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Old 12-15-2009, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Denver Metro
1,549 posts, read 2,577,170 times
Reputation: 1131

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
My point too (unless the child was torturing or killing small animals - pretty much a sign of a troubled child).
My friend microwaved her hamster when she was a little girl. Thought he was cold and wanted to warm him up. It didn't end well..
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,428,182 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRiss7383 View Post
My friend microwaved her hamster when she was a little girl. Thought he was cold and wanted to warm him up. It didn't end well..
Well, that kind of situation doesn't count - there was no intent to hurt the animal

I bathed newborn kittens when I was about 9 because I noticed some fleas on them and thought I should wash them off. Sadly, all the kittens died within hours from "exposure" and low body temps. I cried and cried, it was awful!
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:22 PM
 
17 posts, read 27,163 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
Based on what you've heard, I would proceed with caution. Speak to your fiancee about these incidents, as well as her other relatives and her friends. Listen carefully when they tell stories about her that make you uncomfortable.
This is the only talk so far which is enough to make me rethink about marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
How has she dealt with you or with others when she's upset? Is she ever intentionally cruel to others? Listen carefully when she talks about how she deals with people she doesn't like or stressful situations.
Honestly I hardly ever seen her angry before nor fight with someone. I met her as a quiet, reserve good-natured woman with some sense of humor though she doesn't smile that much, not when we're taking pictures.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
Although she may be putting on a good front, in two years' time, I think the "real" her probably slips out occasionally. Just be watchful and keep your ears open. Don't excuse any worrisome behavior as "just one of those things." People rarely change. If she behaved that way before, whatever prompted the behavior is probably still there. She may be able to keep anti-social behaviors to a minimum when everything is going well, or to achieve a goal, i.e., marrying you . However, under stress (and marriage is full of them), you may see a side of her that you'd wish you didn't know.
I'll keep that in mind when speaking to her about it. She's quiet by nature but it would be shocking if that was only a mask to her real self.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie1249 View Post
If you continue to feel uncomfortable, I would postpone the wedding. This is too big a step for you to take without feeling 100% sure that you're doing the right thing.
This would depend on how she proceeds on answering all my questions and after gathering all the information if I can proceed with the marriage.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:24 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,993 posts, read 8,904,984 times
Reputation: 8105
i consider myself a decent guy, but i went through a phase when i was a child where if i saw a snail, i had to stand on it. i hated bees, and would find ways to torture them.
i used to feel compelled to knock the heads off flowers, stuff like that.

it's not something i'm proud of, and i'm sure if karma hasn't paid me back already, it will soon.

however, this phase lasted for about a month.
i love animals, and flowers, and, for the life of me, i have no idea why i would do such a thing ?

children are incredibly complex creatures. i'm glad i'm not one any more !!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
My point too (unless the child was torturing or killing small animals - pretty much a sign of a troubled child).
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:26 PM
 
17 posts, read 27,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
Get her side and follow your gut instincts. Have there been ANY red flags in your time with her to suggest she has anger management issues??
No she's quiet by nature and never seen act out in anger. Before the aunt told me the story, I thought she's the perfect one who never shows anger nor gets easily frustrated at all.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,428,182 times
Reputation: 40197
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToddRess View Post
No she's quiet by nature and never seen act out in anger. Before the aunt told me the story, I thought she's the perfect one who never shows anger nor gets easily frustrated at all.
Well, then it sounds to me like there is a logical explanation somewhere for this and you would be overreacting to drop her just based on a 3rd party story.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:28 PM
 
3,762 posts, read 5,403,515 times
Reputation: 4832
Quote:
Originally Posted by ToddRess View Post
I do trust. Just that I'm still shocked by the story. This is what I'll do several minutes from now: get the phone, call her and tell her all the details. If she denies them all then I'll just have to trust her and portrait the aunt as a composite liar.
You should have asked her right away. Make sure you have a handy excuse ready for when she asks you why you didn't.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:32 PM
 
17 posts, read 27,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trishguard View Post
You should have asked her right away. Make sure you have a handy excuse ready for when she asks you why you didn't.
I did wanted to but I was too shock to think straight. Anyone that heard that type of story about the person they are going to marry would have been spook out too. If she ask me why I delay it I would say that I didn't think it was too important but do now want to share it with her.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:36 PM
 
17 posts, read 27,163 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
i consider myself a decent guy, but i went through a phase when i was a child where if i saw a snail, i had to stand on it. i hated bees, and would find ways to torture them.
i used to feel compelled to knock the heads off flowers, stuff like that.

it's not something i'm proud of, and i'm sure if karma hasn't paid me back already, it will soon.

however, this phase lasted for about a month.
i love animals, and flowers, and, for the life of me, i have no idea why i would do such a thing ?

children are incredibly complex creatures. i'm glad i'm not one any more !!
I'm glad to hear you changed into a better person now. Those that don't change are the ones to watch out for. I don't really like bees that much, they're hairy and disgusting looking but the good part is the honey we receive from them. Now honey is good.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:40 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,993 posts, read 8,904,984 times
Reputation: 8105
maybe your fiancee changed too ?

maybe she just didn't like pigeons very much ?

just don't do anything rash.

act slowly, and calmly, and keep an open mind.

good luck.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToddRess View Post
I'm glad to hear you changed into a better person now. Those that don't change are the ones to watch out for. I don't really like bees that much, they're hairy and disgusting looking but the good part is the honey we receive from them. Now honey is good.
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