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Your S.O. owns a home, condo, whatever, and you move in. They say its "our place" but it feels like its their place. Anyone ever experience this? If so, did that feeling ever go away? How did it work out?
Yes, I owned the house and lived in it alone for 10 years before he moved in and it did cause some friction as the house isn't that big - especially not big enough for 2 sets of everything. I did my best to compromise on some artwork(which we flipped quarters over) and furniture and made a great effort to provide him with his own space - we ended up redoing the basement into another level of the house because of it. I wasn't extremely skeptical of him paying for it though and didn't want him to because the relationship was so new and I didn't want him to invest in things in the house he didn't own.
I had spent considerable time and money on the properly sized furniture in this house because it was small and I needed it to appear bigger and his furniture was oversized and huge.
I moved into my boyfriend's apartment after we got married. He already had all kinds of atrocious bachelor furniture AND a roommate, but all three of us were poor. You just have to live with what gets handed down to you, pretty much.
My husband mostly defers to me to decorate the house now, but I know what his tastes are and don't choose things I know he'll hate.
One of my uncles never married and jokes that he can't get a wife because there won't be anywhere to put her stuff.
My husband had build a new home a few years before we met--eventually it became to feel like "home" but I still had that nervous feeling every time I spilled a drink or whatever. We are now building a new home and I am on the title of everything--also we picked everything out together--now it really feels like 'our' home.
Your S.O. owns a home, condo, whatever, and you move in. They say its "our place" but it feels like its their place. Anyone ever experience this? If so, did that feeling ever go away? How did it work out?
When I married my ex, it was his house that I moved into (I owned a townhouse and rented it out). It never ever felt like "our house" because he was such a @ss about what I was "allowed" to do in it. He's a control freak. Others may not have that experience.
My ex owned his house before we were married. We did a bunch of remodeling right before the wedding, but I never felt at home there. Well, it didn't help that he would rub it in my face during every argument with things like, "This is MY house. I could kick you out now, and you would be homeless". He kept it after the divorce, and he still lives there (alone) 10 years later.
With my current SO, I had my own place and he moved in. He never was that happy there, and I totally understood the feeling. We moved as soon as we were able, and I even let him do all the decorating.
Yes there was/is a huge power struggle even tho we both own the house. He had his entire house decorated by a interior designer so everything goes together just so and was very expensive.
Then here comes me with all my Mid-Century Modern decor from the 50s that I'm very attached to. It's still mostly his stuff except for a spare bathroom, extra bedroom, and my collectible bowls in the kitchen. *sigh*
Yes there was/is a huge power struggle even tho we both own the house. He had his entire house decorated by a interior designer so everything goes together just so and was very expensive.
Then here comes me with all my Mid-Century Modern decor from the 50s that I'm very attached to. It's still mostly his stuff except for a spare bathroom, extra bedroom, and my collectible bowls in the kitchen. *sigh*
Most of my stuff is in storage.
Why don't you just bring some more of your stuff in? It shouldn't be relegated to spare rooms, you should be able to enjoy your decor as well. Mid century design is cool.
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