For the hard core accept me as I am people

[Lost&Found]

I think the drinking issue needs to be sorted out quite some time before two people agree to define themselves as in a 'relationship'. Accordingly, the pre-relationship logic works as follows: One person doesn't drink and won't tolerate a partner who consumes alcohol therefore they are unable to have a relationship with someone who drinks. The End.

By the way, I always thought that quirks were minor things like leaving the toothpaste cap off or forgetting to hang wet towels up after you've had a shower. An incompatibility issue regarding alcohol consumption is more like a serious deal-breaker.

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by Lost&Found

An incompatibility issue regarding alcohol consumption is more like a serious deal-breaker.

This is ridiculous! So my having a beer or a glass of wine with dinner, let's say, is a deal-breaker?! What if he likes to have a bag of chips? Is that a deal-breaker, too? Maybe I should demand he stops eating chips, or better yet, just drop him because of that?!

[stan4]

Originally Posted by miu

I disagree. We have several friends that are recovered alcoholics. One of them still has a problem with smelling it, and even feels uncomfortable looking at liquor advertising signs. Another friend doesn't have any problems with people drinking around him, but just don't try to split the restaurant tab equally with him if there's alcohol on it.

Otherwise, personally I'm very laid back about drinking. I will drink once in a while for fun, but I can also go for months and never touch a drop. I will forget that I have beer in the fridge. I have bottles of wine that were given to me as gifts and I've never gotten around to enjoying them. So for me, I would have no problems giving up drinking in front of anyone dear to me that was uncomfortable around alcohol.

Maybe with this wife, just the smell of the liquor gives her back flashbacks. Perhaps some professional therapy is needed for her PTSD. Just last year, my boyfriend's youngest sister started therapy for PTSD due to the torment she (and the rest of the family) suffered with their abusive alcoholic father.

What exactly are you disagreeing about?
You even said that this person needs professional therapy for her PTSD.

I have friends who have had problems with alcohol and bad experiences with alcohol in the past. It's funny that not one of them has asked us to curtail our appropriate and moderate consumption in front of them. Nor do they seem uncomfortable or avoid social situations.

I don't think any of us would have a problem trying to accommodate the discomfort of others, especially for those with an emotionally traumatic past. We are sensitive creatures. However, demanding or 'deal-breaking' because they can't get past their hang-up is ridiculous.