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I was crying profusely just sending him the text out of fear that he'd never want to see me again. There's no way in hell I'd be able to invite him over to express such feelings in person on a face-to-face basis, which is why I opted to go that less personal route. I'd look like a blithering fool. At least with the texting I was able to phrase the point I wanted to convey more tactfully.
Why were you crying again? Just because some guy said he wasn't interested? Jesus christ, get a grip on yourself. That's ridiculous behavior that certainly isn't warranted by the denial of some closeted guy... if this even happened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denton56
>>>My personal hunch as an auditor?<<<
What does being an auditor have to do with reading people? Do you audit behavior? Most accountants and auditors are not extroverted people who are good at judging people. They're good at numbers, not people. Their experience is with financial records, not observing people and behavior.
As a CPA-- albeit one who was in tax-- I heartily agree. I excelled as an attorney precisely because I am great at using people and understanding them. Nearly every auditor I've encountered would very poorly fit the image of someone able to read/judge/observe others.
Thank you very much for the supportive words. I only hope you're right. At the same time a big fear I have is that if my theory is correct and that he may have turned me down because he's afraid others would learn he was gay if he accepted my advance that he'd be hurt if I found someone else. I can't just put my own life on hold though hoping that he'll come around someday. I've been single for so long now that it's nearly painful.
Lonliness can be such a palpable thing sometimes that it can physically hurt
Do your best to stay busy and with other people, that will help ward off the worst of it most of the time.
And when you don't have anyone around, come back here and make us laugh some more
I was crying profusely just sending him the text out of fear that he'd never want to see me again. There's no way in hell I'd be able to invite him over to express such feelings in person on a face-to-face basis, which is why I opted to go that less personal route. I'd look like a blithering fool. At least with the texting I was able to phrase the point I wanted to convey more tactfully.
By "make your moves" do you mean sexually pressure him? He's not a lightweight like I am. Less than a bottle of Merlot and I was passed with my face planted firmly against my bathrug. It will be tough to get him tipsy. The Spring would be the best chance of this. I invited him out with us to go for another tour to the NoVA wine country. I can offer to give him a ride as a DD and then, when going to drop him off, suggest we play the Wii and crack open a bottle each of our haul.
It's also a total turnoff for a man to be "crying profusely". Yuck. Man up and knock off that crap. Real men, gay and straight, aren't sobbing all the time. No one over 5 is doing that.
The guy has told you he's not interested. Believe him. The reason does not matter. He's not interested. Period. If you continue to push, he will run further and faster. You will lose any potential friendship. Desperation is a turnoff. He's not interested.
Why were you crying again? Just because some guy said he wasn't interested? Jesus christ, get a grip on yourself. That's ridiculous behavior that certainly isn't warranted by the denial of some closeted guy... if this even happened.
As a CPA-- albeit one who was in tax-- I heartily agree. I excelled as an attorney precisely because I am great at using people and understanding them. Nearly every auditor I've encountered would very poorly fit the image of someone able to read/judge/observe others.
BINGO!!! I have a background in social work and counseling, for the same reason that you are an attorney. I have excellent gaydar too!
OP please follow your own advice and don't waste your time trying to figure out if this guy is gay or not. Ignore the haters who are giving you a hard time about the drunk and crying episodes. I still think like my initial post that this guy is an attention ***** but it is up to you who you want to keep in your circle of friends. I don't think this guy is worth a cent but that's just me. I'm not a psychologist, a lawyer or CPA but I know many idiots like him because I have been surrounded by gay men all my life and my gaydar is most of the time accurate.
it's a little harsh to be calling the other guy an "idiot", don't you think ?
he didn't really do much in this scenario.
SB was the one doing the chasing, and he perceived "guy #2's" attention as flirting.
he was the one who was projecting his hopes, and pinning them on the "idiot". reading too much into the situation.
while SB is a good storyteller, i agree with many of the other posters that his actions reek of desperation.
yes, they could be perceived as "sweet, or romantic", however, if you look at it from a different angle, they can also be seen as "creepy"
it would seem to me that "guy #2" is a pretty innocent bystander in this case.
ok, he might be in the closet, or confused, but from reading the thread, i don't see that he did anything to lead SB on.
BTW, SB, not to flame you, just curious. you describe yourself in one post as "100%" gay.
then you later admit to the idea of being tempted by the idea of a threesome with a woman.
now, as a "100%" straight guy, i wouldn't entertain it if a female partner wanted to introduce another man to our sexual activities.
any of the "100%" gay people i know would probably not dream of it either.
as i say, not flaming, or hating on you, just curious.
i don't know if there are different "rules ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ♥♥PRINC3Ss♥♥
OP please follow your own advice and don't waste your time trying to figure out if this guy is gay or not. Ignore the haters who are giving you a hard time about the drunk and crying episodes. I still think like my initial post that this guy is an attention ***** but it is up to you who you want to keep in your circle of friends. I don't think this guy is worth a cent but that's just me. I'm not a psychologist, a lawyer or CPA but I know many idiots like him because I have been surrounded by gay men all my life and my gaydar is most of the time accurate.
I think you went about all wrong. Don't talk about it, just make your move.
Of course he turned you down... he doesn't want to say or type out he likes a dude, but if you would have made your move in your late night movie "dates" you would have had a truer response.
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