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Old 12-26-2009, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 7,176,485 times
Reputation: 3073

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It's been discussed here at CD Relationships endlessly, but sex columnist Dan Savage recently wrote what I think is one of the best, most honest answers to the oft-asked question of why men cheat:

Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat, i.e., because they're bored or horny or unfulfilled or desperate to see someone else naked for a change. People cheat because monogamy isn't natural and we are wired to cheat. That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments, and blah-de-nine-iron-blah. But we shouldn't encourage people to make commitments we all know they're unlikely to keep. The end.
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Old 12-26-2009, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,147,085 times
Reputation: 22814
You do realize you're quoting Savage Love (speaking of pun...), don't you?! Most of us like to think of ourselves as at least a teeny bit more sophisticated than savages!

Prof, honest to God, I think you should scratch your itch if you had to resort to quoting this steamy pile of crap... And I'm telling you this with love - you know I like you.
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Old 12-26-2009, 10:07 PM
 
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
2,035 posts, read 5,034,927 times
Reputation: 1099
More LAME horse pucky excuses ...because im bored, im horny, im too LAZY and LACK the jewels to end a dissatisfying relationship ..But, but, ...im afraid of being alone!!...WHAAAAAAAHHH!!!! g- darn inexperienced, irresponsible grasshoppers!!!! grow the y up!!!!

"Dude ..check it out"..."huh??" ..."check out this fungus growing on the back of my throat..looks like cottage cheese...!!" "..Awesome!!!!..." ....karma has it coming...enjoy...
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:39 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 8,854,176 times
Reputation: 3026
Hey! This is a column on women who like to be spanked. What kind of pervert, are you?

Assuming that Savage has pulled a switch on you, I'll give my take.

This is related to the same issue with marriage:

"That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments."

I think this is related to the lack of commitment to marriage too. Once this changed, with no fault divorce and a societal change from marriage being a permanent commitment, cheating just doesn't seem so bad anymore. If you're caught, its not like you'll spend the rest of your life in marital purgatory, anymore.

Besides, men who cheat, often ooze that artificial/arrogant confidence that women love. Women who cheat are usually more desirable than their single competition. (I know! I know! Some men go after married women for the lack of required commitment - but others don't want to be staring down the barrel of a gun!)

Therefore, both types are more likely to be in a marriage - for these reasons alone. When they get bored...........
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Old 12-27-2009, 06:50 AM
 
Location: In the sticks, SC
1,639 posts, read 5,098,912 times
Reputation: 1094
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Hey! This is a column on women who like to be spanked. What kind of pervert, are you?

Assuming that Savage has pulled a switch on you, I'll give my take.

This is related to the same issue with marriage:

"That doesn't make cheating right, of course; people should honor their commitments."

I think this is related to the lack of commitment to marriage too. Once this changed, with no fault divorce and a societal change from marriage being a permanent commitment, cheating just doesn't seem so bad anymore. If you're caught, its not like you'll spend the rest of your life in marital purgatory, anymore.

Besides, men who cheat, often ooze that artificial/arrogant confidence that women love. Women who cheat are usually more desirable than their single competition. (I know! I know! Some men go after married women for the lack of required commitment - but others don't want to be staring down the barrel of a gun!)

Therefore, both types are more likely to be in a marriage - for these reasons alone. When they get bored...........
That is a key point. Like Chris Rock said,"Men are only as faithful as their options"
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Old 12-27-2009, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
38 posts, read 67,255 times
Reputation: 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by mongoslade223 View Post
That is a key point. Like Chris Rock said,"Men are only as faithful as their options"

This is what I believe. As long as they can get away with it, they're gonna do it.
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,064 posts, read 18,007,051 times
Reputation: 3729
This is the money quote, as far as I'm concerned:

Quote:
But we shouldn't encourage people to make commitments we all know they're unlikely to keep. The end.
Society DOES push people to marry and many people really shouldn't make that commitment. As long as society continues to treat single or otherwise unmarried people as "odd" or "misfits," and as long as society pushes young people to marry before they're mature enough and ready to make a lifelong commitment, then lots of people WILL seek the company of others outside of their marriages because, over time, they find they have grown apart from their spouses or they have nothing in common with them anymore. And the bottom line is that not everyone is suited for marriage so it shouldn't be pushed on or expected of everyone.
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:33 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,400,633 times
Reputation: 55562
per OP
neither man nor woman is naturally evil.
well, we might be-- but that does not mean we have to do it.
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Old 12-27-2009, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 15,112,942 times
Reputation: 3787
Quote:
Originally Posted by mongoslade223 View Post
That is a key point. Like Chris Rock said,"Men are only as faithful as their options"
LOL

I think if you are handling your business, you shouldn't have to worry (most of the time).

One problem is most of the attractive people are married/committed.
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Old 12-27-2009, 02:36 PM
 
Location: West Chester, Ohio
122 posts, read 389,494 times
Reputation: 99
Well, let me say that I am uncertain on my position on that quote. I do not know enough about it. But I can say that when a man, or woman, has been denied one of the most basic necessities of life and marriage, either will find a way to fill that need. Doesn't make it right, but the need will get filled.
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