ex-husband's mother as to how long "the visitors" stayed at each dwelling.
Not having to drive like crazy people during holidays (12 years of this) was a definite unexpected bonus to an otherwise nasty divorce.
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