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...the Unstable, the Deeply Troubled, the Deeply Wounded, Bipolar
I also come from a highly dysfunctional family of origin. I've come a long way in terms of my own healing process, and I am a generally happy, outgoing, and productive person--at work (on the job or creative projects). Still, I almost always wind up on my own on the holidays.
People say I have a healing effect on them. So, why am I almost always the one who ends up alone for Christmas? I think it's because the kind of people I attract cut themselves off from the rest of society until the holidays are safely over, or, if they can afford it, they travel. (I've done that myself, but this year money is tight).
I just moved back to Madison, WI, where there is an interesting style of friendliness, which is very there for the most part, but largely impersonal.
I don't know...
I really thought my life would be different if I moved here. For the most part it is, and thankfully so. But still these holidays...
...the Unstable, the Deeply Troubled, the Deeply Wounded, Bipolar
I also come from a highly dysfunctional family of origin. I've come a long way in terms of my own healing process, and I am a generally happy, outgoing, and productive person--at work (on the job or creative projects). Still, I almost always wind up on my own on the holidays.
People say I have a healing effect on them. So, why am I almost always the one who ends up alone for Christmas? I think it's because the kind of people I attract cut themselves off from the rest of society until the holidays are safely over, or, if they can afford it, they travel. (I've done that myself, but this year money is tight).
I just moved back to Madison, WI, where there is an interesting style of friendliness, which is very there for the most part, but largely impersonal.
I don't know...
I really thought my life would be different if I moved here. For the most part it is, and thankfully so. But still these holidays...
Feedback?
Hi Nala8,
Have you asked what other people are doing for the holidays? With smaller families, I think you will find more people in you situation and they would like company as well. My family is somewhat small and I invite and have been invited to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years etc.
Have you asked what other people are doing for the holidays? With smaller families, I think you will find more people in you situation and they would like company as well. My family is somewhat small and I invite and have been invited to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years etc.
Hi. Thanks for your reply. Yes, I've done that. But the new friend I made plans to hang out with bailed, understandably. Another friend at work asked me to have dinner with some of her friends. Now that my own sense of sadness, or the holiday blues, is on me, I just want to stay at home, order in, watch movies, read, meditate, etc.--under my warm blanket.
As a single person who is relatively new to a city, I am finding making close friends difficult, the kind of friends who would invite an "orphan" to dinner. It happened spontaneously last New Year's Day, when I was just visiting Madison, so I have hope. My life won't always be like this.
I think part of the problem is that the kind of people I tend to attract, for the most part, would not even think to invite a new person to Christmas dinner. They tend to want to skip the holidays altogether. So do I, off and on.
I know how you feel. Change your approach and make new friends. Out with the old and in with the new. Merry Christmas!
Right on, PassTheChocolate. I do have this thing for free spirits, being one myself, but I've got to tune into the signs, watch for the red flags, showing me that this person or that person will not or cannot be there for me when I need a friend. Gonna learn how to set my radar on people who understand give and take, or giving and receiving--the yin and yang of freedom with a healthy dose of responsibility. Something I had to learn myself, once upon a time. You live and you learn.
Thanks for your posts. Always inspiring. Cheers...
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