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Ok let me start by the baack ground im 21 shes just about 22 we have dated for about 8 mounts but you gotta understand we have knowned eachother longer instley as soon as we started dating she moved in with me it wasnt set in stone but like she came over one night and we were glued at the hip lol and then it was like well your living with me she just didnt spend one night not beside me I fell in love and so did she and im not using that word east ive only told one other girl that and she had my child... but there was a flaw with my Girl she didnt have a job im not a rich kid i work a fulltime dead in job but im currently gettin my schooling to better myself butt she didnt seem to have any motivation so i helped her i got her a job waiting tables ( i know its peddy but times are hard) she HATED it and i hated that she hated it soo I helped her get a diffrent job at a hotell cleaning rooms she hated that one even more but she stuck to it i was proud then one day she was like i really hope you get this new job ( making 32 an hour ) i dunno how much more i cant take of this i was so in love i told her baby go ahead and tell them u cant come in tomorrow and you can get a better easer job ( she said the hotel was to hard...) so she did and it was ok but then nothing happend like 45 days went by and she never even tried to get a job i had to ride her to get one application and its sitting right here on my desk.... it really got to me i was working overtime to support us i was paying for EVERY Thing car food lights wather rent cable it all she would just sit at home watching tv and movies i woont sug coat it i became an ******* and very quickly felt like i was falling outta love and 2 days ago we kinda got into a fight and i told her to comehere i need to talk to her and said i dont think its working out you havent even made an effort to get a job nothing and i broke up with her she cried a little but got most of her stuff the nessitys and left and can i say the past few days have been horrible for me and right before i found this website i relized somehting i wasnt very supportive in helping her get a job i kinda just "rode her ass" or was like did u do anyhting today besides sit on your ass haha i told u i was being a ass we havent talked much since the break up and i was wondering what u people think about me trying to talk to her maybe say i relize that its as much my fault that we went happy in the end as it is yours that i didnt support you and give you good encurgment just negative encurgament or is she just lazy ... i can remember a time when she had 2 jobs at the same time so i dont understand why she ddint have one now i wanna hear some input before i make a decission thankss
Most of it has started when we moved into a diffrent apt with 2 of my firends ( guy and girl) and she didnt really click with them there both 100% goodie goodie by the books kinda people and me and her are lol well lets just hope the police dont show up kind i am what i like to call having a diddo personality i can get along with just about every one great it comes with being a libra i think i can change to fit in i guess i am sitll my own perosn jsut i dunno anyway just though about that so i put it out there
I hope you don't mind I've fixed this to be more readable, Mike, so you can get the advice you need without any confusion in the message. I had to read it a couple times, initially.
Translation with grammar, paragraphs, and punctuation:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mikemike24
Ok, let me start by some background. I'm 21, she's just about 22. We have dated for about 8 months. But you have to understand that we have known each other longer. Instantly, as soon as we started dating, she moved in with me. It wasn't set in stone, but she came over one night and we were glued at the hip, lol. Then, it was like, well your living with me, she spent all of her time with me.
I fell in love, so did she. I'm not using that word lightly, as I've only told one other girl that, and she had my child.
However, there was a flaw with my Girl, she didn't have a job. I'm not a rich kid, I work a full time, dead end job, but I'm currently doing my schooling to better myself.
She didn't seem to have any motivation, so I helped her. I helped her get a job waiting tables ( i know its not the best, but times are hard). She HATED it - and I hated that she hated it. Soo, I helped her get a different job at a hotel cleaning rooms. She hated that one even more, but she stuck to it. I was proud.
Then, one day, she was like, "I really hope you get this new job ( making $32 an hour). I dunno how much more i cant take of this. I was so in love, I told her, "Baby, go ahead and tell them you can't come in tomorrow, and you can get a better, easier job." ( she said the hotel was too hard...) She did and it was ok. But then, nothing happened. 45'ish days went by and she never even tried to get a job. I had to ride her just to get one application and its sitting right here on my desk....
