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I have to throw this question out. What's up with people trying to talk to people not on their level. It amazes me when I see a criminal convict with multiple kids trying to step to a woman with two degree's, no kids, and a stable home. What's up with people?
If you make $5 an hour then why would you try to talk to a woman making $50 per hour? Are women that desperate that they will ignore all the standards they created for their life just to have someone by their side. As I recall the #1 reason for divorce is financial reasons. Suga Free said: Baby don't get it twisted I love you too, but when rent and that car note come what love gonna do?
Ok, so you're saying that, if someone is attracted to someone else, they shouldn't talk to them because that other person is "out of their league"?
Let me poise an example here:
So he goes out one night, there's a local band playing down at the Pavilion that he's heard a lot about, and he'd really like to see what they're thing is. He puts on a nice pair of jeans, an off-white polo shirt, and a moderately trendy looking sport jacket. He's looking good.
While he's there, he meets a nice lady and they hit it off. She's a "10" in his book, has an amazing personality, and she was obviously getting into the music. So they talk for a couple hours, nothing really in depth, just making conversation.. They dance together a few times, and by the end of the night, they look like they were meant for one another. The band finally starts to pack up, and he knows he has to get up early, so they exchange phone numbers and set up a date for the following weekend.
Thing is, up until just a few days ago, he was an unemployed "bum" living off money that his parents loaned him to get by on. He's in debt to everyone, and the best job he could find was making seven bucks an hour working part time at the factory. He only has one nice set of clothes, and he wore them out that night just so that he wouldn't be so embarrassed by all the holes in his other shirts.
The lady, on the other hand, is a corporate executive making more money than God (figuratively speaking, of course). She has new cars, a big house, and has never had any problems with money.
Now what you're saying is this: Because of the mans situation, he shouldn't date the woman, even if there is a mutual attraction.
So, going a little further with my hypothetical situation, lets say that the man was formerly very successful in life, but because of a hard divorce several years ago, he lost nearly everything he had. He cared more about his children than himself, so he gave up the house, the cars - everything - so that they would always be taken care of and always have a home to go to. Because of the divorce, he lost his job as well, since his wife and his boss were closely related. Since then, he hasn't been able to find another good job like that because of the economy, but he tries his hardest to get by and keep on sending his children much needed money.
Ok, so the guy isn't that bad at all, right?
My point is this: It's so easy to judge a book by it's cover that one never gets the opportunity to read what may be the most amazing story ever wrote.
People are people, despite what tribulations they may have gone through. If there's an honest connection, everything else can always be worked out.
I have to throw this question out. What's up with people trying to talk to people not on their level. It amazes me when I see a criminal convict with multiple kids trying to step to a woman with two degree's, no kids, and a stable home. What's up with people?
This is a very interesting phenomenon that I’ve witnessed a lot. Its not just the women who marry ex cons. This is relatively rare but much more common is……
Men who are slobs, can’t look after themselves, are unreliable and many other negatives about them often seem to attract women who are looking for a project to work on. They avoid the many decent men who have it together. I used to think these types intimidated them but instead it’s a misplaced nurturing impulse. Of course, such men must be (relatively) at least somewhat physically attractive fo this to occur.
Meanwhile, those well organized men either attracted or are matched with women who had lots of problems such as neuroses, mental or physical health issues, severe spending problems or a myriad of other issues.
Women regularly try to shame the good guy types, who complain about nearly always striking out, while attempting to find a woman with similar qualities to themselves, that they really should give these other women their attention.
I’ve known too many who succumbed to this advice and they not only always regret it but end up in a worse position in divorce than a man facing years of child support. At least, the children eventually grow up and the c/s ends!
I think if you're interested in someone, you should talk to them regardless of whether you think they're out of your league or not. No, I don't like to get hit on by losers, but I guess I can't blame them for trying. I was just talking to a guy online today, totally adorable and we seem to have some of the same interests, but I am concerned because according to his profile, I make three times more per year than he does! He is four years younger than me, but it's still a concern because I would like to get married in a few years, and we do appear to be on very different socioeconomic levels right now. I might still just go ahead and meet him and see if we hit it off.
Well, if you FALL IN LOVE and decide to have a shared economy then you'll end up on the same socioeconomic level. Problem solved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dgfurman
Shared life experiences, like shopping in Paris, or shopping at Walmart (no offense, I've done both, ok?).
By Zeus! I hope I never have to resort to talking about where I go shopping...
I have to throw this question out. What's up with people trying to talk to people not on their level. It amazes me when I see a criminal convict with multiple kids trying to step to a woman with two degree's, no kids, and a stable home. What's up with people?
If you make $5 an hour then why would you try to talk to a woman making $50 per hour? Are women that desperate that they will ignore all the standards they created for their life just to have someone by their side. As I recall the #1 reason for divorce is financial reasons. Suga Free said: Baby don't get it twisted I love you too, but when rent and that car note come what love gonna do?
*sigh*
It's simple. People try to talk to people "not on their level" for the same reasons they would try to talk to people who are "on their level" -- to get to know them. Because really, without talking to the person and getting to know them and spending some time with them, you have absolutely no idea if that person is "on your level" or not. All you know is superficial crap like how they dress and the car they drive -- things that can be very bad indicators of what "level" a person is on.
Forget about levels. They mean nothing. Get to know people.
Someone should design an official dating questionaire and require a test to determine if you are qualified to date. They make you do it for a driver's license, child and dog adoptions. What the hell, why not dating too?
Someone should design an official dating questionaire and require a test to determine if you are qualified to date. They make you do it for a driver's license, child and dog adoptions. What the hell, why not dating too?
Ooh! Ooh! If this happens, can you see to it that they make sure people are qualfied to become parents, too? Really, there should be a test or something.
It obviously isn`t love then, if you are looking at the $ sign, before anything else.
There is no such thing as true love at first sight. That first physical spark is all sexual infatuation. And it's what happens to the couple after deciding to date each other that eventually leads to real love.
If a guy with nothing to offer me financially (as in being completely broke and out of work) approached me for a date, I would immediately think scam artist or wannabe gigolo. But if he was willing to be friends first and instead got a job first and pulled his life into shape before asking me out on a date, then I would have respect for him and his life priorities. And if he feels I should be willing to romantically date and have sex with him before he pulls his life back together, then I don't care if I miss out on "catching him" before he becomes successful. I really don't have any respect or desire to be with a man that needs the instant gratification of sex now while he's destitute and is wasting his time on play instead of working his butt off to be a success for himself and those he loves.
Someone should design an official dating questionaire and require a test to determine if you are qualified to date. They make you do it for a driver's license, child and dog adoptions. What the hell, why not dating too?
but what does being qualified to date mean? that one can date responsibly?
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I was just talking to a guy online today, totally adorable and we seem to have some of the same interests, but I am concerned because according to his profile, I make three times more per year than he does! 
He is four years younger than me, but it's still a concern because I would like to get married in a few years, and we do appear to be on very different socioeconomic levels right now. I might still just go ahead and meet him and see if we hit it off.
