Do Women Really Get Hit On A Lot (lover, stalk, accept)
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You're talking as if you actually know what it's like to be harassed by someone bigger and stronger than you who's treating you in a threatening or intimidating manner. You're just talking off the top of your head. You have no idea what it's like. You're not qualified to speak authoritatively about this.
I know as have been harassed by certain unstable women. So you don't know what you are talking about!
So how about you don't make assumptions in future.
I was 22 years old and working at the front desk of a gym. A guy came in and asked if I was the girl that was on the gym floor the other day wearing a jean skirt and tights. He was probably in his late 40's/early 50's. He stood there leering at me and I told him that - yes - that was me. My manager was standing right next to me. Then he told me to turn around so he could see my hot body. It was humiliating. And then my manager, who was a woman, said, "Yes. Isn't she cute! That's why we hired her." It was awful. Maybe you like being treated like that. I do not.
As I was pointing out, those are differences between the genders. That is why I sometimes I am amazed that people even get together anymore, because what one gender finds attractive the other finds awful. As a man yes I don't mind being looked at as a piece of meat by women because that means they like me, looks don't kill. But anyway it is a harsh reality that we as a society have to live with. People want what they can have, women want to be left alone and men won't leave them alone and men wish women were all over them and they can't get anywhere near the attention they want. That is life. Do women get hit on a lot? Sure a lot of them do, of course it won' be by me because of their mentality so at least I am one less guy they have to worry about.
As I was pointing out, those are differences between the genders. That is why I sometimes I am amazed that people even get together anymore, because what one gender finds attractive the other finds awful. As a man yes I don't mind being looked at as a piece of meat by women because that means they like me, looks don't kill. But anyway it is a harsh reality that we as a society have to live with. People want what they can have, women want to be left alone and men won't leave them alone and men wish women were all over them and they can't get anywhere near the attention they want. That is life. Do women get hit on a lot? Sure a lot of them do, of course it won' be by me because of their mentality so at least I am one less guy they have to worry about.
I'm not sure why you are letting this affect you so much. I've been hit on by a lot of men. It can be very flattering. I would rather men think that I am attractive than think that I am unattractive. But it seems that you are saying that we should be grateful for every single man that hits on us - whether it's flattering or terrifying or humiliating or offensive. Women can be appreciative of some men and can complain about others. Why aren't women allowed to complain about men that scare them or offend them? And why would a woman complaining about a man that has scared her or offended you then make you feel like you need to never hit on women because of their "mentality?"
And think about someone only viewing you as a sex object. Really think about it. It's not that great.
I'm not sure why you are letting this affect you so much. I've been hit on by a lot of men. It can be very flattering. I would rather men think that I am attractive than think that I am unattractive. But it seems that you are saying that we should be grateful for every single man that hits on us - whether it's flattering or terrifying or humiliating or offensive. Women can be appreciative of some men and can complain about others. Why aren't women allowed to complain about men that scare them or offend them? And why would a woman complaining about a man that has scared her or offended you then make you feel like you need to never hit on women because of their "mentality?"
And think about someone only viewing you as a sex object. Really think about it. It's not that great.
It is not affecting me I am just participating on this thread and pointing out some differences between the genders, no I am not saying that women should be grateful for the attention from.every single man, women are absolutely allowed to complain about men who scare them, in any case it is men who are not allowed to.complain because they are immediately label as wussies, But yes hearing some women complain about men hitting on them is a solid indication of what not to do as a man. Being treated as a sex object by a lady would be a dream come true, but hey that is no surprise, after all I am just a man. Anyway it has been a pleasure discussing this with you but it is getting kind of late and I have to work tomorrow so I don't know how much longer I will be here, maybe we can continue tomorrow.
In line with where the conversation is going...
I get harassed more than hit on. I see some women use these terms interchangeably, but I don't, hence my frequent statements about rarely being approached romantically. As others have noted, harassment is not flattering. It ranges from insulting to intimidating. It dehumanizes you. It frightens you. It doesn't make you feel beautiful or sexy, but rather like some cheap prostitute. You can be fully clothed and not being remotely provocative and it has you questioning yourself. It makes women feel shame over something 100% not their fault.
Then there is the category of men who give passing compliments which are not derogatory, but they don't express interest beyond that, aka they don't try to get your number or anything. This happens sometimes (not sure how to quantify it), and while it can be flattering, it doesn't mean much. It doesn't improve my life in any significant way. Id rather be adored by one person intensley than have a lot of random strangers giving admiration in passing.
Last edited by orangeapple; 09-09-2014 at 11:53 PM..
Then there is the category of men who give passing compliments which ate not derogatory, but they don't express interest beyond that, aka they don't try to get your number or anything. This happens sometimes (not sure how to quantify it), and while it can be flattering it doesn't mean much. It doesn't improve my life in any significant way. If rather be adored by one person intensley than have a lot of random strangers giving admiration in passing.
Is giving compliments in passing ok? If you're in a relationship, you can't do anything more than give a compliment to strangers. You see someone who looks appealing, maybe they're dressed nice, and you want to acknowledge that. I thought occasional compliments were were a nice thing to do? A pick-me-up for the complimentee?
I know as have been harassed by certain unstable women. So you don't know what you are talking about!
So how about you don't make assumptions in future.
Good point, but when men get harassed, we're still on the right side of the power differential. I don't worry about my physical safety with women, even a crazy one. A crazy stalker one would be irritating, but she can't hurt me.
Is giving compliments in passing ok? If you're in a relationship, you can't do anything more than give a compliment to strangers. You see someone who looks appealing, maybe they're dressed nice, and you want to acknowledge that. I thought occasional compliments were were a nice thing to do? A pick-me-up for the complimentee?
Like I said, it can be flattering - so not offensive. It just doesn't mean much. Yeah it's a boost for like 5 minutes...
I admit I go through a "what's wrong with me?" script in my head because there is confirmation of you being physically attractive, but no evidence of being valued beyond being pretty scenery to others. This is no fault of the complimenter, but just the reality if it, because its a shallow observation (not that the complimenter is shallow).
To use an illustration... Let's say you had a bakery. And people frequently passed by and said, "Wow, those cupcakes looks delicious!", but they never bought anything. After awhile, it just wouldn't mean much. It could be slightly grating even.
Good point, but when men get harassed, we're still on the right side of the power differential. I don't worry about my physical safety with women, even a crazy one. A crazy stalker one would be irritating, but she can't hurt me.
She could (with a weapon etc) but yeah it's less likely.
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