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My ex used to say something very insightful about porn...
A man pouring over his porn collection is like a man standing outside a restaurant and watching other people eat, while he stands there hungry...
Seems to me if men would invest some time in a real relationship they wouldn't have to be worried about seeing a prostitute OR maybe the women that they are interested in get a certain vibe from them and don't want that kind of person in their life...catch 22 I imagine.
Seems to me if men would invest some time in a real relationship
Im not going to get into this topic too deep but this sentence struck me..
I just moved into a new town and Im staying with a life long best friend.My friend is a good hearted,family dedicated responsible and good looking guy.
He was married once,she cheated on him,they got divorced and she took him to the cleaners.
17 ago he married again still young around 20 or 21 actually he was a little older then that but,loved her dearly to this day,took in her 5 and 7yr old kids and treated them as his own.A few years ago she cheated on him with one of his friends,he forgave her.She just cheated on him again with another of his friends,this time they are now divorced after 17yrs marriage,she is living with his "friend" now.
So now he has been seeing a girl he knows casually,who is seperated and unhappy,and her husband has some girlfriend.
Another of my friends friends,she is unhappy in a marriage,she keeps hitting on me...I met her husband,met her kid,I can't do it.She says her husband and her haven't had sex in 3 years,her husband is no longer attracted to her.
So what's my point,while some men are to blame for a bad relationship,some men do invest in a relationship like my friend did,and he got slapped in the face and put into financial stress because of it.
Speaking of prostitution,go into a wealthy area and you'll see quite a few good looking girls married to a old guy because of one thing....mula,think she isn't visiting "Rico" the pool guy for a dose of sex?
Dude,to answer your question if you are feeling that lonely and that in need,do what you gotta do and don't worry about feeling guilty,because there are alot of women who do alot of things and feel no guilt from it either...and I don't mean all women,before I get flamed.
Yes, you are right, "years" is a long time. It's kind of a long story why I struggle to date. Suffice to say, I am shy, inhibited around women, and also picky, a difficult combination.
Not to be someone who kicks a person when they're down, but......
I've never used the services of a "professional" woman, however there have been two times in which I had the occasion to inquire about, ahem, service offerings and price. The first time I was representing a group of very drunk men (of which I was one) looking to secure the services of a prostitute for our friend, the groom, at his bachelor party. Fortunately the driver of our party bus made it clear we couldn't use his vehicle and so we called off negotiations. The second time was while in Amsterdam on a business trip and walking through the Red Light District. I was with my brother and we were just curious about the process and so we approached one of the women to inquire. We were actually calling our family and friends back in the States to tell them where we were; we were the last two guys anyone would expect to be talking to prostitutes.
Anyway, my point is that in both experiences I found it to be very awkward and embarrassing to be talking to strange women about the possibility of having sex with them. I found it much less difficult to approach an attractive woman in a bar or club. And the thought of having to pay for something like that and have only the memory of sex with a stranger, a stranger who routinely has sex with different men would seem depressing.
If you could muster the courage to approach a prostitute and negotiate price shouldn't it be simple enough to approach attractive women?
If you could muster the courage to approach a prostitute and negotiate price shouldn't it be simple enough to approach attractive women?
You would think...Like I said there is a certain psychopathology to a person who would pay for sex...not my opinion but that of the psychiatric community...
Wow, going to a prostitute is just beyond my wildest thoughts...I can't even imagine it and would become a monk before I would stoop to that level. Having sex with someone that you know NOTHING about, (I take that back, you know she has had sex with a gazillion other people), and don't even know her..what is the point here? If friction is all you are after, get a half gallon milk carton and cut a hole in the side and pack the carton with warm liver...you can change pictures on it and have sex with Brittny Frickin Spears if you want. Wow!!
uhm- a bit graphic. This is not that kind of site.
Location: Sunny Phoenix Arizona...wishing for a beach.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surveyorusa
Yes, you are right, "years" is a long time. It's kind of a long story why I struggle to date. Suffice to say, I am shy, inhibited around women, and also picky, a difficult combination. I have given it more thought and energy than I care to remember, and I have gone down all the aveunes most of you would suggest -therapy, self-help books, anti-depressants, personal ads, classes on "meeting people," even a dating coach. After a while you get burnt out trying to work on this stuff and you need a break, and for a while I have not been dealing with it.
I am not naive about what visting a working girl means. It is not a cure for loneliness. I know it's a business transaction for her, but in a sense it is for me, too. (The same can be said for visiting a therapist, you know, which you are reminded of at the end of the hour when your therapist interrupts and says, "I think our time is up for today.") Just like you sometimes pay a therapist just to have someone to spill your problems to, I envison seeing a working girl as a kind of therapy and human contact that I have difficulty obtaining any other way.
And I am aware of the possibilities for disease even with a condom. Then again, you take that chance whenever you sleep with someone new, right? And how do you know they did not have 100 sex partners in the past?
Finally, I do like to be open with women I date. I would hate to hold stuff back. I probably would not let spill on the first date that I have a Chicken Ranch frequent visitor card, but I would hope to let her know at some point. In my experience some women I've known would have no problem with this, others would. I could probably guess her reaction to this news based on how she feels about related things. I also would not want to date a woman who has such severe moral problems with this sort of thing (in the right context, at least) that she would disown me. But it is a delicate thing.
Sounds like you made up your mind already but you want us to justify it. I don't think you'll feel any better when you drop your pants and some money on the table. My guess is you'll come out as lonely and unfullfilled as you went in. I also think you are having a problem reconciling this with yourself. I say let this feeling pass, you are not the only guy going through this right now. Join some kind of a singles group or something. You'll see the right person will cross your path at the right time.
Sounds like you made up your mind already but you want us to justify it. I don't think you'll feel any better when you drop your pants and some money on the table. My guess is you'll come out as lonely and unfullfilled as you went in.
I agree with this quote. Any doubts or feelings of guilt you are having right now, and you must have some or you wouldn't be asking about this, will only intensify and grow after the act is complete.
I think he is just trying to get a quorum majority vote so he has a clear conscious..."I didn't want to be here, but the majority of the people from CD felt that it was okay so...would you just TELL me what you would do...I'll give ya fifty cents...seventy five cents if you say it with conviction and throw in a periodic OOH and AHH"
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Just curious.
