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Long story short, after a lifetime of self sacrifice, I finally "found myself" a few years ago and have never been happier. I spent (and wasted) a lot of time proving myself to be worthy, letting others decide what I was entitled to and what I deserved. I have realized that I could actually lay out what I want and have it, even if others don't approve. And I embrace the axiom that there is always someone else out there willing to do what another won't.
However, living life on my terms has been a challenge to some men. I do have to take into consideration that old habits are hard to break. I have to step back from time to time and decipher whether or not it is justified apprehension or over the top insecurity. I have learned the difference and I have learned that I have to accept that their perception is their reality and let them go.
To be clear, I don't mean "me, me, me" when it comes to living life on my terms. I mean enforcing my boundaries and securing my happiness first. What many people don't realize is that this does include making concessions and sacrifices for someone else, just not at my own personal expense or to my detriment.
Thankfully, the man I am with, even with our last little bump, loves this about me. He doesn't know this and, again, old habits die hard - I find myself wanting to make adjustments without any cause just to secure things. But he really respects this about me and I don't have to change a thing. It took me 4-5 years since my "epiphany" to find this. And it sounds like a long time, but it has flown by because I was in no hurry, nor did I feel lonely in the process.
This is mostly a share (cuz it's Christmas and I'm so happy!), but, have any of you felt challenged by this type of thing or have you been turned away because of it?
I can relate somewhat.
I find now in my life, i'm more focused in acting by my own nature, doing what I want, and being true to myself.
I think in general though we shouldn't sacrifice ourselves and our own personalities/beings to suit or fit in with others. it isn't about being selfish, but by acknowledging life is too short not to focus on our own wellbeing first.
About four years or so ago, I told an aquaintance of mine that my new policy in life was "no more grifting, no more grafting." He scared me half to death when he remarked that I would be alone then for the rest of my life. This is one bitter, paranoid, angry dude. He was projecting. The missing element was kindness. When I set boundaries with people, and fight the good fight for my freedom, I do so with kindness and compassion for all involved. Now, as one poster here has said, I know who my true friends are. Like the ones who did not let me further indulge this delusion that I am all alone in the world just because I had to spend Christmas on my own. So much love was poured out on me yesterday, online and in real time. Being a free spirit, again with kindness and compassion, is a good way to sort out your friends--to know the difference between someone who is a true friend (who gives and receives), a fair-weather friend, a work friend, an acquaintance, a controller, or a user.
Sounds more to me like you are just set in your ways. Quite the opposite of a free spirit.
I think we are all set in our ways to some degree. We have to have our own set of rules or a code to maintain order. I am totally open to change if it serves to improve my life. Otherwise, I'm happy with the way things are. Why fix something if it ain't broken?
We all deserve to be happy being true to ourselves. Most people give up being themselves and conform to what they believe will make them acceptable. I don't anymore and I don't try to make friends people will either like or not. I'm glad to join the growing army of people who just don't care anymore. Love me as I am or leave me alone.
We all deserve to be happy being true to ourselves. Most people give up being themselves and conform to what they believe will make them acceptable. I don't anymore and I don't try to make friends people will either like or not. I'm glad to join the growing army of people who just don't care anymore. Love me as I am or leave me alone.
I think we are all set in our ways to some degree. We have to have our own set of rules or a code to maintain order. I am totally open to change if it serves to improve my life. Otherwise, I'm happy with the way things are. Why fix something if it ain't broken?
Hear hear! And, in any case, anyone who is willing to change their core values for you is not to be trusted, imho.
We all deserve to be happy being true to ourselves. Most people give up being themselves and conform to what they believe will make them acceptable. I don't anymore and I don't try to make friends people will either like or not. I'm glad to join the growing army of people who just don't care anymore. Love me as I am or leave me alone.
Right on. As the poet T.S. Eliot once wrote, "Teach me to care and not to care." I care about people and about myself enough to be myself, no matter what. Sadly, too many people seem to think that caring about them means jumping through their hoops. Nope, nope, nope. Not I.
I think we are all set in our ways to some degree. We have to have our own set of rules or a code to maintain order. I am totally open to change if it serves to improve my life. Otherwise, I'm happy with the way things are. Why fix something if it ain't broken?
I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I'm just saying that what you describe is not a representation of free spirited. So, if you're looking for someone who likes free spirits...uh... .
I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I'm just saying that what you describe is not a representation of free spirited. So, if you're looking for someone who likes free spirits...uh... .
Very well then....lol.
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