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And this is what scares the hell out of me as a man...being used as a sperm donor, money provider, or a "good enough" companion because they want somebody around. Notice the common theme here? Selfishness over and over again. Not once do I see these authors advocating that their readers pursue relationships because of the genuine love and connection with the other person. It's all about their desire to reproduce or pragmatism. Absolutely ****ing disgusting and this is what feminism has given birth to.
Because men always marry for true love right? Never a 'good woman' to cook clean, bear and raise their kids.
I think women, in general, are realizing that they can support themselves, and no they don't need a guy who is 'a loser', they want someone with substance and morality. This is not just limited to 'educated' Black women but across the board. With more women earning good money, they don't NEED someone to support them or their futures. They don't HAVE to settle for 'someone' because society says "YOU NEED A MAN."
I do not have first hand knowledge of 'black culture' despite being from NY originally. I am from the very segregated suburbs of Long Island and the only Black people I knew personally I worked with. The other was a girl I was friends with in middle school and when I knew her (8th grade I think) she was going to be a lawyer when 'we grew up.'
What I don't understand is why all these successful Black men (or not so) think the epitome of 'success' is getting a White woman....(Tiger Woods, Kofe Annin, OJ) to name a few. When I was in college, all the 'basketball players' constantly hit on the White girls (myself included). I was not interested and this one guy took it very personally.
Again, it was probably not about 'color' but the fact he was more of a thug type than a "Denziel Washington" guy!
So--back to the topic...
Why this hate of Black women? Why this hate of your own culture?
Last edited by GypsySoul22; 12-30-2009 at 07:39 AM..
Who cares?
They need to look within to find the answer , and no it is not 42.
You may not care and that is great, but evidently for it to be a social subject matter where people are having a dialogue about it-some people do care and some are just interested in this subject matter. Once again it is fine that you do not care. It would be good if you looked within to determine why you felt the need to state 'who cares."
Condolences for coming across asinine , but I'm bombarded with this childlike drivel from counterparts daily(not here , in daily life) and it has taken it's toll. Regarding 'looking within' , for some strange reason , all I see is red.
Last edited by etacarinae; 12-30-2009 at 12:28 PM..
Reason: additional information
Although this article is almost three years old, I never gave thought to men who feel that they do not have to commit to black women due to seeing all these single mother and grandmothers doing it on their own without any man present. Why should they have to commit if they feel we really do not need them. This is why I support a man and woman raising the children if at all possible. This dysfunctional behavior started in slavery and has been a reoccurring way of life for black men. For him it seems to be the most heavily followed road and the one that is least followed is the one he avoids at all cost depending on his upbringing.. Yet we are always told us to get over our slavery issues, how can we successfully get over them when so many of our males and females still have that mindset that was clearly meant to harm us. Many of our males and females are still being haunted and traumatized by those same teaching and behaviors that happen while our ancestors were enslaved. We are not free based on our way of living or thought patterns, but it is our responsibility to make it happen. So many continue to stay dysfunctional. I think we should have a boot camp instituted immediately for our young black males and it should be free. Start it in a recreation center, church, etc. Just start teaching something that prepares them to honor family and marriage, overall their life at an early age. I would go as far to say a boot camp for black young females too. A "How to Love Yourself" or some other empowering title. I have all kinds of ideas, but I think it has to happen through education and it has to be ongoing . The church is not the only entity that can do this and has of late they have not been doing a good job teaching anything that has empowered us or made us a healthier people in today's society. More women are in the church, well that would be another place where the black male sees that he is not needed by the black female. SMH!!
bitter maybe but depressed and angry i dont think so.
not the ones i know. bitter is underrated. better to swallow the medicine
than stay sick.
lots of people go to sleep at night lying next to their worst enemy.
what's huck talking about, gee i dont know-- lets ask that mouse in the cage with the python.
They're probably just hiding the fact that they alienated every man that's out there that they would date. The sad part is, they're probably artificially reducing the selection of their partners. Few of these black women would consider dating white or East Asian men because they don't want to have "confused" children. I personally know because I grew up hearing their ideas on outbreeding.
The dirty little secret in the black community is that many success minded black men don't like dating black women but they don't want to admit it. The reason why is because current mainstream African-American culture is the antithesis to what success is. Mainstream African-American culture is highly anti-intellectual, strives towards mediocrity and depends more on style vs actual substance. Sure, you may find a few black CEOs in some corporations, but chances are, they haven't the foggiest how business works. In fact, growing up and going to elementary and high school, I never figured out why people were given jobs. Jobs were just jobs and we were taught to try to "talk a good game" during an interview and hope you can attract an employer. In reality, most smart employers can see through the BS and won't hire you.
