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I would think they are asking you this because even though you are light skinned you have some feature that makes people think you are not caucasian. And if someone was to have a child with you, they could get a really big surprise when the kid is born if you have other races- nationalities. So it is better to know upfront.
For example, my son is mixed black/white, but his skin is white, he has freckles, and his hair is brown. But he does have a wider nose, so people ask me if they are mixed. But his kids could very easily be very dark black because his family has very dark black skinned people in it. So he does have that gene to possibly pass on to his children.
Tell me about it! Try being a 6'1" tall woman and hearing "Did you play basketball????" for DECADES!
Tell 'em you play miniature golf!
No, really... it gets old! It happens even in other countries. Let's say I go on vacation to Mexico. Since they see a lot of Americans and also can detect an accent, telling them you're from Arizona is not good enough, either! Where is this ACCENT from?!
Tzaphkiel, You are reading negativity into it. There is nothing negative about it. Maybe you should come and visit Encino and the surrounding areas on your next vacation to see that there is NOTHING NEGATIVE AT ALL ABOUT IT. Besides, the OP (in reading some of his other posts) seems to have an issue with race and being a black dude and how he's treated as such.
No one is being judged on their race. Most people just think or say "Wow, thats fantastic! He's going to eat grits and chitlins at his grandmothers house after Hebrew school". Nothing negative at all about it.
For example, while coaching at Encino, one of the parents assumed my kid was jewish because of his uber Russian name and asked me about the synagogue and how he likes the school there. Then she asked "oh, are you Jewish?" I wasnt offended at all and it wasnt a rude question to ask.
I think the OP just has issues with his race thats all. Every woman who ever asked me "what race are you?", "What country are you originally from?" or "What are you mixed with?" usually asks because she's attracted to me and just wants to know. 99 times out of 100 I ended up dating that woman anyway so again, its no big deal and DEFINITELY NOTHING NEGATIVE.
Last edited by LaoTzuMindFu; 12-06-2009 at 11:32 AM..
I agree with you to a point, but for Christ's sake...an accent is different than a scar or a limp. There are some times when it's just not appropriate to ask certain questions.
And besides, not everyone lets everything get to them. You wouldn't ask questions of people and don't like it when people do. I respect that. But that doesn't mean everyone else's view on it is wrong
Also can depend on culture. My friend married a Brit, and he told her that when he first started working in the US, he was appalled by the rude questions he was asked, such as "Where do you live?" and "What do you do for a living?" Most of us wouldn't think of those questions as rude, but I guess in some parts of England that would be digging to find out what class you belong to.
Also can depend on culture. My friend married a Brit, and he told her that when he first started working in the US, he was appalled by the rude questions he was asked, such as "Where do you live?" and "What do you do for a living?" Most of us wouldn't think of those questions as rude, but I guess in some parts of England that would be digging to find out what class you belong to.
Excellent point!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
Hey, people in Jersey don't have accents! Everybody else does!
Yep, that's exactly what I say about mine! (though I'm not from Jersey)
Last edited by wigirl920; 12-06-2009 at 11:46 AM..
I would think they are asking you this because even though you are light skinned you have some feature that makes people think you are not caucasian. And if someone was to have a child with you, they could get a really big surprise when the kid is born if you have other races- nationalities. So it is better to know upfront.
For example, my son is mixed black/white, but his skin is white, he has freckles, and his hair is brown. But he does have a wider nose, so people ask me if they are mixed. But his kids could very easily be very dark black because his family has very dark black skinned people in it. So he does have that gene to possibly pass on to his children.
This is a good book you might be interested in, if you haven't read it already. It deals with the issues of light skin/dark skin and the phenomenon of "passing" within the black community.
if you have to know someone's race, then yes, they are being judged on their race.
if it was a non-issue, then you would not be asking
the offensiveness and the rudeness is determined by the person being asked the question, not by the person asking it
so when people tell you, from personal experience, that it is rude and offensive, do you take that into account, and possibly show some respect towards them? or do you further discount and belittle them by keeping on with the same behavior?
you may not mind being asked "what are you"
but a whole lot of people DO find that question rude and offensive
in other words, if you can't hear when someone says "this is offensive behavior", and you deny it, then that is a flagrant act of disrespect towards a person.
it's on the order of someone looking at you and saying "How did you get that scar?" or "What happened to your face?" or "Why do you limp?" or "What's wrong with your shoulder?" or "Why do you talk that way?" or "What's wrong with your skin?" or "What's that on your face?"
get the picture why its rude?
That's absurd. Why would you compare one's race with a handicap, a scar, a mole, something unattractive or shameful?
People ask me all the time if I have Filipino or Asian in my background. I am Hispanic but have a different look about me and have been asked this all my life. I don't find it offensive at all, they're curious. It didn't stop them from approaching me in the first place, nor did it discourage them when they found out the answer so I know it isn't a racist issue.
I ask as well and have never been told to mind my business or that I was rude. I see it as an opportunity to learn about them, other cultures and backgrounds, and they are happy to indulge me.
Just a thought--some people may actually ask, to see if you have pride or guilt about your ancestry, which says a lot about a person in itself.--- I have Pride, even though I had nothing to do with it.
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It happens even in other countries. Let's say I go on vacation to Mexico. Since they see a lot of Americans and also can detect an accent, telling them you're from Arizona is not good enough, either!
