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Believe it or not, it is possible to get along with and work with on a daily basis someone you don't like. We do it all the time in our jobs. Why can't we do it for our kids with someone we used to love?
Thats different the relationship is far deeper, therefore the issues in the relationship can often be far deeper. Not sure how you can compare the two in that way. Living / raising kids with someone is far different than working with someone.
This was my first thought! How awful of a situation for them to be in .
I'm a child of a twice divorced mother. Luckily I don't really remember her divorce from my father, but I definitely remember the one from my step-dad... No child needs to see their parents fighting and treating each other so badly.
It's sad, so many children get cast-aside while their parents only think of themselves. Personally, if your friends cared anything about their children, they'd deal with the inconveniences of bad housing, having to tell everyone, etc. for the well-being of their children.
I'm sure in some cases that can work. But certainly don't cast a blanket over all cases based on that. For some it will for some it won't.
If the parents can still create a positive environment eg. little fighting, arguing.....then sure.
If you once loved each other and got along well enough to make babies, why is it unreasonable to expect you to get along to raise them in the best manner posssible, which, according to research is a two parent houshold?
There is no reason you can't get along for the sake of the kids. After all, we are talking about adults here.
Thats different the relationship is far deeper, therefore the issues in the relationship can often be far deeper. Not sure how you can compare the two in that way. Living / raising kids with someone is far different than working with someone.
Yes, and the pay, if you will, also goes deeper. If we can get along at work for money why can't we get along at home for our kids when we're talking about getting along with their other parent. Someone we once loved and cared enough about to make babies with them. Yes, it's deeper and there's a lot more on the line too which makes it worth the costs and then some.
This was my first thought! How awful of a situation for them to be in .
I'm a child of a twice divorced mother. Luckily I don't really remember her divorce from my father, but I definitely remember the one from my step-dad... No child needs to see their parents fighting and treating each other so badly.
It's sad, so many children get cast-aside while their parents only think of themselves. Personally, if your friends cared anything about their children, they'd deal with the inconveniences of bad housing, having to tell everyone, etc. for the well-being of their children.
No, if they cared about their kids, they'd stop fighting and raise them. Research shows that divorce is bad for kids and that living in a two parent household good for kids. Divorce is just selfish.
It is not unreasonsable to expect people who once liked each other enough to make babies together to get along for the sake of those babies. It is, absolutely, selfish to subject kids to living with feuding parents or put them through a divorce because the parents can't behave like adults. Divorce is not the answer. Second and third marriages have even higher failure rates than first marriages so the kids often, just go from one bad situation to another and then get put through another divorce. People who solve their problems by walking away from them don't make good marriage partners or good parents.
At least parents who stay together for the kids actually put their kids first.
Well, I am in this situation. I do not want a divorce, but she will not work on the relationship. I am miserable. She is miserable (but that is her default state of mind). The kids are not miserable yet, but they know what is going on. Financially we cannot afford to break up. I am very worried that a divorce would cause me to lose contact with my kids. And they are, really, all I have at this point. It's an intractable situation.
Well, I am in this situation. I do not want a divorce, but she will not work on the relationship. I am miserable. She is miserable (but that is her default state of mind). The kids are not miserable yet, but they know what is going on. Financially we cannot afford to break up. I am very worried that a divorce would cause me to lose contact with my kids. And they are, really, all I have at this point. It's an intractable situation.
Can I make a suggestion? Take up hobbies you can do with your kids to take your mind off of your relationship issues. You can't make her work on the relationship so be the best dad you can be.
A friend of mine told me that he and his wife just plain hate each other, and just do not talk. They only say things to each other if it relates to the household or children. They make every effort to avoid each other as much as possible. It has got so bad that they just hate being in the same room as each other.
Can you relate?
No, but I can sympathize. Marriage is so over rated now days. 50% end in divorce and 30 of the other 50 come to this. This means that the country needs tens of millions of extra bedrooms. Just think of the effect on global warming alone.....
No, but I can sympathize. Marriage is so over rated now days. 50% end in divorce and 30 of the other 50 come to this. This means that the country needs tens of millions of extra bedrooms. Just think of the effect on global warming alone.....
Yeah, sleeping in the same room allows you to share body heat
Okay, why does it upset people if married couples don't sleep together? My mom and step dad didn't. I remember mom sleeping on the couch. She said it was because dad snored. We never questioned that. Now, I wonder how well she and dad got along but it doesn't matter. They did right by us kids.
Man, we know a couple like that. They despise each other, yet have stayed married so their daughter grows up in a two-person household. As if she couldn't figure out what was going on.
Personally, we're counting down the days to late May, 2017, when our last child graduates high school. Then we can run off and be irresponsible for awhile.
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