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"I started this topic so women could have a say about how they feel about these things..."
"I take it you have no children yourself, or you're a teen/troll"
"It appears that you have made a ton of assumptions about single mothers and how they got that way. You have a very narrow-minded and downright absurd perspective on the subject of this thread. "Get yourself pregnant" = stupid? Casting stones much, ACG?"
I am a woman and I was having my say on the subject. No I am not a teen or a troll. I am not intentionally posting derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages about this sensitive topic. I am posting the truth.
I came from a loving family who taught me to take responsibility for my actions. I have been a psychiatic nurse for almost 30 years. I was not making assumptions about how women get pregnant. It is not something that just happens. There are causes and effects/consequences for every action. Many men and women have a hard time understanding this and refuse to accept responsibility for their own behavior, their own lack of control. They then focus on the unacceptable behavior of others. I've had plenty of opportunity to get myself pregnant if it was my wish. At a very early I was quite foolish but fortunatly someone communicated to me the very thing that I had hoped to communicate to one who might need to hear it on this thread. I did not mean to attack anyone! I did not realize that this thread was a whine session and will not disturb any of you again. Go right ahead .....whine, whine, whine......
"I started this topic so women could have a say about how they feel about these things..."
"I take it you have no children yourself, or you're a teen/troll"
"It appears that you have made a ton of assumptions about single mothers and how they got that way. You have a very narrow-minded and downright absurd perspective on the subject of this thread. "Get yourself pregnant" = stupid? Casting stones much, ACG?"
I am a woman and I was having my say on the subject. No I am not a teen or a troll. I am not intentionally posting derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages about this sensitive topic. I am posting the truth.
I came from a loving family who taught me to take responsibility for my actions. I have been a psychiatic nurse for almost 30 years. I was not making assumptions about how women get pregnant. It is not something that just happens. There are causes and effects/consequences for every action. Many men and women have a hard time understanding this and refuse to accept responsibility for their own behavior, their own lack of control. They then focus on the unacceptable behavior of others. I've had plenty of opportunity to get myself pregnant if it was my wish. At a very early I was quite foolish but fortunatly someone communicated to me the very thing that I had hoped to communicate to one who might need to hear it on this thread. I did not mean to attack anyone! I did not realize that this thread was a whine session and will not disturb any of you again. Go right ahead .....whine, whine, whine......
Your pretty arrogant...in my opinion...
AND while in nursing someone should have told you, women can't get themselves pregnant...it takes a man to help with that.
All the wrongs in the world don't make a right. Truth is, if you are sexually active with someone, you are responsible for any children you produce. Even if she was on the pill and you used a condom. Don't play if you can't afford to pay!
It's not fair to anyone involved. The child has to grow up knowing he/she wasn't wanted by one or both of the parents. Assuming the woman raises the child, she loses all claim over her own life. The man retains his freedom but has to surrender a large part of his earnings to the woman. I don't see many happy endings here. Lots of bitter unhappy people.
I wouldn't knowingly date anyone who didn't pay their child support. And I certainly wouldn't want to marry anyone in that circumstance. At least partly because I wouldn't want to be responsible for their kids!
"I started this topic so women could have a say about how they feel about these things..."
"I take it you have no children yourself, or you're a teen/troll"
"It appears that you have made a ton of assumptions about single mothers and how they got that way. You have a very narrow-minded and downright absurd perspective on the subject of this thread. "Get yourself pregnant" = stupid? Casting stones much, ACG?"
I am a woman and I was having my say on the subject. No I am not a teen or a troll. I am not intentionally posting derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages about this sensitive topic. I am posting the truth.
I came from a loving family who taught me to take responsibility for my actions. I have been a psychiatic nurse for almost 30 years. I was not making assumptions about how women get pregnant. It is not something that just happens. There are causes and effects/consequences for every action. Many men and women have a hard time understanding this and refuse to accept responsibility for their own behavior, their own lack of control. They then focus on the unacceptable behavior of others. I've had plenty of opportunity to get myself pregnant if it was my wish. At a very early I was quite foolish but fortunatly someone communicated to me the very thing that I had hoped to communicate to one who might need to hear it on this thread. I did not mean to attack anyone! I did not realize that this thread was a whine session and will not disturb any of you again. Go right ahead .....whine, whine, whine......
Actually, you were posting YOUR truth, not THE truth. Do the words "It tickles me, it makes me laugh" or "are stupid enough to sleep around, get pregnant, and then criticize the man they chose" and "stupid enough to get pregnant and then make myself a bigger fool by complaining" not seem derogatory or otherwise inflammatory messages to you? Oh I get it, they weren't 'intentional'. So they were an accident, sort of like those "unwanted pregnancies".
