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Every couple is different. Personally, I am very glad not to have gotten married at your age, as I wasn't done growing yet as a person. And if you were my friend in real life, I would neither encourage nor discourage you on this matter. I suppose that I would only offer you a simple "good luck mate" once and never talk to you again about your impending nuptials. And if invited to be part of the bridal party, I'd decline.
There's a young woman that I work with that just got engaged. She pushed for the engagement. She just graduated from teaching school, her fiance doesn't make very much money. She doesn't approve of his spending habits. They bought a car from his cousin a few months ago, had to dump a lot of money into it, but then something else broke on the car so it just sits in their driveway still registered. She insists that it's the alternator but they can't afford a mechanic. I think that it's the main relay or ignitor coil (my boyfriend agrees wth me!)... but really, if this young couple can't handle owning a used Accord, they aren't ready for marriage. She's 22 or 23 years old and he's her first steady boyfriend.
Personally I think it's a huge mistake, and the statistics support me on this one. Young marriages are the most likely to end in divorce with an 80% failure rate.
If you choose to go through with it at the very minimum get a prenup and make sure one of the provisions are mandatory paternity testing. Mark my words, at your ages you'll both be feeling the grass is greener syndrome and women in fact get knocked up by men outside the relationship quite regularly. Up to 30% these days in the US & UK.
I think asking her for marriage clearly defines your intentions.
If she's happy with it, then it sounds very hopeful.
Good for you two that you want to finish college. I think that is a worthwhile goal and self pre-requisite to building your future together. Just don't have kids until you're settled and have a firmly agreed plan for it.
Other than that, I suggest you two enjoy each other, and learn to find ways to express your feelings, and even learn how to disagree and make compromises.
I suggest you read "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Glover for yourself, and "Sheet Music" by Lehman if your both of a Christian faith. If not so religious, the book still have a good foundation to converse about sex within your relationship.
Yes, you're too young, and yes, it's crazy, but you're waiting to jump into it! Waiting those two years is the best decision you two could EVER make. Good job!
During that time you'll have a chance to see every side of each other, and determine if it's really going to work. Jumping into being engaged and married is what gets people into trouble. You sound like you're doing things right.
that's a sure fire way to build a long, healthy relationship built on love, trust, and honour.
why don't you just get her a chastity belt too ?
waffles, don't take any of this stuff too seriously.
yes, people can change, but people can also STOP themselves changing.
you are both young, and may have a lot to learn, mariage IS hard, maybe harder than folk think, but that doesn't mean things are doomed.
have a good look around this place, and you'll see loads of posts which will give you some ideas on how, and how NOT to have a healthy relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
Personally I think it's a huge mistake, and the statistics support me on this one. Young marriages are the most likely to end in divorce with an 80% failure rate.
If you choose to go through with it at the very minimum get a prenup and make sure one of the provisions are mandatory paternity testing. Mark my words, at your ages you'll both be feeling the grass is greener syndrome and women in fact get knocked up by men outside the relationship quite regularly. Up to 30% these days in the US & UK.
Yep no kids on the way atleast till we've been settled for quite some time, that means solid career and a house of our own. We've been living together for 2 years (in my parents house!), i've also been working with her everyday for the last year and if that didnt kill it I dont know what will. Shes had a few long term relationships, and has been engaged before but it wasnt what she was looking for, and the same goes for me as well. Im not asking others what I should do, we are doing what we feel is right. Im just curious is all of other peoples view points lol. I know im young and I know shes young but when we look at the time lines of our lives, we know that we are both ready to make this commitment and we know exactly what we are looking for in our future together. We've both been through more in our seperate lives then I care to mention and weve both come so far since then.
And as for the honda accord deal and not being able to handle that. I've had more car trouble this year from blown motors, electrical nightmares to seized rear ends (i drive for a living), car trouble isnt a problem for either of us, neither is rent. We're both here for eachother when problems arise we help eachother out and dont fight about it.
Every couple is different. Personally, I am very glad not to have gotten married at your age, as I wasn't done growing yet as a person. And if you were my friend in real life, I would neither encourage nor discourage you on this matter. I suppose that I would only offer you a simple "good luck mate" once and never talk to you again about your impending nuptials. And if invited to be part of the bridal party, I'd decline.
There's a young woman that I work with that just got engaged. She pushed for the engagement. She just graduated from teaching school, her fiance doesn't make very much money. She doesn't approve of his spending habits. They bought a car from his cousin a few months ago, had to dump a lot of money into it, but then something else broke on the car so it just sits in their driveway still registered. She insists that it's the alternator but they can't afford a mechanic. I think that it's the main relay or ignitor coil (my boyfriend agrees wth me!)... but really, if this young couple can't handle owning a used Accord, they aren't ready for marriage. She's 22 or 23 years old and he's her first steady boyfriend.
I swear there should be a rule that you can't get married until both parties are 25 and older. This would eliminate at least 20 percent of the divorce rate.
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