"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Emily Post
It was late in the day, and I was ready to go inside. A group of us had been out in the snow, attempting to create perfectly shaped snowmen and watching the kids as they heaved snowballs back and forth across the street. By this time, most of the children had already gone inside. I was left watching a couple from down the road, waiting for the mother or some other authority figure to round them up and take them off to dinner or whatever they do around this time. While waiting, a neighbor came out and profusely thanked me for watching her two boys, and in this, I was pleasantly surprised. I had never really had the chance to talk to her, and for her to take the time simply to thank me was impressive. I thought to myself, "Now there's someone who really cares about other people..."
After just a few moments into the conversation, I realized that I thought too soon.
Apparently, what I'm about to mention is social acceptable in modern society.
We started to carry on an in-depth conversation about the snow; driving in it, shoveling it, stepping over the yellow spots, and so on, but, as I was in mid-sentence, I suddenly heard this crazy chirping eminating from her pocket. Without a second thought, she immediatly whips out her beloved cell phone and starts punching away. I stop talking while she spends the next few moments carrying on a different conversation with some unseen person.
In the middle of this, she calmly tells me to keep talking, that she's still listening. So, I do. I mentioned how great it is that we have gravity, otherwise hunters would be all confused; the birds would just hang up there and the dogs would all have bewildered expressions on their faces.
Obviously, she didn't hear a word I said. I imagine her conversation went something like this, "Whts up?", "Nthing, U?", "Jst relxn"..
Finally, she finished, and tried, without much success, to resume the conversation. Luckily, the kids father arrived, so I was able to quickly make my departure.
I wonder if she even remembers what I said as I walked away: "It was nice meeting you, and watching you text." Her only reply was this: "Same here, email me sometime!"
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Thing is, and what's sad about this, is that it happens all the time. Not just with texting, but with a lot of things. This lady wasn't a teenager, no, she was mid-40's, and one would think that she'd know better.
Since the mid-90's, it seems as if good manners have been replaced with selfishness. People are so used to looking down at their IPhones, or blackberry's, or laptops, that many don't know how to behave when someone
live is standing right before them.
Listen folks, it's not that hard - really. Let me offer a couple points of advice here:
- Make eye contact. It's simple, you raise your head, look over your cell phone, and look into a real persons eyes.
- Smile and nod - you don't have to say, "lol" when you think somethings funny - real people can hear you laugh.
- If a text comes in, and you absolutely must see what it's about, then say this: "Excuse me." Just two words - repeat after me, "Excuse me." See how easy that was?
- If you must carry on a conversation with someone else, then tell the current person that you're engaged in a conversation with that you absolutely must take this call, and then say, "Excuse me." - yes, those two words again. Only do this if you REALLY must take the call, otherwise turn the damn phone off.
Alright, got that so far? Ok, here's a few more things:
- Listen to what people say. This involves being quiet, paying attention, and then trying to figure out what that persons words mean. Don't pretend to listen - actually listen.
- Learn, and use, these words: "Please", "Thank you", "You're welcome", and the hardest one to learn, "I'm sorry". They can go a long way.
- Most importantly, think before you act. It doesn't cost anything to be polite, or to help out another person, or even to open a door for another.. Yes, we do these things in the real world.. So, next time you're about to do something even semi-foolish, think about it, and ask yourself how you would feel if you were the other person.
Ok, hell, I feel better now. I just get tired of people being so selfish that they can't see past their own cell phone.
Really, it's not that hard at all.
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