So it looks like you're not really a "girl" but more of a "matron" based on your nearly 30 years of working as a nurse. I am guessing you might have some negative emotions invested in this subject since you probably can't choose to have children now if you wanted to, and perhaps even harbor a little good old fashioned resentment against those who didn't take your approach to this subject? Could the reference to something you were told at an early age when you were "quite foolish" have been the gem about keeping your panties on? I'm sorry if you have a past with loose morals and sleeping around, but don't project that onto people who are single parents. The two do not go hand in hand.
If you really feel that you were simply having your say on the subject in that post full of assumptions about single parenthood, then you should really invest some time in self reflection. You stated how you laugh at the "stupid" women who make certain choices that conflict with your own beliefs. What's funny is that some of those women are likely laughing at you for being "past your prime" with shriveled up ovaries and no offspring to delight in. See, that sword can cut both ways.
I take great exception to the VERY words you point out...
I have NEVER slept around...there was no question who my daughters Father was...not in his mind or mine.
AND why is it stupid to get pregnant...I for one wouldn't change a thing...maybe she feels it would be stupid for her to get pregnant and she is assuming the same of all of us...
I also didn't start out a single parent, my daughters Father MADE me a single parent...that is ALL on him...not me. Believe me if I could have had some help, I would have prefered that.
How nice to speak badly about women who are single parents when they had no choice in the matter...
All the wrongs in the world don't make a right. Truth is, if you are sexually active with someone, you are responsible for any children you produce. Even if she was on the pill and you used a condom. Don't play if you can't afford to pay!
It's not fair to anyone involved. The child has to grow up knowing he/she wasn't wanted by one or both of the parents. Assuming the woman raises the child, she loses all claim over her own life. The man retains his freedom but has to surrender a large part of his earnings to the woman. I don't see many happy endings here. Lots of bitter unhappy people.
I wouldn't knowingly date anyone who didn't pay their child support. And I certainly wouldn't want to marry anyone in that circumstance. At least partly because I wouldn't want to be responsible for their kids!
I had not intended to post here again but after reading yellowsnows post I felt the urge to do so. Thank you yellowsnow!!!! You said exactly what I was trying to but more elequently. Maybe some will hear you!
let me just break this down for you.... woman to woman...NO i would not date a man that does not support his child... i am a single mom also..been doing this alone forever...i have four teens and trust i hold it down,,, no half stepping allowed...my oldest son dad lives in the same town as me...he visits him twice out of a year...passes my house each day...dont come and visit his son...the first seven years of his life , the father was not there for him period and he is not now the he should be...so i no how you feel....but women like us gotta be strong...father or not...our kids need us and trust me..just like you, i dont date men who dont support their kids...good luck.. dont worry...and always pray cause as a single parent we have to...take care
I feel u on this one. I am a single parent too. I went after child support long and hard and got it. He pays, but he does not see his kids. If I know a man has kids and he is not taking care of his responsibility we have nothing to talk about at all. We cannot even just be friends. I have 0 tolerarnce for dead-beats.
Man, do I hear ya. That pressure to pay every single week, whether you have income coming in or not. It isn't fair, really. Like, I remember the daily expectation that I would feed my kid- not even just once, but three or more times a day. And it was every day 7/24/365.
And being in poor health- AMEN! Going into work when you have gastrointestial sickness because you can't afford to take the day off. Or even worse, being flat-on-your-back sick with the flu and having to tend to a toddler.
It's just not fair, man. What do they expect of us?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlipperX
Well the support payments and the pressure to pay on time every single week regardless of whats going on could end up leading me to an early death anyway so he may not have a chance to see me gray. I am not in very good health Im sorry.
So do we just keep lovin Rance more, or what?! What a post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rance
WTF? GTF outa here! I'm confused. Are you like a dude? Or a woman? Cause your talkin some s**t! Get a frickin job. Get 2 jobs. Feed your kids. Someday they will respect you for it. Chances are they will have kids of their own to feed someday. Set an example. I've fed mine for the last 19 years. And I had to sell firewood out of the back of a pickup truck at times to do it. There is no excuse. Your a lowlife...or you feed your kids. Put up or shut up, talk the talk...or walk the walk.
*I'm lookin kinda dumb...with my finger and my thumb...in the shape of an "L" on my forehead...
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I am a single parent too. I went after child support long and hard and got it. He pays, but he does not see his kids. If I know a man has kids and he is not taking care of his responsibility we have nothing to talk about at all. We cannot even just be friends. I have 0 tolerarnce for dead-beats.
