You dudes who whine about the nice guy syndrome (dating, wives, girl)
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As has been stated in other threads, one does not have to be a doormat to be a nice guy. I will probably always try to be a nice guy, but I stopped being a doormat a long time ago. But I also won't pretend to be a "bad" guy just to get laid. I don't want to be with the kind of girls who go for bad guys anyway, especially not at my age.
People who have to think about being nice are not nice.
People who have to think about being honest are not honest.
..Would you buy a car from "Honest Abe Car Sales?" I wouldn't.
Don't be "nice" be yourself--you will gat laid a lot more!
"I'm such a nice guy, why don't women like me?" For the love of Christ, let's settle this now by doing a serious examination of what women want. How do you find out what women want? By examining what they do and what they respond to (not what they say).
The things that I find women responding to repeatedly are men who manage to worm their way into or create a group and to offer something that the group likes and respects. This will engender respect, status, and novelty and this is what women really notice, appreciate, and get turned on by.
What you "nice guys" consider as being nice is probably a toxic mix of being passive aggressive, boring, submissive, and clingy. Women smell this stuff like a dog smells fear.
For once in your ****ing life, look at guys who get laid a lot. Examine what they are doing. These guys who get women are sometimes jerks and sometimes really polite....but what do they have in common? They make things happen and they make things fun. And, you quite clearly do not. Notice the difference? Instead of whining about this **** how's about you emulate the guys who are finding success?
Why can't nice guys get laid? Because of dumb*** advice like this. For the life of me I haven't figured out why dumb*** guys give advice on how to get laid. You really want to get laid, know & date women? Get to know women. You wouldn't ask a deer hunter the best way to catch fish now would you?
There is also confusion between a nice guy and a weak one. And nice doesn't necessarily equate to weak and if the women you seek confuse that then they deserve Mr. Jerk.
Why can't nice guys get laid? Because of dumb*** advice like this. For the life of me I haven't figured out why dumb*** guys give advice on how to get laid. You really want to get laid, know & date women? Get to know women. You wouldn't ask a deer hunter the best way to catch fish now would you?
There is also confusion between a nice guy and a weak one. And nice doesn't necessarily equate to weak and if the women you seek confuse that then they deserve Mr. Jerk.
You really want to get laid, know & date women? Get to know women. You wouldn't ask a deer hunter the best way to catch fish now would you?
Wrong. If you want to get women, learn from men who in fact get women. Following your analogy.. you ask the successful deer hunter how to hunt deer, not the deer itself. (deer don't hunt each other, duh!)
Well, I used to be one, but have been married for 10 years now so I'm probably "tainted"..
Anyway, I was visiting a friend and he had a bunch of people over and I was talking to this guy who was spilling his girl problems out on me and mentioned how "nice" he was and all the things he offered to do for her and how he would "take care" of her and so on and so forth and listening to him, it finally clicked for me....
The guy sounded wimpy, possessive and creepy all rolled into one. The things he was saying sounded nice in principle, but listening to them from an outside perspective if I were a woman I'd have run SCREAMING from this dude.....
Geez, no wonder I didn't get too many dates in High School....
Wrong. If you want to get women, learn from men who in fact get women. Following your analogy.. you ask the successful deer hunter how to hunt deer, not the deer itself. (deer don't hunt each other, duh!)
...bunk....if you want to meet someone: 1) make sure you are well groomed, 2) don't be fat and dirty, 3) be yourself--that is, don't try to "please" someone--that fakeness is a turn off, 4) Make sure you can pay your own bills--that you are proud of your career--whatever it is. 5) decide to just have fun.
Forget the "nice guy" crap. Forget the "romantic" crap. If you feel "romantic" and want to buy her flowers or something--great--she will like them---but be YOU (genuine) first.
There is no real "skill" to this--just be yourself, be honest, be clean, be employed. People have been meeting for hundreds of thousands of years--so don't feel that you gotta do this or that; you gotta drive this or that; you gotta wear your hair such and such...none of that matters.
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