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I am a guy (and a very introverted one at that) and when my girlfriend does stuff like this it nearly makes me scream.
If you want to tell him something then just tell him. I know personally, I don't ever tell anyone about my day and I don't ask people about theirs. I am not the most talkative person...That isn't something people can control. If you want someone who will ask you about stuff like that maybe you should date a more extroverted person!
Exactly. If I feel excited about something and feel my girlfriend need to know, I will tell her as soon as I can. I'm not gonna wait around for her to ask me
I'm not the most talkative person either. I can easily sum up my day in less than 90 seconds. I think it was Dave Chappelle who said when men tell you a story it's quite simple - who, what, where, when and why. When women tell you a story, all sorts of emotions and feelings and utterly trivial things are included and it take absolutely ages. He went on to talk about the difference between men and men. I'll see if I can find it.
I can see why you are upset. I too, would have "hoped" that my SO would ask about something that was soooooo important, something that had been bothering me for months.
That said, like the other posters stated, men and women are wired differently. For a guy, if you had something REALLY impt to say, you simply state it right away. No beating around the bush, no hoping to be asked, no long saga/drama attached....
I think I would just state to him later (once you've cooled down) that when there are certain events that are impt to you, you get disappointed when you feel like they aren't acknowledged. Be careful about saying things like, "You don't...., You never...." Just turn it around about how YOU feel, about how YOU need to get YOUR needs met in this relationship. Then it won't sound like you are attacking HIM, but that you're trying to improve how the two of you interact.
Now, if I can just remember to use that advice on myself, lol......
I find more men prefer to leave work at work and only talk about something really funny that happened, or something really bad that happened, or something that made some sort of impact on them, not something small like a co-workers son just stuck his finger up his nose and discovered his first booger.
Could he have asked what happened? Sure he could have. I'm not sure if you two are living together. If you are, then that definitely should have made more of an impact on him. By the way, men can see things and some of us know our women well. My wife was nearing the end of her probation and she was freaking out that they wouldn't keep her because they weren't saying anything to her. I know her, I know how she works, I know how she takes her job seriously and works hard. So I KNEW they would keep her. She was upset that I didn't seem concerned and even after telling her I knew they would keep her and why, she still was upset with me. They wound up keeping her (they were just late on getting back to her due to paperwork) and she forgot all about me not appearing concerned.
But as to talking to him about it, rather than putting it in a whole conversation like this:
Him: Um
You: What I was saying was blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahI'm getting my review tomorrowblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahbl ahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahv
start with the important stuff first.
Some people are good at remembering things, some are not. You have to adjust to how they retain things. I know if my wife tells me a full hour of blahs and then inserts something in at the end that is important, I have a very good chance of forgetting it as I'm trying to juggle her blah blahs and my work at the same time.
It was terribly important. I was so stressed about not having a job.
And I could understand if he was busy with stuff. School is out. He has no homework and works 10 or so hours a month. Sorry but I dont see how he forgot.
I was so happy about it and I am just feeling so upset right now
Okay. I gotta ask... how old are the two of you?
What do you do for work? And is this something on your career track? And after he graduates, what does your boyfriend want to do for work?
Otherwise, maybe he never thought that your job was ever in jeopardy. Many guys don't take the stressed out rants of the women around them that seriously. They think that women are overly emotional and full of drama.
And your boyfriend didn't and couldn't get that concerned over your work review as men are problem solvers by nature, so there was never anything he could do to fix the situation. Learn to turn to your man for actually fixing problems, but if you need emotional support, look to the women in your life.
See... right now you should be very happy with the outcome of your work review, but YOU'VE chosen to become unhappy about your boyfriend's lack of concern over it.
I can see why you are upset. I too, would have "hoped" that my SO would ask about something that was soooooo important, something that had been bothering me for months.
A lot of times if someone doesn't come out with "THEY KEPT ME" or "I GOT THE PROMOTION" right away, we assume it may not be good news, therefore we wait for you to tell us.
My husband is a VERY forgetful person lol! I used to let it irritate me but not anymore, when it did upset me it was b/c when he forgot something important to me it made me feel like he was forgetting about me and my feelings which now I realize is a little nutty.....he is forgetful this is what he does, now we both laugh about it. Now I like to ask him "are you forgetting something.." most of the time he will remember but if not we just laugh it off.
My husband is a VERY forgetful person lol! I used to let it irritate me but not anymore, when it did upset me it was b/c when he forgot something important to me it made me feel like he was forgetting about me and my feelings which now I realize is a little nutty.....he is forgetful this is what he does, now we both laugh about it. Now I like to ask him "are you forgetting something.." most of the time he will remember but if not we just laugh it off.
And there are role reversals where I (as the husband) can remember exactly where we met for our first date, what she wore, where we sat and also can remember where we had our first kiss, where we ate and what she wore. She on the other hand has to think hard to remember some details. I don't hold it against her, we just laugh it off.
Wow, you've been hit with 3 sides to this "problem" and very little consensus except "men and women are different" - well, yah, but that doesn't solve the issue - it only excuses behavior we don't particular care for.
So, although you COULD have opened with your good news, you didn't. If it had been bad news, would you have? Does he know you well enough to know which you would have done? Or was this a test designed for him to fail? I can only tell you how it would be here: My husband is extremely perceptive. When I have tried to keep minor issues from him, he senses and asks me. If I am not ready to discuss it with him, I need to tell him that and to tell him that it isn't a critical issue. When he is upset, I know to leave him alone; he will tell me when he is ready.
The point I'm trying to make is that each of us has our style - some of us want to be asked, others prefer to bring it up in their own time, and still others don't want to discuss it at all. Unless he knows that you want him to bring it up (good news or bad), then he may be responding to you the way HE wants you to treat him. So if you want him to remember and ask you about these things, tell him directly and clearly. THEN, if he doesn't, you can be pissed at him. If he needs you to simply tell him your news without him putting himself out to even remember, then there is one issue you two will probably never resolve and you will have to decide whether you can live with that.
And there are role reversals where I (as the husband) can remember exactly where we met for our first date, what she wore, where we sat and also can remember where we had our first kiss, where we ate and what she wore. She on the other hand has to think hard to remember some details. I don't hold it against her, we just laugh it off.
Exactly! My husband accuses me of using his forgetfulness to get my way like I will say don't you remember baby you said you would take me to that chick flick...... He will say I know I wouldn't say something like that you evil little woman!
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