Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
and need the assistance of a man or do you find it annoying would you rather her be uber independent?
If a woman is TRULY helpless and genuinely needs help, I have no problems being the knight in shining armor.
However, perennially needy women who have the problem-solving skills of a 9-year-old and who are whiny are something I have no room for in my life neither the patience to deal with.
I like it sometimes when they are just trying to be cute. But if we're in a serious situation or around friends, I would expect for her to attempt to get it done herself.
I'm not kidding I tried every trick in the book! Hot water, butterknife, banging it on the counter, etc. This was like the ultimate jar lol. One of my gf's just gave me this rubber circle thing to open jars she says its amazing lol.
And I'm not helpless, haha, I am very capable of doing everything on my own. I got the jar open after 30 mins of working on it haha. What I was saying is that it would've been great to say "babe could you open this for me?" And I would've gotten 29mins and 30secs of my life back lol.
I like the old gentlemen ways: holding doors, pulling a chair out, giving flowers, standing in a women's presence and seating after she does,holding her hand.
Lots of women like that stuff; unfortunately, lots of the same women who like it are perfectly willing to denigrate with the very next exhalation after "thanks," assuming they say it at all.
For years I was aggravated and about to give up holding doors at all because I was sick of women who couldn't be bothered with a simple "thanks", not even when a whole crowd of them would pass through a door. Perhaps for every tenth or fifteenth woman I'd get a thank you.
Then one day I thought "You know, there may be only a very few women with the courtesy to say thank you, but they deserve the gestures of chivalry. As for the rest, well, if I let them tear me down so that I stop then in a way the terrorists have already won, so to speak.
A couple of years ago I was struggling with a bunch of bags in a mall during holiday shopping. As I struggled my way through a door and allowed it to close behind me I heard a loud huff.
Glancing back I saw a woman pull the door open and step through, glaring at me. "Sorry," I said, shrugging to indicate that I had been preoccupied with my baggage.
Rather than let it go she said "I can see chivalry is dead. A gentleman holds the door for a lady."
It really rubbed me the wrong way and I snapped "If one happens by I'll be sure to hold the door for her."
I mean seriously?!?!?
I've been in other parts of the country where women seem determined to shove independence down your throat at the drop of a hat and I've been in places where simply holding a door earned a beatific smile and a beaming, cheerful "Thank you very much!"
I suspect some of it is simply regional but I definitely know which one I prefer!
Lots of women like that stuff; unfortunately, lots of the same women who like it are perfectly willing to denigrate with the very next exhalation after "thanks," assuming they say it at all.
For years I was aggravated and about to give up holding doors at all because I was sick of women who couldn't be bothered with a simple "thanks", not even when a whole crowd of them would pass through a door. Perhaps for every tenth or fifteenth woman I'd get a thank you.
I've noticed this as well, though I still try to open doors for women. Most of the time I'm only in the position to keep the door open after I've already walked through, which I also do for men when one is behind me. The men say "thanks" 99% of the time, women say it maybe 30-50% of the time. But I've also had both sexes do the same for me, so I'll continue doing it.
Personally, I don't like any "acting." If a lady truly does not know how to do something or needs assistance in doing so, that's perfectly fine. But, as an act, it's patronizing behavior, IMO, that perpetuates negative stereotypes.
__________________
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
