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I'm going to preface by saying that I feel the situation in the Black Community stems from the fact that we have had a breakdown in the family structure. The runaway father epidemic is very real which is a shame because our daughters are suffering the most because of it. They are missing out on the guidance that a father is supposed to provide them and so many end up having their mind-states molded by the streets. Those who know "the streets" know that it places value in material possessions only therefore many of our daughters end up having a skewed perception on what a Good Man is and does. This is why it may appear to many that there are no good Black Men because the ones (some) Black Women are programmed to like are NO GOOD. There's a perception that we as Black People need to get over which is that education is "white". This thought is causing us as a people to remain stagnant while others embrace the opportunities here and flourish. It's also a reason why Good Black Men can't find a Good Black Women to be with and also the reason why a Good Black Woman cannot find a Good Black Man to be with. We as a whole place value in the material and date each other based on superficial perceptions as opposed to finding someone based on personality and commonality. I'm just rambling but I will conclude by saying that this issue will not be solved overnight and will require a total strengthening of the Black Family as a whole.
This is the past only repeating itself unfortunately. I have to look at this through a historical lens and based on our history, was it not the black man who was not held to be responsible for taking care of his offspring? Not to say that this gives him a legitimate excuse for abandoning his family, but this is what he still practices today and that indicates to me that we still have a slavery mentality, one that will not be changed as you mentioned overnight. To be heavily persuaded by our past practices is detrimental to the future aspects of us having a healthy outlook on our families. I will continue to teach and empower both our males and females on what a black family can and should be when it is in a healthy state of mind.
^^^Tyra had a show that was just like what you described and its suppose to be a fact that Black women are the least desired when it comes to men wanting to date/marry and Black women are the least race of women who are getting married now a days. I don't know what article its in but its stated that Black women are not preferred among men of ANY race.
How can that be when the majority of married black men are married to black women. I swear some people just want to be hateful.
I feel you. But as God, luck, or Life would have it, I am in the privileged position in my line of work to see many Black men go through a deep and often long process of transformation. For some doing time in jail, watching loved ones get killed, or losing the respect of their families and communities is enough to eventually turn them around.
As a Black woman here in Madison, I am often on the receiving end of the assumptions or prejudices that follow when the majority of our tiny population of Black women are either consumed with anger and the need to let the whole world know about it, saddled with children left behind by often more than one "father," or so beaten down and deprived of education and opportunities that they exude a tiredness that often belies their age. It's a challenge to live in a society in which most people are surprised to meet people like myself or anyone who is Black and on the path of success yet willing to give of ourselves to the community. The responses I receive are often positive or encouraging, but every now and then I am met with disbelief and disappointment. I didn't get it at first. But now I understand that there are people in our world--White, Black, Latino, you name it--who do not want to see Black people as human, let alone successful. I wish I had money for every time I have heard someone say to me, "Wow. You're so articulate!" Give me a break. lol. Sadly, on the flip side of that coin, I have also been of the receiving end of teasing or ridicule. I have even lost voice over work because I don't sound "urban" enough. When will we learn?
You sound like a GREAT woman and ANY man should be honored to have you.
I feel you. But as God, luck, or Life would have it, I am in the privileged position in my line of work to see many Black men go through a deep and often long process of transformation. For some doing time in jail, watching loved ones get killed, or losing the respect of their families and communities is enough to eventually turn them around.
As a Black woman here in Madison, I am often on the receiving end of the assumptions or prejudices that follow when the majority of our tiny population of Black women are either consumed with anger and the need to let the whole world know about it, saddled with children left behind by often more than one "father," or so beaten down and deprived of education and opportunities that they exude a tiredness that often belies their age. It's a challenge to live in a society in which most people are surprised to meet people like myself or anyone who is Black and on the path of success yet willing to give of ourselves to the community. The responses I receive are often positive or encouraging, but every now and then I am met with disbelief and disappointment. I didn't get it at first. But now I understand that there are people in our world--White, Black, Latino, you name it--who do not want to see Black people as human, let alone successful. I wish I had money for every time I have heard someone say to me, "Wow. You're so articulate!" Give me a break. lol. Sadly, on the flip side of that coin, I have also been of the receiving end of teasing or ridicule. I have even lost voice over work because I don't sound "urban" enough. When will we learn?
I openly refuse to "act black", since I just don't like this ghetto talk and culture. If other blacks don't like it, so be it. It's just not my personality/value system.
I don't act ghetto or "act black", but i am just being me. Acting ghetto is really contrary to my own value system.
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston
I openly refuse to "act black", since I just don't like this ghetto talk and culture. If other blacks don't like it, so be it. It's just not my personality/value system.
I’m sorry…you keep saying you don't "act" black as if that's an admirable quality but I’m thoroughly confused about how one would “act” black…I can understand how you act like a dog – you bark, you walk on all fours, etc – but I’m not exactly sure how you would “act” black…please explain the parameters of “acting” black…
I’m sorry…you keep saying you don't "act" black as if that's an admirable quality but I’m thoroughly confused about how one would “act” black…I can understand how you act like a dog – you bark, you walk on all fours, etc – but I’m not exactly sure how you would “act” black…please explain the parameters of “acting” black…
Acting in accordance with black culture. The idea of acting black is behaving in and talking in a specific way that I find distasteful.
It's kind of like black people who listen to rock, or don't speak in slang, are deemed not acting black.
I’m sorry…you keep saying you don't "act" black as if that's an admirable quality but I’m thoroughly confused about how one would “act” black…I can understand how you act like a dog – you bark, you walk on all fours, etc – but I’m not exactly sure how you would “act” black…please explain the parameters of “acting” black…
I'd kinda like to see the answer to Ms. Natalays question. How does one "act black?" Wake up in the morning with brown skin? Have a fondness for chicken and watermelon? Like rap? Have 4 babies with 4 different women? Have a long schlong? Only date fat white women? Really! I want you to answer Ms. Natalays question!! Please?
Acting in accordance with black culture. The idea of acting black is behaving in and talking in a specific way that I find distasteful.
It's kind of like black people who listen to rock, or don't speak in slang, are deemed not acting black.
See, this is the other extreme........some people get to the point that anything in black culture embarrasses them. We are not a monolithic people: and we have nothing to be ashamed of culturally. We are some of the most imitated people on the face of the earth and have contirbuted mightily to the culture of this country.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna have some of my Momma's shrimp and grits
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It's just not my personality/value system.
