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thats what i was thinking, it kinda frustrates me that she doenst wanna help herself but her mood swings sometimes get the best of me and i lash out a bit, im trying to control it though, but its hard.
Clinical depression is biological and just like you can't snap out of having high blood pressure, you can't snap out of a depression caused by a chemical imbalance. She needs meds first and then therapy.
she tells me its nothing im doing wrong, that shes just sad but my natural husband instinct kicks in and i wanna help her to get over it, but i guess it takes time, i ask god for patience!
Your patience and understanding will help, but just be aware that this could be a very long road. It doesn't sound like she is really ready to help herself at this point, probably everything is too overwhelming for her right now??
Be sure to also take care of yourself, and even if it means that you need to talk to someone professionally as well, please do so. You can't help your wife if you are being swallowed up by her depression.
thats how i felt yesterday, she was walking around like a zombie, i was trying my best to cheer her up, and nothng! I felt pretty helpless, after seeign her sad, i started getting sad, she cried all night, and kept waking up.
That will be the hardest thing for you in this situation: the person suffering from depression has a kind of tunnel vision, so your wife won't or can't be as attentive to your needs and your feelings as she works through this. At times it will be frustrating, and how she's acting won't make sense to you. So just make sure that you've got support as well.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 12-31-2009 at 01:58 PM..
Greetings,
Could she be going thru the change of life? This also can depress a woman.. try to get her to eat salmon, almonds. If not get some vitamins at walmart, fish oil, almonds, and garlic.
What kind of diet has she been eating?
Is there some gals at the gym you can speak with that may help you get her there? Does the local hospital have any ideas of groups for women suffering from this?
Pray this off her...
Be Blessed
This is gonna sound cold blooded but you have to give her an ultimatum. either meds or you will find something else to occupy your time. I went through twelve years of living with an unmedicated bi-polar spouse (with kids). whats worse is she never told me she needed to be on medication so I thought it was me all those years, when I said I was gonna walk in order to spare her any more of what ever I was doing to make her this way, she got on meds.
This is gonna sound cold blooded but you have to give her an ultimatum. either meds or you will find something else to occupy your time. I went through twelve years of living with an unmedicated bi-polar spouse (with kids). whats worse is she never told me she needed to be on medication so I thought it was me all those years, when I said I was gonna walk in order to spare her any more of what ever I was doing to make her this way, she got on meds.
I'm glad it worked for you but this isn't a good answer. "Meds" may or may not be a solution. And giving an ultimatium like this may be the last thing you say as a married person so it's not something I would recommend.
I would suggest making sure a complete medical checkup is done that looks for conditions that could be causing the depression rather than just insist on popping a happy pill and expecting things to get better. There may also be a psychological reason behind it all. If she won't do it herself then you should take the lead and make an appointment and go with her.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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Walking around like a zombie...Could it be the Blue Moon tonight??...Seriously though..
Depression can be a very challenging thing to break through..and is something which takes a will of steel sometimes to handle..Like the previous post stated, get everything checked out..and sit down with a psychologist for a few sessions..before doing anything drastic..or making ultimatums..
Even, if in the end, you both end up going separate ways..which i doubt will happen, you can have the peace of mind knowing that you did the right thing..instead of putting your head in the sand and just not dealing with it..or running away like a scared 2 yr old...
A challenge like this can be a tremendous growing experience both as a couple and individually...and that is what living is all about
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