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Old 12-19-2009, 12:57 PM
 
994 posts, read 1,540,812 times
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I am a married black woman - married to a fine, sexy, intelligent, hardworking black man.

However, I work in a very corporate environment, live in a predominantly white neighborhood and am the only or among the few black people in certain settings I regularly frequent.

In general, I am not particularly attracted to white men. However, I am beginning to pick up on vibes that suggest that a good number of white men I encounter on the job or at the gym are interested in, curious about or attracted to me. A complication is that I will entertain such men in what I perceive as innocuous, innocent conversation, only to retell an account of it to my husband or friends, and they say, "He was trying to hit on you!" or "He must want 'some.'" Or something to that effect.

It is very easy for me to tell when a black man is interested in me or has an attraction. Perhaps it is a familiarity with certain cultural cues; however, black men, in general, seem more up front than white men, who seem to have more of an indirect, round-about way of expressing themselves in these terms.

I am wondering . . . are many white men really attracted to black women? It certainly isn't something you see much of or hear much about. It's okay to openly lust after the blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman but not so much after the caramel-colored, full-lips, curvy black woman with high cheekbones and long dreadlocks, you know?

Any thoughts here? I am rambling now!

 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:05 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,258 posts, read 52,668,250 times
Reputation: 52768
I think more and more white and other men are starting to become interested in black females. I think that black women and starting to become in positions of power and in general seem to be doing better in society.

I think to some degree the media is now starting to show black and other non-whites in more of a positive way. Maybe its just me, not doing any kind of "study" LOL.

In some ways it seems "cool" to be black.

BTW, I've been noticing the black ladies alot myself. I'm in a relationship so nothing would come of it though.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:07 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,379 posts, read 60,561,367 times
Reputation: 60995
Some are, some aren't. The same good be turned around and asked "are some black men atttracted to white women", "are some black women attracted to white men", or "are some white women atracted to black men". I'm tired now.


I do think there may be a stigma attached that keeps black women from considering white men. Most of my coworkers are black and one in particular has had a rough decade plus for dating (have my own opinions on why) so I always tease her about having to widen her net to include us white guys. She used to get the funniest look on her face and say "I could never do that". She's changed that in the last couple years.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:13 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,258 posts, read 52,668,250 times
Reputation: 52768
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Some are, some aren't. The same good be turned around and asked "are some black men atttracted to white women", "are some black women attracted to white men", or "are some white women atracted to black men". I'm tired now.


I do think there may be a stigma attached that keeps black women from considering white men. Most of my coworkers are black and one in particular has had a rough decade plus for dating (have my own opinions on why) so I always tease her about having to widen her net to include us white guys. She used to get the funniest look on her face and say "I could never do that". She's changed that in the last couple years.
I think for some reason black chicks seem to be more "loyal" to black men, for lack of a better term.

No offense to black folks, but I think in some ways there is more pressure for black females to avoid white guys, mainly family pressure. I know it exists on the white side as well.

I know this might sound stupid, but what about the whole power dynamic back in the day when the white slave owners would rape the women. Maybe I'm way off base here, but maybe there is something buried deep down about this sort of dynamic between white men and black women.
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:16 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 9,250,688 times
Reputation: 2753
Some are and have even written songs about it. Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top) is one that comes to mind.LOL..... I have been over this for awhile in the music forum and the original, which is almost 40 years old is not posted on You Tube. This is a cover guitarist doing a amp test to give you a vibe of the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MrP_1U7KRQ

Last edited by 2RUGGED4YOU; 12-19-2009 at 01:40 PM..
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:37 PM
 
5,879 posts, read 9,250,688 times
Reputation: 2753
I am not supposed to post too many lyrics but here are the first few. At the start of the song while playing the slow Blues part. ZZ TOP "BROWN SUGAR" Lyrics

Last edited by 2RUGGED4YOU; 12-19-2009 at 01:45 PM..
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:40 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 59,011,429 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by hautemomma View Post
I am a married black woman - married to a fine, sexy, intelligent, hardworking black man.

However, I work in a very corporate environment, live in a predominantly white neighborhood and am the only or among the few black people in certain settings I regularly frequent.

In general, I am not particularly attracted to white men. However, I am beginning to pick up on vibes that suggest that a good number of white men I encounter on the job or at the gym are interested in, curious about or attracted to me. A complication is that I will entertain such men in what I perceive as innocuous, innocent conversation, only to retell an account of it to my husband or friends, and they say, "He was trying to hit on you!" or "He must want 'some.'" Or something to that effect.

