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Because I see threads started by and I know guys in real life who fall prey to these mistakes that I detailed and it is maddening.
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Agreed, it can be agravating, especially if they come across as being whinny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwonderwhy2124
But, I have hobbies and friends and I do get out and do things. I am confident in who I am and I have seen what it takes to capture a woman's attention. I see what they like and what they respond to. And, if I need to raise my tone at these clueless "Nice Guys" to snap them out of their stupid ways, then I will do so. They need it.
Good advice. But I don't think that they can just snap out of it until they figure this out on their own: that it's the behavior you describe in the first sentence is what gets them to that place of confidence, then the women issue takes care of itself or at least becomes less of an immediate concern. So many young adults need to figure out that it isn't something or someone "out there" that will change them.
It is simple, do not let a woman walk all over you and she wont.
Yes that was the simplest statement ever. Too bad, some guys have to go over every single statement stated on books about relationships with us women or come asking the same thing over and over. What exactly do they do on their spare time, worry about how to act and said, making a big deal about it like we were some kind of aliens??
In the end no book can tell you how to act. You can grasp some concepts but in practice, you would have to applied your own experience and go on from there......just be you, act like whatever and proceed not worrying about following every rules the book said or if you have skip the order. If a break up happens then leave it as the past and learn from your mistakes rather than lamenting how unfair they were to you. This means that either it wasn't meant to be a lasting relationship or both of you weren't compatible for the other.
Because I see threads started by and I know guys in real life who fall prey to these mistakes that I detailed and it is maddening.
Perhaps it would be better to respond to those threads instead of starting a new one. Personally, I don't offer advice to people if they haven't solicited it first. Your original post, though it may have been intended in a good way, comes off as condescending and arrogant, at least that's how I read it. It almost sounds like you think these nice guys are pathetic losers and you're the one who has all the answers to their troubles. There are a lot of nice guys out there who fit the stereotype you described. But the advice you gave is nothing they probably haven't heard already. So what's to be gained by being the 1000th person to offer it other than for you to get it off your chest?
Above all else, woman want a man who thinks she is the most beautiful, most interesting person in the world.
If a man said the same thing on this site, he'd be pilloried mercilessly and shamed. Likely his comment would be ultimately deleted.
Instead, most men, but "nice guys" in particular, are suppose to be so accepting of all the common faults women have or settle for being alone. Only those men (the 8 to 15%) who are in demand, will get a pass for this. Then the knives come out and its "she doesn't deserve him."
This paradigm is finally being seriously questioned by the remainder of men and most women, don't like the result of this. Its about time too, since its our money, freedom and mental health on the line.
"I'm such a nice guy, why don't women like me?" For the love of Christ, let's settle this now by doing a serious examination of what women want. How do you find out what women want? By examining what they do and what they respond to (not what they say).
The things that I find women responding to repeatedly are men who manage to worm their way into or create a group and to offer something that the group likes and respects. This will engender respect, status, and novelty and this is what women really notice, appreciate, and get turned on by.
What you "nice guys" consider as being nice is probably a toxic mix of being passive aggressive, boring, submissive, and clingy. Women smell this stuff like a dog smells fear.
For once in your ****ing life, look at guys who get laid a lot. Examine what they are doing. These guys who get women are sometimes jerks and sometimes really polite....but what do they have in common? They make things happen and they make things fun. And, you quite clearly do not. Notice the difference? Instead of whining about this **** how's about you emulate the guys who are finding success?
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Originally Posted by MsRiss7383
Being pathetic or desperate isn't the same thing as being nice. These so called "nice" guys don't make that distinction. Or they think, why can't I get this girl to sleep with me when I'm being nice to her. Nice guys don't have ulterior motives either.
I married a nice guy.. who is fun, witty, hot.. previous gf's had given him the you're a nice guy, but speech... and he's not wimpy or wishy washy at all.
Hi dramamama6685,
That is not a description of a "nice guy" ergo, when walking away, would one have the impression that he is a nice guy or rather witty or hot?
I consider myself to be a "nice guy" ... but what's the OP's definition? As a "nice guy", I had several beautiful girlfriends ... married the last one 26 years ago.
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But I don't think that they can just snap out of it until they figure this out on their own: that it's the behavior you describe in the first sentence is what gets them to that place of confidence, then the women issue takes care of itself or at least becomes less of an immediate concern. So many young adults need to figure out that it isn't something or someone "out there" that will change them.
What's Good For The Goose.............