It really got to me. I was working overtime to support us, I was paying for EVERY THING - car, food, lights, water, rent, cable, etc. She would just sit at home watching tv and movies. I wont sugar coat it, I became an ******* and very quickly felt like I was falling out of love.
2 days ago we kinda got into a fight and I told her to "come here" -i needed to talk to her. I said, "I don't think its working out, you haven't even made an effort to get a job - nothing," and I broke up with her. She cried a little, but got most of her stuff, the necessities, and left. The past few days have been horrible for me.
Right before I found this website I realized something, I wasn't very supportive in helping her get a job, I kinda just "rode her ass" or was like "did u do anything today besides sit on your ass" - haha- I told you I was being an ass. We haven't talked much since the break up and I was wondering what you people think about me trying to talk to her?
Maybe say that I realize that its as much of my fault that we weren't happy in the end, as it was yours - that I didn't support you and give you good encouragement, just negative reinforcement.... or is she just lazy ... i can remember a time when she had 2 jobs at the same time, so i don't understand why she didn't have one now. I wanna hear some input before I make a decision. Thanks.
My input is .... you should not contact her for ANY reason. She's a freeloader with no motivation. Yeah, you probably feel bad, but you did what you had to do. Maybe this dose of reality is the jolt she needs to get her rear in gear and do something with her life, other than sit around on her ass watching TV and eating bon bons.
Hey if she refuses to get a job, is it really your job to support her the rest of your lives? IMHO, no. If she isn't gonna respect you to atleast try to get a job then she isn't good enough for you. Everyone deserves to be respected in life.
Good Luck.
Stop getting so serious so fast. A live in gf you're not sure about and a baby with another girl. Your life is going to suck hard if you don't smarten up fast.
I truly think you moved this girl into your place way too soon. How well did you know her or anything about her past? You fell in love physically first and although that happens a lot, it doesn't make it a good way to have a secure relationship.
If you still care about this girl, keep separate living places...you stay in yours and she stays in her own until you can see that she can take care of herself and find a good job. You are both very young and need to find your own ways before you can take care of anyone else.
Don't be thinking that it is your fault that this didn't work and she had to leave. She is old enough to find a job on her own and perhaps you should have supported her but it is her responsibility to find work. You should not have to lead her by the nose to a job. I don't think that telling her to get off her lazy ass was smart but frustration can and will make you say a lot of mean stuff.
So, in the meantime, see her if you want to but don't move her back in until you are BOTH secure with a job. Good Luck!!
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butt she didnt seem to have any motivation so i helped her i got her a job waiting tables ( i know its peddy but times are hard) she HATED it and i hated that she hated it soo I helped her get a diffrent job at a hotell cleaning rooms she hated that one even more but she stuck to it i was proud then one day she was like i really hope you get this new job ( making 32 an hour ) i dunno how much more i cant take of this i was so in love i told her baby go ahead and tell them u cant come in tomorrow and you can get a better easer job ( she said the hotel was to hard...) so she did and it was ok but then nothing happend like 45 days went by and she never even tried to get a job i had to ride her to get one application and its sitting right here on my desk.... 
it really got to me i was working overtime to support us i was paying for EVERY Thing car food lights wather rent cable it all she would just sit at home watching tv and movies i woont sug coat it i became an ******* and very quickly felt like i was falling outta love and 2 days ago we kinda got into a fight and i told her to comehere i need to talk to her and said i dont think its working out you havent even made an effort to get a job nothing and i broke up with her she cried a little but got most of her stuff the nessitys and left and can i say the past few days have been horrible for me and right before i found this website i relized somehting i wasnt very supportive in helping her get a job i kinda just "rode her ass" or was like did u do anyhting today besides sit on your ass haha i told u i was being a ass we havent talked much since the break up and i was wondering what u people think about me trying to talk to her maybe say i relize that its as much my fault that we went happy in the end as it is yours that i didnt support you and give you good encurgment just negative encurgament or is she just lazy ... i can remember a time when she had 2 jobs at the same time so i dont understand why she ddint have one now i wanna hear some input before i make a decission thankss
I need help please asap
