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No, you are incorrect and it doesn't upset me...I just have read one too many threads tonight about the faults of women...I see a lot of men posting on these threads that just reinforce what we women see -- lots of criticism about women -- not just fat rants, but all kinds of rants about women -- and it gets irritating after a while. And really, who are any of you to give "valid" or any other type of criticism to people you don't even know? No one wants to see their own shortcomings but is quick to point out the faults of others -- some of us women have called you guys out on all this tonight because we've seen so many stupid threads here on CD tonight.
And I have seen boorish behavior by men who were certainly no prize making fun of women because of physical characteristics...it gets old. It's just like watching a person's behavior towards your waiter -- if a date is ugly to the "little people", it doesn't matter how much he tries to impress you, or how nice he is, you see who he really is by how he treats those he considers beneath him. It's the same with women who see men behave badly toward one of their friends who don't seem to "measure up" -- doesn't matter how much you may like one of us, if you are rude and critical to someone who doesn't meet your standards, we don't want any part of you.
I'm sure, in your eyes, it might get irritating after awhile. But you have to remember one thing: this is a forum about dating and relationships. By virtue of that fact alone, you're going to find many threads in which men criticize women, and vice versa.
People come here for all sorts of advice on relationships and such. Another reason people come here, is to vent.
Furthermore, aren't you being a little hypocritical? You wrote in your response to me...
"And really, who are any of you to give "valid" or any other type of criticism to people you don't even know"
You're implying that I'm in the wrong for giving criticism to someone that I don't even know. Yet, you're giving me criticism...and I'm someone you don't know.
Everyone has a preference. What's so wrong with a guy having a preference for a slimmer woman? As long as the person is nice and respectful about it, why not just wish them the best, and move on?
That is precisely what I would do. To each their own. I don't have a problem if someone isn't attracted to me, it just means we aren't a match.
Now, overweight women are second-grade dating material since US and Western society prizes slim as beautiful.
Nowadays, or so it seems, a woman who can't hide behind a slender palm tree is considered overweight. And most of the women hoisted forth as beautiful these days are little more than bags of bones. These days, even Mary Tyler Moore in her years as Laura Petrie on the classic Dick Van Dyke Show would be considered fat. Women who were once thought of as classic beauties would be considered obese today.
So who are we to say?
Andy Warhol once said he'd never met a woman he couldn't consider a beauty for at least one reason. I think he was onto something there.
Most overweight tubbies have huge self-esteem problems, so they conceal it by pretending to exude an air of assertiveness bordering on aggressiveness. When a hot guy rightfully snubs them, they know deep down that it is a rightous snub, since, face it, they're often disgusting. This in turn pushes their inner buttons and their defense mechanism of "I am proud woman--hear me roar" rears it's ugly head. This is all very natural. As a personal trainer I see it in gyms all the time. It's funny how they get nicer as they get thinner. LOL.
Your descriptive comments aren't in regards to the OP's initial post. You're not describing their attitudes as a result of being overweight, but just basing it on them being overweight.
Your last statement doesn't seem to match up with your follow-up post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrummerBoy
No, I've never turned down an overweight woman who comes to me as a prospective client; I welcome them with open arms and applaud their courage and motivation. And there's also an unwritten code in most health clubs: never disparage or judge someone who's overweight or in lousy shape but is working out, trying to better themselves. This rule applies to not just trainers but to members as well. I currently have four clients who could be termed as overweight women.
But the OP was referring to the attitudes of overweight women with attitudes, and that is a different type of person than our members and clients. Indeed, the women the Op referred to would most likely deem it an act of capitulation to male-sexist stereotyping to join a health club. Anyone who works out will tell you that, while it is a confidence-giving practice, it is also usually humbling as well. That is the great paradox.
On our "Wall of Fame' which depicts memebers who have improved themselves the most, I currently have three former clients: all women.
I hope this answers your question. Thanks for the interest!
Shame that as a personal trainer you can't see beyond the weight and their defense mechanisms. Humbling indeed.
my citing were pretty common and in wide usage. which one is troubling you. my citings that americans are fat?
you feel that is a wild accusation?
I'm not arguing your generalization of "americans being fat".
I'm arguing your generalization of "gay people being more responsible for their health and appearance." You claimed you had stats to back up your generalization. Please cite your source(s) for stats.
I think it's interesting when then "duh, just work out and eat right" criticisms come from guys. Men and women have different metabolisms and gain, lose, and carry extra weight differently, so what works for a guy may not work for a woman. I've known men who decide to give up pop or beer and start taking the steps at work, and they lose 15 pounds just like that, and can't understand why a woman who goes to the gym and has a restrictive diet is struggling to lose five pounds.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 01-03-2010 at 10:07 AM..
Nowadays, or so it seems, a woman who can't hide behind a slender palm tree is considered overweight. And most of the women hoisted forth as beautiful these days are little more than bags of bones. These days, even Mary Tyler Moore in her years as Laura Petrie on the classic Dick Van Dyke Show would be considered fat. Women who were once thought of as classic beauties would be considered obese today.
So who are we to say?
Andy Warhol once said he'd never met a woman he couldn't consider a beauty for at least one reason. I think he was onto something there.
Hi WhistlerMCMLV,
Certainly but I place that blame squarely upon women. Sorry girls, but its true. Who do I see flocking to fashion shows and they watch stick models with no complaints walking on the runway? The "you go girl" culture has a good bit of narcissistic influence where the standard of beauty for women is determined by women. Add the homosexuals that run the fashion industry and its all tall, slender bony women with no hips or breasts because they all agree on one thing. They like boys. It seems I have to regularly point this out. Mary Tyler Moore was not even close to being obese by today's standards BTW and is a gross exaggeration.
If only we could have women look like this almost everyone would be happy including many women looking in the mirror. The only ones who will not be happy are heterosexual men which is practically a sub culture.
This appears to be the goal of tha fashion industry.
The average hetero sexual man wants this kind of woman who no doubt has a thin waist but has fleshy hips and thighs with amble low heart stress fat storage. Where is the 50k calories it takes to make a person going to come from when a woman is sexually advertising?
Of course the average 5' 4" 160lb woman loves to hide behind the smoke screen that they cannot be a size 2 or a stick. The real standard is a size 6-8 at the thin framed low end going up to 12-14 with larger framed and more muscular women. That is the "standard". How many times do we see men comment they don't like thin starving women? There seems to be room full of people talking but no one is listening. Men also don't like the product of sitting in a cube all day with pastries in the break room. Lazy atrophy and gluttony is punished as harshly as neurosis and narcissism. So if a woman wants to complain that she cannot be a certain size to heterosexual men then complain bitterly that size 8-10 is not attainable.
One thing women never dreamed of was how much easier it was to live up to the patriarchal image of beauty and now find living under the androgynous image of beauty intolerable under the aggressive lesbian-esque leaders of feminism. As hard as being the perfect women may have been, how much harder is it to be the perfect boy? When women pine for the past image of curvy woman they are reminiscing about our patriarchal past.
I think it's interesting when then "duh, just work out and eat right" criticisms come from guys. Men and women have different metabolisms and gain, lose, and carry extra weight differently, so what works for a guy may not work for a woman. I've know men who decide to give up pop or beer and start taking the steps at work, and they lose 15 pounds just like that, and can't understand why a woman who goes to the gym and has a restrictive diet can't do the same.
I lose and gain weight as often as one can imagine. I have no problem losing weight, and when I feel like I've gained too much, I quit my ridiculous eating habits, start going to the gym more often, go back to playing football with me mates and generally eat right, and then in no time I'm back in shape fit as ever. A lot of men I know are like that as well.
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