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Old 12-19-2009, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Chicago
313 posts, read 406,611 times
Reputation: 131

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Quote:
Originally Posted by itshim View Post
As a BM just to chime in, this is a more of a half truth than it is a reality. In the black community it is somewhat of a negative taboo to marry interracially--particularly with anyone white. This is less of any issue for other groups, especially when it comes to Latinos such as Puerto Ricans or Dominicans. People within our community rarely view this as something anagalous as anything stereotypically "interracial."

Maybe it is this way in your community, but not in black communities as a whole.

But my overall point is, is that there is pretty much pressure around the board for both sexes to marry within the race. Despite what some might say on here, BM in particular are bombarded with the message that dating interracially is "selling out" "implying disdain for your mother" as well as your "community" and buying into "Eurocentrism" and the "white standard of beauty." Not to mention the legacy of serial lynching , Jim Crow and Emmit Til. These are all social mechanisms to keep you at bay that are taught to you from day one either directly from family members or popular culture in movies, books, stories etc. And suffice to say, most BM that I know who will not interracially date will regurgitate one of these very reasons.

Now personally, growing up, I have never heard of anyone in the black community pressuring black women to date and marry within their race for the reasons listed above (excpetion being that idea of slaves being raped.) However, I do believe that an IR couple that does include a BW would endorse some pretty funny looks by virtue of the different culutres and races meshing, but there isn't a negative stigma attached in the same fashion as the reverse imo.
Well, many IR couples that are BW/WM never see any funny looks, or have any comments made towards them etc...

 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:26 PM
 
233 posts, read 743,825 times
Reputation: 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I think you are over generalizing black chicks. You make it sound like most black chicks are rocking the "Ghetto fabulous" thing.

I've dealt plenty of educated and smart black women through work.

It's almost like saying most of the whites down in the south live in trailers and wear wife beaters. True, yes it does exist, but is it the majority.

I don't think so.
This is my own assessment along with the many white friends I have. I would say we have interacted with hundreds of black girls in the southern california area from many different socioeconomic levels. This is just our assesement. It might be different in other parts of the country. Every black girl I meet does not live in the stereotypical areas such as compton south L.A. etc. by the way. This is not the case for most of the ones I meet.

Read my post again. It is very hard to find a black girl with all the attributes I described above. Maybe southern california doesn't have a big enough black population?

What is also funny is that my male black friends say the exact same thing as me.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:27 PM
 
994 posts, read 1,540,052 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by macjr82 View Post
Your comment about aggressiveness reminded me of this article someone posted recently.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/05/ny...ty/05chas.html

Anyways. I noticed when I lived in NoVa, you were more likely to see a black women with white men, (and black men with white women for that matter) than a black/black relationship. I'm not sure if this contributed to it or not, but I also noticed that the majority of black women in the area were of a body style typically found in white women, and white women were of a body style typically found in black women where I'm originally from down south.
Very interesting! I've observed that many black men who date/marry white women are with ones who fit no mainstream model of attractiveness in many cases, whereas when I see white men with black women, the women are typically rather attractive - maybe not models but certainly not homely.

I know this was a very non-PC statement, but it is just something I see routinely where I live.


More directly, are American white men just not as direct when it comes to approaching women? Or are they uncomfortable, less forthcoming with non-white women?

Last edited by hautemomma; 12-19-2009 at 02:30 PM.. Reason: extra thoughts
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:28 PM
 
994 posts, read 1,540,052 times
Reputation: 1225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra View Post
Hi hautemomma, originally I answered your question but why are you quoting information that most Americans know or are familiar with? Is this an attempt to start a flame post on black women in the US? I'm not attacking I'm just wondering. Because it seems like we're steering off topic now.

signed,
a confused black woman??
No intent at all. I just threw that out there.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,026,589 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyKid View Post
This is my own assessment along with the many white friends I have. I would say we have interacted with hundreds of black girls in the southern california area from many different socioeconomic levels. This is just our assesement. It might be different in other parts of the country. Every black girl I meet does not live in the stereotypical areas such as compton south L.A. etc. by the way. This is not the case for most of the ones I meet.

Read my post again. It is very hard to find a black girl with all the attributes I described above. Maybe southern california doesn't have a big enough black population?

What is also funny is that my male black friends say the exact same thing as me.
MonkeyKid, black girls who have the aforementioned attributes DO exist. You probably just can't find us because the media LOVE LOVE LOVES the fat, loud, angry, ghetto, welfare baby mama stereotype. You see it everywhere:
movies (Precious, Norbit, Big Momma's House, etc.) TV (especially REALITY tv: Flavor Flav, I Love New York, The Real World, The Bad Girls Club, The Real Housewives of Atlanta), rap songs,

You won't find a reserved, friendly, soft-spoken, elementary school-teaching, opera-singing, black woman type like myself out there because a woman like me wouldn't give them good press. Sometimes you can't win, you're damned if you do & damned if you don't. But anyways, that's just my 2 cents! Happy Saturday!!
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,026,589 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by hautemomma View Post
No intent at all. I just threw that out there.
Cool, I was just wondering I don't want posters to come in here & attack people that already post in this forum.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:31 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,805,141 times
Reputation: 2308
I'm a white male and pretty much only white females "do it" for me. There are some women who are mixed that I find appealing but they are few and far between.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:32 PM
 
Location: 20 years from now
6,454 posts, read 7,007,212 times
Reputation: 4663
Quote:
Originally Posted by hautemomma View Post
Very interesting! I've observed that many black men who date/marry white women are with ones who fit no mainstream model of attractiveness in many cases, whereas when I see white men with black women, the women are typically rather attractive - maybe not models but certainly not homely.

I know this was a very non-PC statement, but it is just something I see routinely where I live.


More directly, are American white men just not as direct when it comes to approaching women? Or are they uncomfortable, less forthcoming with non-white women?
I disagree with the later. Generally the BW is 10 decibles above in attractiveness to the WM.

Interestingly enough, many of the WM that have responded are saying that they are just not "interested", yet many of the BW are telling them that they have been socialized not to be interested. It's funny the lengths that some will go through in these types of debates.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,026,589 times
Reputation: 2304
& just to add another answer to my original quote. Why do people care if a certain group of men are attracted to you or not, it's like another poster said: if you are good-looking, then you will cross all boundaries.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 02:34 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,197 posts, read 52,629,348 times
Reputation: 52693
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyKid View Post
This is my own assessment along with the many white friends I have. I would say we have interacted with hundreds of black girls in the southern california area from many different socioeconomic levels. This is just our assesement. It might be different in other parts of the country. Every black girl I meet does not live in the stereotypical areas such as compton south L.A. etc. by the way. This is not the case for most of the ones I meet.

Read my post again. It is very hard to find a black girl with all the attributes I described above. Maybe southern california doesn't have a big enough black population?

What is also funny is that my male black friends say the exact same thing as me.
I live in So Cal. So I'm familiar with the area.

I guess our perceptions are gonna vary.
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