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Funny that no one has mentioned HIS wife. If she doesn't have a problem with their friendship, then there probably isn't much to worry about or she would have put her foot down about it long ago.
Alot of times the other spouse may have suspicions and just turn a blind eye to it, or are just plain lied to that the relationship is strictly platonic. She may not even know about the relationship if it's lunch dates. Just because they talk on the phone doesn't mean his wife knows who he's talking to.
it might have been odd before, but now i have many [girl]friends that prefer male friends over women because of the cattiness and drama associated with some women.
i think its a more modern experience to vibe more with "the guys" than with women.
i wouldnt be worried. she is married to you right? any other marital issues?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stranded and Lonely
My wife's best friend is a man (is this odd?)
Well actually my wife's best friend is me, but her friend Larry is her best friend she is not married to.
They met at work and became close. They are always talking and emailing. They have incredible chemistry for conversation. I have never seen two people who have so much in common. Larry, her best friend is married also and tells me his wife has many close male friends also. Larry and his wife seem to have a great marriage.
My wife and I have gone out to dinner with Larry and his wife but there is just no chemistry between Larry his wife and I, the chemistry is between my wife and Larry.
Both insist there is no romantic attraction and I have nothing to worry about. I see the joy that hanging out with Larry brings out in my wife and I want her to have her own friends too. So I accept it.
My wife's relationship with Larry is exactly like many woman's close friendship with girl friends. The only difference is Larry- her best friend- is a man.
Alot of times the other spouse may have suspicions and just turn a blind eye to it, or are just plain lied to that the relationship is strictly platonic. She may not even know about the relationship if it's lunch dates. Just because they talk on the phone doesn't mean his wife knows who he's talking to.
Lied to that the relationship is platonic? It's quite possible that the relationship IS strictly platonic, unless you know these people and have details that the OP doesn't. Also, the two couples have gotten together for social events so they've met and interacted. The friendship apparently isn't at all a secret.
Seeing how crazy suspicious and possessive wifeys can be, if she hasn't raised hell about the friendship, then she likely doesn't feel the least bit threatened by it. If she was, OP's wife wouldn't have eyes or a working car.
Lied to that the relationship is platonic? It's quite possible that the relationship IS strictly platonic, unless you know these people and have details that the OP doesn't. Also, the two couples have gotten together for social events so they've met and interacted. The friendship apparently isn't at all a secret.
Seeing how crazy suspicious and possessive wifeys can be, if she hasn't raised hell about the friendship, then she likely doesn't feel the least bit threatened by it. If she was, OP's wife wouldn't have eyes or a working car.
I don't know anymore about these people than you do and what the OP has told us. Like I say, I speak from experience and at one time was told by my ex that his "friendship" was strictly platonic. The OW even emailed me to apologize for not meeting me sooner. She even had the odacity to come to my house to meet me in person and go on to explain this brother/sister relationship she had w/ my then dh. I told him I wasn't comfortable w/ it and he said she was just a close friend and they had set up boundaries to never cross. Through emails, she finally broke down that she was in love w/ him and they had been having an affair for a few years. It started out innocently enough as a friendship, but they fed eachother's ego and found a connection w/ eachother that crossed the line. It happens!!!!
Years ago, and I'm not proud of this. I had a very close male friend that I had been previously intimate with. Even tho he was in a new relationship as I was, we often all four got together for dinner or just a night out. No one knew our little secret, but we were still secretely getting together. I'm just saying, just because the couples have gone out doesn't mean crap. I've lived it, and I'm seeing red flags in OP's wife and her guy friend. He even mentioned their chemistry. That is not good for their marriage.
I don't know anymore about these people than you do and what the OP has told us. Like I say, I speak from experience and at one time was told by my ex that his "friendship" was strictly platonic. The OW even emailed me to apologize for not meeting me sooner. She even had the odacity to come to my house to meet me in person and go on to explain this brother/sister relationship she had w/ my then dh. I told him I wasn't comfortable w/ it and he said she was just a close friend and they had set up boundaries to never cross. Through emails, she finally broke down that she was in love w/ him and they had been having an affair for a few years. It started out innocently enough as a friendship, but they fed eachother's ego and found a connection w/ eachother that crossed the line. It happens!!!!
Years ago, and I'm not proud of this. I had a very close male friend that I had been previously intimate with. Even tho he was in a new relationship as I was, we often all four got together for dinner or just a night out. No one knew our little secret, but we were still secretely getting together. I'm just saying, just because the couples have gone out doesn't mean crap. I've lived it, and I'm seeing red flags in OP's wife and her guy friend. He even mentioned their chemistry. That is not good for their marriage.
Thank you for your honesty
Like I said earlier, once you cross certain boundries in the friendship you are on a slippery slope and often slide right into an affair.
Only people who are very firm with their boundries can make this work, which does happen. It's just risky sometimes.
The general conscious so far is that my wife and her friend Larry are either having a secret sexual affair (or will soon) because there is a conversational chemistry and closeness between them and they are of a different sex. And I and Larry's spouse are in denial.
I showed the postings to my wife and she laughed but could understand the concern because of all the stories in the news about extramarital affairs. (like Tiger Woods). But her and Larry will continue to be very close friends regardless.
I'm female, and married, and at my previous job I became very good friends with a male co-worker who was also married. We'd sometimes get lunch together, and talk about "not so kosher" things at times (personal, sometimes sexual things). Anyhow, there was absolutely no attraction from me to him, and I don't *think* he was too interested either. Honestly, I think he may have found me attractive, but I never felt like he was coming on to me. My husband totally knew I had this friend and there was never any prodding or worries on his part. I've always "meshed" better with men than women, so it wasn't much of a surprise.
All in all, I think it's a case by case situation. I wouldn't worry too much unless you have evidence to worry.
The general conscious so far is that my wife and her friend Larry are either having a secret sexual affair (or will soon) because there is a conversational chemistry and closeness between them and they are of a different sex. And I and Larry's spouse are in denial.
I showed the postings to my wife and she laughed but could understand the concern because of all the stories in the news about extramarital affairs. (like Tiger Woods). But her and Larry will continue to be very close friends regardless.
So why did you bother posting at all? Is this some little game you and your wife enjoy playing?
The general conscious so far is that my wife and her friend Larry are either having a secret sexual affair (or will soon) because there is a conversational chemistry and closeness between them and they are of a different sex. And I and Larry's spouse are in denial.
I showed the postings to my wife and she laughed but could understand the concern because of all the stories in the news about extramarital affairs. (like Tiger Woods). But her and Larry will continue to be very close friends regardless.
You started this thread because you must have been concerned enough to find it odd. When some of us did find it odd, you try to convince yourself otherwise. You showed you wife and she laughed? What would you expect her to do? My ex laughed and denied it too. I too question why you're posting. Whether your wife and Larry are just close friends or not, it's a relationship I myself would not be comfortable w/ my dh having. Remember, it's not always about the outward beauty that always attracts two people to eachother.
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