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That does make more sense lol. I want to live with her because I want to be with her, not for convenience, it would save money I guess, but I have not even thought about that until you said it. Thanks Andrea, so "no pressure" or "if you say no, or aren't comfortable with it, it's totally fine" seems like good things to say after I ask. What else I should take into this conv tonight? I want to do my best to make it easy for her to say no if she wants to say no.
That does make more sense lol. I want to live with her because I want to be with her, not for convenience, it would save money I guess, but I have not even thought about that until you said it. Thanks Andrea, so "no pressure" or "if you say no, or aren't comfortable with it, it's totally fine" seems like good things to say after I ask. What else I should take into this conv tonight? I want to do my best to make it easy for her to say no if she wants to say no.
That should be good, I mean she's a lil older so, you know, she will react a little more mature about it then say a much younger women (not that YOU are immature at 21) you clearly are showing your maturity through your actions and thoughts.
I think as long as you make it very stress free, no pressure, just the two of you hanging out like usual, and then casually bring it up with something like, "hey, i was thinking - how do you feel about moving in together when our leases end?" If someone approached me that way, I don't think it would be stressful. Or you could start out by saying, "Hey, you know our leases are both ending in June...." and start with that... maybe you might be surprised and SHE might be the one to say something like "I've been thinking about living together..."
You never know. Ya know?
Just don't put a lot of planning and thought into it. When the time is right to start that conversation, you will know it.
While I totally respect peoples belief on not living together until marriage. I personally believe if you can't live together, then you shouldn't be married.
I would never just marry someone and then live together... I think that's asking for a lot of trouble (potentially) down the line. Just my own personal opinon on this topic.
I would suggest only doing this if marriage is in your future. If the plan is to save on rent or travel time, I wouldn't do it. The entire dynamic changes when you move in and a break-up is like a divorce. I've done it and went through the break up.
if the ending of your leases happens to fall at a convenient time, that's cool, but make sure you're ready for the change it brings to the relationship.
it's often harder than you think. being in each other's faces 24/7 is a different deal entirely than staying for a few nights a week.
Last edited by bobman; 12-01-2009 at 10:58 AM..
Reason: someone keeps changing around my keys
Don't take this wrong folks--but if people actually knew what they were doing, would we have more than 50% of marriages end in divorce? Not very good odds for folks who think they know what to do. I'm a two time loser,so all I know is what not to do.
yes, I think it's a good time to start to talk about it, let her know what you're thinking. i love that you're planning thinking about the future. Good luck to you . communication is #1, let her know your thoughts. , why you think it will be a good idea.
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