Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Those without money think it's pathetic to attract girls with money.
Those without personality think it's manipulative to attract girls with tricks.
Those without looks think girls are shallow.
I'm sorry but that is a myth that women focus on personality more than men. Women worry about money more than men...not personality.
As far as the topic goes I'm not over 35 but I think dating in the 30's really stinks so far. I've went out with a few women recently and it didn't really go anywhere even though I was open to it. It's like women in their late 20's and onward are looking for someone perfect. They go on one date with you...treat it as job interview and if you don't pass all of their tests you don't hear from them again. I think I'm a pretty good catch I have no kids never married, doing at least average financially, normal looking/in shape, open to something long-term leading to marriage...yet women around my age still don't seem to think I'm good enough.
Give this a watch. It touches on what you're talking about regarding how women, both young and old, view men in the modern (western) world.
Nutz76 I think there's definitely a percentage of women that view men in that way...here's a good video on dating in 2010 as well. I've had this in my youtube favorites for quite some time now. Even the guest that is a woman feels that people are getting way out of hand with their shopping lists and unrealistic expectations. The other guest (the dude) is from FHM magazine.
As far as the topic goes I'm not over 35 but I think dating in the 30's really stinks so far. I've went out with a few women recently and it didn't really go anywhere even though I was open to it. It's like women in their late 20's and onward are looking for someone perfect. They go on one date with you...treat it as job interview and if you don't pass all of their tests you don't hear from them again. I think I'm a pretty good catch I have no kids never married, doing at least average financially, normal looking/in shape, open to something long-term leading to marriage...yet women around my age still don't seem to think I'm good enough.
Maybe because there's more to being a good catch than that. What you described is a nice starting point though. As for women who treat dates like job interviews, I can't say I blame them. People in their 30s are short on time and value what little they have. Better to find out immediately if someone is wrong for you than to have to go on several dates with them.
I wouldn't go after girls in their early 20s and I'm 29. They all look pretty and all, but I'd just feel like a creep running after one. And I would hate that girl I'm with would look at me as old or worse, a credit card. IMHO, aging guys who go after young chicks are willfully ignoring the fact that they act more as a father than a lover just so they can have a hot piece of *ss in their bed.
As for women who treat dates like job interviews, I can't say I blame them. People in their 30s are short on time and value what little they have. Better to find out immediately if someone is wrong for you than to have to go on several dates with them.
I just don't get the whole concept of women putting men under observation, testing them, putting them on probation, etc. for months and/or years. Treating dates like a job interview. Then, if the guy gets to pass all those tests, observations, probations, etc. it means he is then worthy of being the one who continues to take her out on dinners/wine, entertainment, buy her an engagement ring, etc.
I just don't get the whole concept of women putting men under observation, testing them, putting them on probation, etc. for months and/or years. Treating dates like a job interview. Then, if the guy gets to pass all those tests, observations, probations, etc. it means he is then worthy of being the one who continues to take her out on dinners/wine, entertainment, buy her an engagement ring, etc.
Why shouldn't a date be like an interview. A job interview, at least the good ones, shouldn't be about grilling you or making you feel nervous. But they are about figuring out whether you're qualified for the job. Likewise, if you go on a date and the person asks you what religion you are, how you feel about kids, etc., you might feel like such questions aren't appropriate for a first date. But look at it from the perspective of a woman. Besides you, she's set up 3 other first dates. Because she works full time, she only has so much time in the week to date. So it's better for her to figure out sooner rather than later if you're even compatible with her.
Maybe because there's more to being a good catch than that. What you described is a nice starting point though. As for women who treat dates like job interviews, I can't say I blame them. People in their 30s are short on time and value what little they have. Better to find out immediately if someone is wrong for you than to have to go on several dates with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Why shouldn't a date be like an interview. A job interview, at least the good ones, shouldn't be about grilling you or making you feel nervous. But they are about figuring out whether you're qualified for the job. Likewise, if you go on a date and the person asks you what religion you are, how you feel about kids, etc., you might feel like such questions aren't appropriate for a first date. But look at it from the perspective of a woman. Besides you, she's set up 3 other first dates. Because she works full time, she only has so much time in the week to date. So it's better for her to figure out sooner rather than later if you're even compatible with her.
You have to give people a chance though and not write them off too fast. Like some women say they won't go long term with a guy unless he has a bachelor's degree...ok so seriously...if you find a guy that you find attractive, click with in every way and he has good values you're going to throw him away just because he doesn't have the degree requirement?
Finding someone is very complicated and you have to be open minded, there is no perfect man or woman. A lot of women think they found the perfect guy that matches everything on their checklist...then then the guy ends up cheating on them or using them. Whereas if the same woman wouldn't have wrote off the previous guy so quickly she would have ended up with a great long term relationship partner. Dating like you're going shopping just doesn't work. A lot of things can't be deduced from the first couple of dates so someone that you think looks great on paper or not so great on paper at first might not be an accurate assumption. If you watch the video I think it sums it up perfectly.
I'm sorry but that is a myth that women focus on personality more than men. Women worry about money more than men...not personality.
As far as the topic goes I'm not over 35 but I think dating in the 30's really stinks so far. I've went out with a few women recently and it didn't really go anywhere even though I was open to it. It's like women in their late 20's and onward are looking for someone perfect. They go on one date with you...treat it as job interview and if you don't pass all of their tests you don't hear from them again. I think I'm a pretty good catch I have no kids never married, doing at least average financially, normal looking/in shape, open to something long-term leading to marriage...yet women around my age still don't seem to think I'm good enough.
But... are you fun to be with? It sounds like you are a classic "nice guy" who isn't exciting to be with. And the reason that nice guys aren't appealing to women is because they lack the personality to charm a woman. Without the charm and fun factor, there is no romantic mood set, no sparks flying, no passion... so then you get placed in the friend zone and are treated like a surrogate brother.
Having no ex wife or children baggage, and being average financially is a great start. But have a good reason for not having that ex wife or kids, or women will also wonder why you don't have that baggage. Now work on being great company.
I just don't get the whole concept of women putting men under observation, testing them, putting them on probation, etc. for months and/or years. Treating dates like a job interview. Then, if the guy gets to pass all those tests, observations, probations, etc. it means he is then worthy of being the one who continues to take her out on dinners/wine, entertainment, buy her an engagement ring, etc.
There is no point in dating a man that will end up being incompatible as serious boyfriend or husband. I need to find out right away how a man feels about marriage, kids, religion and personal finance. I have no desire to try to change any man to suit my own needs. And life is too precious and short to waste it in the company of a s/o that is too different in the way they act and think.
And on other hand, I hear and read plenty of complaints from men about how their girlfriends and wives are trying to change them. And that's what happens when you try to have a relationship with a person who has such differing life philosophies and goals from yours. It's a no win situation I guess.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
