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or will those past feelings creep up eventually? wonder what you all think
Depends on the individuals involved.
I'm good friends with a couple ex-boyfriends. Both are married now and I'm happy for both of them. We stay in touch, talk on the phone (once in a blue moon) and even have lunch if we're in the others city. It's no big deal for me. I moved on from them a long time ago.
If the feelings between you were very intense, even if the break-up was mutual, it will take a long longer to just think of that person as a friend, and it may not be possible in all cases.
it is possible, but there are many factors have to click for that to happen.
First situation, it depends if the 2 people were only silently attracted and kept themselves off each other.
Normally after a while, this attraction dies down, and the 2 people behave as they would with their other acquaintances. So friendship is definitely possible.
Second situation - 2 people have an affair or a love relationship and then break up.
Now this one is trickier and it is not easy to get over it.
And the man and the woman won't react in the same way.
If the man is successful with ladies, then he will view his exgf as simply one gf. He may still care for her but won't be too affected by the breakup, especially if many months have passed by.
So he will be friendly.
On the other hand, if the man has problems finding another girlfriend or if he only gets girls who he views of inferior quality to his past gf, then he will have trouble letting go. Everytime, he sees his exgf, he will get the blues and memories flood back. He may get angry when he sees her with another man. So that case, it will be difficult for him to be friends with her. He may act as if he is a friend with her, but deep down, he wants more.
From the woman's perspective, it is different.
Women generally like to have friends. The woman who has broken with his bf will generally have some feelings for his bf, but not in an intimate way. So, it's easier for a woman to become friends with an exbf.
The exception is the bf had always made her feel special, and consciously or unconsciously made her addicted to him, without him controlling the situation. If he had presented himself as the man of her dreams, let her think that he would always be there for her and then disappear.
Then the woman would have trouble letting go, since it would not be easy for her to find another such man. Everytime, she would see him, she would think of when they used to cuddle together, his smile, etc. , and many time this feeling would be be unbearable and she would just run away, unable to be in his presence. The emotions are too overwhelming.
So there again, friendship very hard for her. But for women, it easier to let go even in such a situation if she sees that he is happy with another woman. For a reason peculiar to women, they have tendency to let go. And sincerely hope thebest for the exbf.
Unless they view the other woman as the cause of the breakup, in which case they would want to exact revenge on her and get the bf back.
For 2 people to really become friends after being romantically involved takes many things to go right.
or will those past feelings creep up eventually? wonder what you all think
It depends upon the individuals, and how resolute they are about staying only pals.
But remember this:
A simple spark, can sometimes produce an out of control flame!
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