How to keep a conversation going?

[Tkt]

cuinlalaland, thank you for the very large response

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Funny, I never imagined I would make a reappearance on this forum in a thread about conversations, huh...

Maybe, but it sure was a great reappearance

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Starting Conversations

With a Stranger
You can start a conversation with someone you don't know either formally or informally.
Formally is where you walk up to them and introduce yourself.
Informally is where you direct a comment or question to the other person. A good example is if you're standing in line, catch their eye and ask: "What do you think of this Tiger Woods thing?"

I've already tried asking that kind of question to someone I didn't know, but the guy looked at me like if I had just kicked him or something.

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Some people will brush you off. Others will respond. If they ignore you it has nothing to do with you, maybe they have a lot on their mind, or they're just unfriendly people. The reality is the vast majority of people will respond if you're casual and relaxed.

Whenever someone brushes me off, even if it has nothing to do with me, the fact that I don't know, makes me nervous, and I start obsessing about every little default, or start rethinking every word, to think of a better way I could have said it. Or simply wanting that I had never spoken to him ...

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Keeping Conversations Going
As several posters have already mentioned, this is not something you can do on your own. A conversation is an inter-action. Sometimes you click with someone and you both can talk and listen to each other for hours. With other people nothing happens. Still others you'll be wishing they'd just shut up and get lost so you can talk to someone else!

The thing is, even with people I sometimes spoke to for hours, after some time, conversation goes dead, and none of us have anything left to say. Anf from that point on, we kind of drift apart. This happens very often! Right now in fact, with a friend at school. Even though we spoke a lot during the first 2-3 months, this week, we've said almost nothing to each other, even though we were together for 1-2 hours each day.

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

Above all, if you want the conversation to keep going, then don't worry about trying to keep it going. It either will or it won't and if it doesn't just move on to someone else. There's no magic turn of phrase or perfect question that makes a conversation work.

If I had to move on every time conversation didn't work, I'd get nowhere ...

Originally Posted by cuinlalaland

OK I could probably go on and on about this topic so I better just shut up now and let you respond...seeing as we're having a conversation here

Well whatever you have to say that is interesting, I'll be happy to hear it

[Trimac20]

Sometimes, tkt, the art of conversation is not talking about something that is interesting, but making the boring interesting .

It just has to do with common interests.

You can also be great friends with someone and not necessarily spend hours just yakking away over nothing/something. Some friends just do more stuff together, or appreciate each other for different reasons.

Talking to strangers seems tough/pointless these days, but you never know...you don't really have anything to lose, so if you see someone interesting, try to strike up a convo as naturally as possible. You'd be surprised, some people seem shy but are actually open to conversing with a stranger.