It is very easy for me to tell when a black man is interested in me or has an attraction. Perhaps it is a familiarity with certain cultural cues; however, black men, in general, seem more up front than white men, who seem to have more of an indirect, round-about way of expressing themselves in these terms.

I am wondering . . . are many white men really attracted to black women? It certainly isn't something you see much of or hear much about. It's okay to openly lust after the blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman but not so much after the caramel-colored, full-lips, curvy black woman with high cheekbones and long dreadlocks, you know?

Any thoughts here? I am rambling now!


Only for a fetish or to have sex
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,028,976 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by hautemomma View Post
I am a married black woman - married to a fine, sexy, intelligent, hardworking black man.

However, I work in a very corporate environment, live in a predominantly white neighborhood and am the only or among the few black people in certain settings I regularly frequent.

In general, I am not particularly attracted to white men. However, I am beginning to pick up on vibes that suggest that a good number of white men I encounter on the job or at the gym are interested in, curious about or attracted to me. A complication is that I will entertain such men in what I perceive as innocuous, innocent conversation, only to retell an account of it to my husband or friends, and they say, "He was trying to hit on you!" or "He must want 'some.'" Or something to that effect.

It is very easy for me to tell when a black man is interested in me or has an attraction. Perhaps it is a familiarity with certain cultural cues; however, black men, in general, seem more up front than white men, who seem to have more of an indirect, round-about way of expressing themselves in these terms.

I am wondering . . . are many white men really attracted to black women? It certainly isn't something you see much of or hear much about. It's okay to openly lust after the blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman but not so much after the caramel-colored, full-lips, curvy black woman with high cheekbones and long dreadlocks, you know?

Any thoughts here? I am rambling now!
I think so. I'm 21 & a senior in college & in my 4yrs here, I've noticed that the white boys do look at the black chicks. However, because my university is Christian & conservative, it is very much a "look but don't touch/forbidden fruit" type of thing.

I think that black women would have a much easier time dating if they opened up their options not only to white men but to ALL men. Race should never be a deciding factor. If the man has a kind heart, loves, & respects you, then should it matter if he's black, white, Latino, or Asian? No. Life is too short for people to be making judgments on people based off the color of their skin.

I have also noticed that when white men do date black women, they tend to go out for the darker-toned sistas. Of course, this isn't ALL the time nor is it ALL white guys but just an example: my older sister dated a white guy for a long time (2 yrs) but they broke up because the relationship became long-distance. But yes, I believe that white men are attracted to black women. Why wouldn't they be? We're sexy!
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:41 PM
 
994 posts, read 1,540,812 times
Reputation: 1225
Chowhound,

You are certainly onto something - the slavery dynamic keeps many black women at bay, especially those who are educated and well-informed about history and current events. I've even had black girlfriends say they can't be with white men because "it's like slavery" or "akin to being raped like a slave." So, yes, that is a very deep, but seldom discussed, thread.

I automatically assume that most white men are not into black women, so they are off my radar almost completely, so to speak. Perhaps that is why I don't pick up on their come-ons or pick-up lines when I otherwise would spot them if they were coming from the mouths of black men.

As an aside, I was in a one-on-one meeting with a white guy at work. He is in his early 50s, married with several kids. Whenever I would see him, he would tend to avert his eyes, very quickly speak or not speak at all to me. But in our meeting, we were discussing a project and then he got all weird, looked me in the eyes and said, "I have to say something. Please excuse me. But you are one of the most gorgeous women around. I mean, that is what I think every time I see you."

A few weeks after that, I saw him in one of the kitchens in the building and he dropped his coffee cup!

So, do white guys really find the blonde, blue-eyed "girl next door type" as an ideal or are they conditioned to believe it is? I believe many white men do find black women all across the board - from Halle Berry to Kenya Moore to many looks in between totally interesting, if not attractive.

For the sake of self-disclosure, years ago, I dated white guys. I think Harry Connick Jr. is hot, but I find black men most beautiful of all. In fact, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice for me!
 
Old 12-19-2009, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,028,976 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by TVandSportsGuy View Post
Only for a fetish or to have sex
You'll find that this transcends all races of men & women (for that matter). I dated a Hispanic guy & an Indian guy. The Hispanic guy def. had a fetish, he kept saying how he loved my feet & that my skin was so dark & chocolatey...it was weird to say the least...

I think that whenever people date outside of their race, they should consider (not at 1st) if the potential partner has "jungle fever" (in this case) or if it's for real. But don't be paranoid LOL!!
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