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Update, he said no to the move in. He has been very attentive since the response. (not sure what to make of that) I am disappointed. It is not hard to find an apartment that allows pets, I have one now. I have too much stuff, I would have to get a storage unit unless I gave some of it away. Probably better to give it away rather than pay for storage don't need to worry about this right now, I guess.
Then... my addtional advice is to slowly start to thin out your possessions. If you say that you have too much stuff, then I suspect that your boyfriend feels the same way. Don't ask him what he thinks of your stuff, just start making it go away in a manner that is comfortable to you.
Again, don't make big changes about yourself in order to win your boyfriend's approval. But do look at your life and see what you can do to make yourself happier. I don't think that having your boyfriend wanting to live together with you is the answer to making you feel happy and complete. He is not your missing half that will complete your life. You really need to find that personal happiness all on your own.
My boyfriend and i are together everyday. I go to his house as he has children. Recently he started to let me move in , but then a circumstance came up that I feel he used as an excuse to change his mind. we have been together less than a year, but longer than some of his friends who live with thier SO. I am really hurt becasue I want to be with him but he seems not to want to commit to me. Says he's good how things are. After we decided this (he decieded this), he was overly affectionate with me. At first, I thought that was a good sign but have become so pessimistic in our situation that I thought maybe he meant something else by it. Said I love you a lot, I always joke that that is simply a man saying he loves having se*x with you. He said he sometimes wants me to live with him and sometimes not. he talks to his ex girlfriend and I feel that if she were single, he'd prefer to be with her. I am just so hurt becasue I gave it my all, acted like a wife , and he didn't appreciate it enough to simply move me in. Makes financial sense, too, but he doesn't want my help in that way. He seems to be pulling away. Said he will never chase a woman. I do want to be with him and am not one to play games. I am at a loss where to go with this and as to why this happened. Am I just being impatient becasue he is unsure and I should be unselfish and give him time or should I be hurt that our peers commit like this so easily and he is reluctant? I am hurt regardless. Just don't know if there is some magic thing I can do.
Based on what I bolded above, I think your BF is getting cold feet about further committing to you. Ask him a direct question about "where are we going in this relationship?" and that should give you the answer on whether you should stay or go.
Based on what I bolded above, I think your BF is getting cold feet about further committing to you. Ask him a direct question about "where are we going in this relationship?" and that should give you the answer on whether you should stay or go.
I did ask him and he tries to avoid the question. Then he gets mad that we had to talk. So now Im not even getting the extra affection. He said he might marry me a couple years from now. I don't feel that's an answer. The world might end a couple years from now. Am I being too hard on him? And if he is getting cold feet, how can I warm them back up again?
You shouldn't be patient. You should take it for what it is, decide whether you can deal with it, and make a choice. You are not your peers. Your relationship is not your peers'. You never will be.
You have been having issues in this relationship forever. He's told you that you smother him. Take a hint - seriously. Do you really think he wants to move in with someone who suffocates him living separately??
You have been having issues in this relationship forever. He's told you that you smother him. Take a hint - seriously. Do you really think he wants to move in with someone who suffocates him living separately??
ok, so would a good plan to be not smothering him and then maybe he will want to move in?
I did ask him and he tries to avoid the question. Then he gets mad that we had to talk. So now Im not even getting the extra affection. He said he might marry me a couple years from now. I don't feel that's an answer. The world might end a couple years from now. Am I being too hard on him? And if he is getting cold feet, how can I warm them back up again?
WOW is that why your so worried about where you guys are going? I mean lets face it if the world ends in 2012 then being married or living together isnt going to matter bc we'll all be gonners.
How long have you 2 been together?
My thoughts are if a man can tell you he loves you enough to marry you in a couple years then he should be able to go to the courthouse and make it official today. If you love someone that much then why wait (unless of course your not of age, or your looking for some grand wedding, etc). Also if ya'll have only been together for a short amount of time then you shouldn't be demading these things from him and he should NOT be telling you he'll marry you in a couple years because you each need some time to be together to learn more about each other. If you 2 aren't living together then why press marriage? I mean I personally think you should live together before marriage, you really learn a lot from one another then.
If your upset bc other people you know are taking the next steps in their relationships and you arent then you just need to stop. Be happy for your friends, onviously they have a more stable relationship and are prepared to take the next step. If your SO is not ready to take the next step then dont force it, you'll regret it. If he's not giving you the things you want in life then move on. Chalk it up as a learning experience and leave.
Good luck to you!
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am i impatient or am i right to be hurt
