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It's not about trust, it's about respect. Even if maddog1 was perfectly okay from the get-go with him dining with an ex, it's still something a man should not be doing. Not unless there has become a long established relationship between all of them. It's just simply inappropriate.
Once the two women have met, and once it's been clearly established to everyone's satisfaction that everyone understands where the lines are, it might become a matter of trust. But deliberately going behind your girlfriend's back and making plans she's already said make her uncomfortable, does not add up to a man who is trustworthy, and that's what he's done here. He has an opportunity to change that before this occasion happens, but if he doesn't, were he my boyfriend, he'd be history.
I have to disagree with you about it being inappropriate to spend time one on one with an ex. Many of my exes are friends with THEIR exes, and have been for many years. In fact, some of them go back years before I ever came into the picture. I think it really depends on the individual relationship. My most recent ex is like a brother to me, and there is no way in hell either one of us would even think of doing something. In fact, when my partner gets sick of me, he always suggests that I go grab a drink with my ex and leave him alone.
I have to disagree with you about it being inappropriate to spend time one on one with an ex. Many of my exes are friends with THEIR exes, and have been for many years. In fact, some of them go back years before I ever came into the picture. I think it really depends on the individual relationship. My most recent ex is like a brother to me, and there is no way in hell either one of us would even think of doing something. In fact, when my partner gets sick of me, he always suggests that I go grab a drink with my ex and leave him alone.
Ok...
But an ex is an ex for a reason.
Time to move on.
You can be friendly with an ex, but there is no need to spend time alone with together now that the two of you broke up.
What you do when you are single is your business. However, once you get involved with someone, their feelings do count. Some people feel that your spending time alone with an ex is fine. But... there are people who feel the opposite. If you are dating someone, but still spending time with an ex, that could be considered game playing.
Ok, long story short, my boyfriend told me last week (becasue he was on his facebook too much and I suspected something was up.) that his ex girlfriend was coming to town. When he said she usually likes to get together to eat, I asked him to promise me he would not see her alone. Dinner one night all of us would be fine. He agreed that he would respect my wishes. Since then, he has told me that she brought her new boyfriend with her and the new boyfriend is not at all cool getting together with the ex. Then he says to me his ex is not cool (comfortable) meeting and hanging out with me! So, to accomidate his "friend" , he makes a tentative plan to hang out when I work (unsure where her boyfriend will be.)and says to me as an afterthought, oh, BTW, we talked about getting together Monday. He also said nothing to worry about becasue she has her son with her. (as if Ive never heard of a babysitter.) I am at a loss. Am I being too posessive or is something wrong with this picture? Thank-you
You need to get out of this relationship, STAT
Years ago I was living with a BF who was 'buddies' with a woman he worked with. He told me all the time how he was just sure she was a Lesbian. He and that 'lesbian' now have a 16 year old daughter.
I heard a lot of the same crap your BF is telling you until he impregnated his buddy. I was naively open minded, didn't want to come off like the possessive girlfriend. I'm not saying men and women can't be friends, but there is usually something simmering on the back burner in these friendships.
You can be friendly with an ex, but there is no need to spend time alone with together now that the two of you broke up.
What you do when you are single is your business. However, once you get involved with someone, their feelings do count. Some people feel that your spending time alone with an ex is fine. But... there are people who feel the opposite. If you are dating someone, but still spending time with an ex, that could be considered game playing.
Why shouldn't you still be friends with an ex? I have several good friends who are still great friends with their exes...and I am the same way with some of my exes. Am I still friends with all my exes? Of course not...and neither are my friends still friends with all their exes.
But I really think it depends on the individual relationships and the people involved. Plus you can still move on from a relationship and still be friends with someone. I wouldn't even THINK of being intimate with any of my exes...in fact, I don't even feel any physical attraction to any of them.
But a couple of them, for whatever reason, have become friends.
What do you think about this situation? My boyfriend of many years is having his ex girlfriend whose visiting from another country stay with him and his mother for a week and he is not going to introduce us or see me that week and has never brought me to his home to meet his mother. He said there's nothing going on between them and I have nothing to worry about because they are just friends and she always stays at his home when she visits. His girlfriend before me had the same issue with him. She didn't hear from him until the ex left.
No way! Rule of thumb, if you can't meet the woman, something is being hidden! (Sorry)
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