You will find that many success minded black men think black culture stresses style over substance. Style over substance may work in the ghetto and in African-American communities but it doesn't work in the real world. Something interesting you would find too that before many of these quota programs, you saw many TRULY smart African Americans that were sometimes more competent than their bosses. They were held back because they were black and people back then didn't think people of color were that talented. Those quota systems that were made to let those truly smart blacks succeed are now being manipulated and now a generation of black kids now have an entitlement mentality. Many of them think they can just slide by in school and make it big. And the sad part is, their idea of "making it big" are mundane jobs. (Dentist, medical doctor, preacher, barber salesman) and never any of the real big money jobs where you're actually creating, repairing or conceptualizing a good or where you have a high level skillset (Engineering, robotics, web development). I'm not being racist, I'm being a realist. I live with this BS every day. In fact, I had to fight through that same thinking whenever I went to get any kind of job. I haven't gotten steady, unskilled employment because I have a learning disability, but I got farther than other people with my learning disability because of my same attitude pertaining to employment. I know I'm there to sell my labor to a manufacturer or a retailer and nothing else. I'm not there to have fun, I'm not there to win friends, I'm not there to form a "family", I'm there to punch in the clock, practice an art or skill, and then punch the clock out. There are night clubs and social groups, message boards, et al that are out there that suffice for making friends. You don't find that mentality much in African-American communities. In fact, at all the jobs I've had, you would find the African-American women (And sometimes men) just sitting in a corner and talking when they're suppoded to work. The ones that stuck to their job and worked were chided as being "too white".
I have another personal story about the extent of this culture. I got into a fight on the bus with a black male and a black female, which I won. I have a first degree black belt in South Korean style taekwondo and a green belt in North Korean style taekwon-do, so naturally, the fight was easy for me. when I asked some kids with a really loud MP3 player to turn down their music. They thought it was "their right" to play loud music, just because the bus serviced the inner city. They quickly found out otherwise when they attacked my girlfriend while giving her the endering name of "White girl" (Hate crime anybody?). The woman also had the gaul to flag down the police and try to press *charges* on me for "attacking a female". The officer then told the angry, loud, and obviously mentally disturbed woman rightly to shut the hell up or else he'll arrest her on the spot for disorderly conduct and inciting a riot. And the funny part was, I was on probation when that happened and I told the police that I'm a trained martial artist and I didn't even see one jiffy in the backseat of that car .
The boyfriend told me if he ever saw me in that neighborhood again, he'd kick my ass. I live in that neighborhood. I travel there all the time on the way to Taekwondo class so I know I've seen him on that same bus before, so I know he's pretty much full of style and no substance. I also saw his girlfriend on the bus a few weeks later (Minus the boyfriend). She didn't look too thrilled to see me on her way back from her job at KFC (I'm not kidding either, she really worked at KFC!).
Anyway, I don't want this to get into a martial arts skill circle jerk so I'll move on to my other topic.
You'll notice also that many black immigrants from other countries are married to white Americans. Blacks from other countries think of African American women are radioactive, to say it kindly, (including my black immigrant mother), just for those same reasons I mentioned above. I'm sorry if it seems "racist", but the facts are the facts. Black American culture is stuck in an ADD riddled, sociopathic, me first attitude and those of us who hate it are running away from the sinking ship. That's why you see many of the well to do black men with white wives. They simply want to get away from that culture and that line of thought.
I think it must be hard being a good Black man because you are surrounded by so much negativity and ignorance and I can totally understand why some Black men may not want to marry a Black woman.
I could NEVER turn down a good mate based on race, and I would give a good Black woman a chance BUT I am afraid it would be very hard to click due to cultural differences.
I used to know a Black girl, she was a college student and she would sleep with this old White dude for money, I guess, she was not officially a prostitute BUT the old man would pay some of her bills in exchange for some sex. When I found this out, I was shocked BUT the first thing that came to mind was some rap songs that talk about "I need a man to pay ma bills", see what I mean?
I am sure most Black women don't do that BUT where did this come from? Did rappers just make it all up? I doubt it! I am sure any good Black man would not want anything to do with a woman like her.
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