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It's been discussed here at CD Relationships endlessly, but sex columnist Dan Savagerecently wrote what I think is one of the best, most honest answers to the oft-asked question of why men cheat:
Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat, i.e., because they're bored or horny or unfulfilled or desperate to see someone else naked for a change. People cheat because monogamy isn't natural and we are wired to cheat. That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments, and blah-de-nine-iron-blah. But we shouldn't encourage people to make commitments we all know they're unlikely to keep. The end.
You do realize you're quoting Savage Love (speaking of pun...), don't you?! Most of us like to think of ourselves as at least a teeny bit more sophisticated than savages!
Prof, honest to God, I think you should scratch your itch if you had to resort to quoting this steamy pile of crap... And I'm telling you this with love - you know I like you.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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More LAME horse pucky excuses ...because im bored, im horny, im too LAZY and LACK the jewels to end a dissatisfying relationship ..But, but, ...im afraid of being alone!!...WHAAAAAAAHHH!!!! g- darn inexperienced, irresponsible grasshoppers!!!! grow the y up!!!!
"Dude ..check it out"..."huh??" ..."check out this fungus growing on the back of my throat..looks like cottage cheese...!!" "..Awesome!!!!..." ....karma has it coming...enjoy...
Hey! This is a column on women who like to be spanked. What kind of pervert, are you?
Assuming that Savage has pulled a switch on you, I'll give my take.
This is related to the same issue with marriage:
"That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments."
I think this is related to the lack of commitment to marriage too. Once this changed, with no fault divorce and a societal change from marriage being a permanent commitment, cheating just doesn't seem so bad anymore. If you're caught, its not like you'll spend the rest of your life in marital purgatory, anymore.
Besides, men who cheat, often ooze that artificial/arrogant confidence that women love. Women who cheat are usually more desirable than their single competition. (I know! I know! Some men go after married women for the lack of required commitment - but others don't want to be staring down the barrel of a gun!)
Therefore, both types are more likely to be in a marriage - for these reasons alone. When they get bored...........
Hey! This is a column on women who like to be spanked. What kind of pervert, are you?
Assuming that Savage has pulled a switch on you, I'll give my take.
This is related to the same issue with marriage:
"That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments."
I think this is related to the lack of commitment to marriage too. Once this changed, with no fault divorce and a societal change from marriage being a permanent commitment, cheating just doesn't seem so bad anymore. If you're caught, its not like you'll spend the rest of your life in marital purgatory, anymore.
Besides, men who cheat, often ooze that artificial/arrogant confidence that women love. Women who cheat are usually more desirable than their single competition. (I know! I know! Some men go after married women for the lack of required commitment - but others don't want to be staring down the barrel of a gun!)
Therefore, both types are more likely to be in a marriage - for these reasons alone. When they get bored...........
That is a key point. Like Chris Rock said,"Men are only as faithful as their options"
But we shouldn't encourage people to make commitments we all know they're unlikely to keep. The end.
Society DOES push people to marry and many people really shouldn't make that commitment. As long as society continues to treat single or otherwise unmarried people as "odd" or "misfits," and as long as society pushes young people to marry before they're mature enough and ready to make a lifelong commitment, then lots of people WILL seek the company of others outside of their marriages because, over time, they find they have grown apart from their spouses or they have nothing in common with them anymore. And the bottom line is that not everyone is suited for marriage so it shouldn't be pushed on or expected of everyone.
Well, let me say that I am uncertain on my position on that quote. I do not know enough about it. But I can say that when a man, or woman, has been denied one of the most basic necessities of life and marriage, either will find a way to fill that need. Doesn't make it right, but the need will get filled.
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