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I have decided that in order to not go absolutely crazy, I’m converting to the way that my SO thinks. I’ve heard him say, “As long as (my name goes here) doesn’t find out, I’m game, or I’ll go along with that.”, and “If it’s a pretty girl involved, I’ll volunteer.” He has said “As long as I’m home every night, I can do whatever I want while she is working as long as (my name goes here) doesn’t find out.”
I have put up with this for seven years and I’ve left him four times just to have him talk me into coming back. So, the only way to get through this is to say, “I can do and act as if I’m single as long as (his name goes here) doesn’t find out and I’m home every night.
There is no trust, no discussion between us, no nothing. All we have in common is that we both like the same things on TV. Great. Whenever I try to talk things out, he just gets angry and so I shut up. But yet, when I say, “Let’s split up”, he says that he can’t live without me. Geesh. He tells me that he loves me and that I’m the apple of his eye, but I just don’t feel it.
Emotional blackmail is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
As long as you're willing to put up with it do you think he'll change? Then again, perhaps this is what you want if, along with sharing TV tastes you also share his lack of fidelity and his hedonism.
You need to get out of that relationship. If you have kids you need to get out of the relationship anyway. Thats no way for someone to be treated and if the kids see it they will think that is okay behavior.
I have decided that in order to not go absolutely crazy, I’m converting to the way that my SO thinks. I’ve heard him say, “As long as (my name goes here) doesn’t find out, I’m game, or I’ll go along with that.”, and “If it’s a pretty girl involved, I’ll volunteer.” He has said “As long as I’m home every night, I can do whatever I want while she is working as long as (my name goes here) doesn’t find out.”
I have put up with this for seven years and I’ve left him four times just to have him talk me into coming back. So, the only way to get through this is to say, “I can do and act as if I’m single as long as (his name goes here) doesn’t find out and I’m home every night.
There is no trust, no discussion between us, no nothing. All we have in common is that we both like the same things on TV. Great. Whenever I try to talk things out, he just gets angry and so I shut up. But yet, when I say, “Let’s split up”, he says that he can’t live without me. Geesh. He tells me that he loves me and that I’m the apple of his eye, but I just don’t feel it.
Breaks my heart to read this. You're negotiating reasons to stay, by reducing yourself to his level, when you should walk and stay gone. I know it is easier said than done, but I pray you find the strength sooner than later.
Don't put up with that b/s. That is no way to live, it is a **** poor example for your children. It might hurt for a short while, but in the long run would be far better off.
Emotional blackmail is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
As long as you're willing to put up with it do you think he'll change? Then again, perhaps this is what you want if, along with sharing TV tastes you also share his lack of fidelity and his hedonism.
You are right. I'm not stepping down to his level.
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