Are relationships not built on need disposable? - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 6 - City-Data Forum

DennyCrane · 12-15-2009, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKramar

I look at it this way. If you don't NEED me, why would you WANT me?

Maybe because they realized they'd be happier with you than without you.

TKramar · 12-15-2009, 02:04 PM

Then they "need" me to satisfy their need for companionship--if nothing else.

I'd have to think about that answer though, if someone gave it. I'm not sure it's a good answer.

DennyCrane · 12-15-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKramar

Then they "need" me to satisfy their need for companionship--if nothing else.

I'd have to think about that answer though, if someone gave it. I'm not sure it's a good answer.

You're assuming they have a "need" for companionship. There are a lot of people who are perfectly happy being single. They don't have a need for companionship. They just prefer to be in a relationship because they think it'll make them happier than being single would.

TKramar · 12-15-2009, 02:22 PM

Then they'd be happier being single.

Nope, unless they need me for something, there's no reason for them to want me.

DennyCrane · 12-15-2009, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKramar

Then they'd be happier being single.

Nope, unless they need me for something, there's no reason for them to want me.

Why is it so important for you to feel needed?

JBT1980 · 12-15-2009, 02:47 PM

Ive always felt you should never put all 100% of yourself into a relationship you need to save a little just in case it doesnt work out so your not looking to hang yourself from a noose if it doesnt..

fleetiebelle · 12-15-2009, 02:50 PM

I would much rather be wanted than needed. "Out of everyone, I choose you" is a lot more attractive to me than "I can't survive without you."

DennyCrane · 12-15-2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I would much rather be wanted than needed. "Out of everyone, I choose you" is a lot more attractive to me than "I can't survive without you."

Perfectly stated. It's far more flattering to know that someone is with you not because they have to be, but because they want to be. "Need" implies the person has no choice.

TKramar · 12-15-2009, 03:34 PM

"wants" can change easily, flippantly.

"needs" aren't so flippant.

Exclusive, committed relationship is what is being sought. It may be mostly businesslike, but I do share things with my SO's, that I do not want the general public to know. There is that "sharing of confidences" part to it. Some people, when they split with a person, no longer feel a need to keep their confidences hidden.