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In my office there is quite a bit of banter between coworkers of the opposite sex. Most are married. Some of it is outright flirting, others is sexual jokes and others is close workplace friendships of people of the opposite sex.
I wonder what their spouses would think if they overheard what was said.
Do you ever say anything to a person of the opposite sex that you would be embarrassed about if your husband or wife overheard?
My husband gets hit on all the time by his customers which are 95% women. Some have outright propositioned him even though he is sporting a wedding band. He works out and has a large, muscular physique and the women he encounters are always commenting on how he looks. I can imagine some of the things said that he doesn't tell me about but I know who he is coming home to and I make sure home is happy.
The s.o. and I worked at a place were we had to deal with "band dudes". I felt embarassed when they would hit on me and I said I had a boyfriend and they would say something sleazy about that and then I just would point to him (s.o.) and laugh. He is a big guy and you do not want him glaring at you the way he was glaring at them. It made me really uncomfortable for everyone involved.
I have male friends because I work in a mostly male place but my SO is also friends via me with these same people, he's okay if we from work all go out and he doesn't (which rarely happens) but otherwise, I give him no reason to think anything is off because we trust each other and have never given each other a reason to be insecure.
My wife's best friend in the office is a married man. They are work spouses and are very close but I know there is nothing romantic going on. They just do not have that type of relationship. Though I suspect they spend a lot of time talking about each others spouses which might be a little difficult to hear if there were a secret hidden camera.
I've been rather a flirt for many years now and typically mean nothing by it. I've always been able to deliver a compliment to a woman and will do so easily -- and as I age, I've noted brazen and occasional bouts of shameless.
My wife got used to it a long time ago and has even complimented me on my quips.
A prime example:
A young woman of moderate appearance was trying to get some items in a crowded grocery store. She was much younger than I and clearly the self-conscious sort, appearing shy and rather demure.
As she passed in front of me to get another armful of what she was after, she apologized to me for her passage, to which I responded "You could walk back and forth in front of me all day long and I wouldn't complain."
Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Once she left, my wife said "You probably made her day with that."
I've been rather a flirt for many years now and typically mean nothing by it. I've always been able to deliver a compliment to a woman and will do so easily -- and as I age, I've noted brazen and occasional bouts of shameless.
My wife got used to it a long time ago and has even complimented me on my quips.
A prime example:
A young woman of moderate appearance was trying to get some items in a crowded grocery store. She was much younger than I and clearly the self-conscious sort, appearing shy and rather demure.
As she passed in front of me to get another armful of what she was after, she apologized to me for her passage, to which I responded "You could walk back and forth in front of me all day long and I wouldn't complain."
Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Once she left, my wife said "You probably made her day with that."
Exactly! this is the comfort level all relationships should be at. If they were perhaps we'd have less divorces.
A friend of mine secretly stays in contact with an ex-boyfriend who (among other nasty things) tries to undermine her marriage and outright says he wants to meet up for sex, etc. It infuriates her husband when he finds out that they are still 'friends.' And occasionally it still comes up, because she alternates between secret meetings and just telling her husband the guy has called or emailed or something.
No, there's nothing going on; she's not cheating. But as much as I am the kind of person who endorses being able to have whichever friends of whatever sex, flirting casually, etc, I still think that she is being skeevy and disrespectful.
Me? I flirt, I carouse, I casually touch other people, but I don't think I've ever done anything that I wouldn't do in front of my wife.
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