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I don't think either of you were wrong, I think it was just miscommunication. Your boyfriend didn't know Christmas was important, becuase you didn't tell him. Your boyfriend didn't know you needed attention when his friend got there, because you didn't tell him.
OTOH you didn't know he was hanging with his friend and thinking he was giving you space because he didn't tell you. He obviously thought that is what you wanted.
Simply tell him that you were a bit upset and next time you both need to communicate better.
IDK- if you removed yourself from their company, I think you were sending the message that you didn't want to be with them and/or preferred to be alone (which is quite rude in it's own right...you could have easily gone home, once you realized that it was not going to be the intimate evening you thought was going to occur.) Why would it be his job to come and coax you out of your alone time? And as far as "checking on you"... unless you have some physical disorder that makes you prone to seizures or some other malady that requires him to check on you to make sure you are still alive, why would he need to "check on you"?
Sounds like you wanted to slink off and pout in order to make him feel guilty and come baby you into being social against your wishes, and got pissed when he didn't notice/care that you were pouting. Sounds quite immature and self-pitying (on your part) to me. What did he do, exactly, that was out of line? Not play the game?
Honey, that's not something to be mad about. His friend came in from out of state. You get him all the other times. Move on and learn what real battles are and pick those to fight.
It's hard to evaluate this one incident without context of your entire relationship. Ex. Does he frequently do what he wants without consulting you? Would he be OK if you did want you want without consulting him?
I think you were kinda both wrong and the guest too. Its wrong to just plop yourself into someone's day and stay there for a long time. Its rude to do this to couples/family especially. But your guy may of said not to worry about it because that is what you said.
You went into the other room. You could have stayed and joined in the fun. Instead you chose to distance yourself. WHy would he think you wanted to participate? I agree with Onglet: send an apology text and if you want to be included next time, stay in the room.
First christmas with new boyfriend. We see eachother nightly so we don't really make plans. We didn't discuss christmas together or not, it was understood we would spend holiday together. We got eachother gifts, etc. So last night, he has a friend call him who is in town. without discussion, he says the guy's going to come over. I say ok, would have said ok if asked, too. But they did thier guy thing all night. I went to the other room right away for some quiet, but not once did my boyfriend check on me. I was very upset by this becasue I thought it was rude. When I told him how I felt, he said I was wrong, he thought I was sleeping and he didn't know christmas was important to me. My friend says I was wrong (I am surprised that is why Im asking here.) and that I should text him - he had to go into the office for a few hours and say something along the lines of lets make plans for tonight. I am thinking to just leave him alone and let him text me. Just looking for feedback- was I out of line? , and if I was, should i then be the one to send him a nice mesage? thank-you.
That Christmas evening is now in the past and can never be recaptured. Move away from asking, "was I out of line or was he?". Spend your energy thinking about how you will avoid similar episodes in the future.
I don't think you have a problem here. He simply DIDN'T KNOW. It was something that slipped through the process (communication), and let me tell ya, men are NOT good mind-readers. Plus, I agree with the poster that if his friend was someone he doesn't see often, you should accept it a little better.
When you disappeared into your room he probably assumed you went to sleep, or just thought you wanted to be there, so he had no concerns.
I think you should discuss it with him. You'd have a better idea from his reactions in the future. If you like him enough to keep things going, just learn to be specific when it comes to things like holidays.
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