Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Certain "blood lines" need to be eliminated, for the greater good. Survival of the fittest.
I doubt the gene pool will suffer much if a misogynist fails to replicate himself.
Eh, I'd run off a number of reasons why someone like me is better off reproducing than 90% of the population, but then you'd jump all over me and say I'm bragging or something.
If 90% of the time your spouse hardly talks to you nicely, how are you supposed to cope with that? For a day or two you feel connected & things seem so nice & the romance feels great but he always finds a way to disturb the nice thing going. Just when u think ok, I think I am in love with this guy, the old cycle of yelling at you, speaking to you harshly starts. & u wonder whether this guy really loves you coz he never seems to want to understand your view on thingns but is always fault finding. & u wonder whether this guy really loves u, coz if someone loves u, cant they talk to you gently? I'm confused, been married 11 years now & like post has indicated, I started evaluating my marriage to see if I really want to go thru this cycle for another 10yrs. coz I've been holding on & thinking things will become better but then another realisation hits me, probably this is how this guy is & he may never change. I really feel like he is not my friend & I'm afraid to confind in him. Do I really want to live with someone who is ever yelling at me & hardly tender?
I feel like I'm the one who is always making and & putting an effort into our relationship, it is so draining. If I dont kiss buy in the morning or welcome in the evening then the other party wont initiate. It feels like a one-sided relationship...I'm getting worn out...
I feel like I'm the one who is always making and & putting an effort into our relationship, it is so draining. If I dont kiss buy in the morning or welcome in the evening then the other party wont initiate. It feels like a one-sided relationship...I'm getting worn out...
this is the number one sign to start moving on.
you have no reason to be in a relationship when you are the only reason it even exists
I feel like I'm the one who is always making and & putting an effort into our relationship, it is so draining. If I dont kiss buy in the morning or welcome in the evening then the other party wont initiate. It feels like a one-sided relationship...I'm getting worn out...
You only have one life.
It appears you have done all you could to make it work. It's not worth staying in a relationship where you are not happy.
I feel like I'm the one who is always making and & putting an effort into our relationship, it is so draining. If I dont kiss buy in the morning or welcome in the evening then the other party wont initiate. It feels like a one-sided relationship...I'm getting worn out...
Talk to him. I know you don't feel emotionally safe with him, but you have to try at least one more time to confide in him and point out what you are feeling.
It's amazing how surprised some people are about how others are reacting to their behavior.
They may not realize what a big deal it is until it's too late.
So you have to try at least once more in no uncertain terms to clearly spell out what's bothering you and explain your next action will be to bail if this is not addressed.
I feel like I'm the one who is always making and & putting an effort into our relationship, it is so draining. If I dont kiss buy in the morning or welcome in the evening then the other party wont initiate. It feels like a one-sided relationship...I'm getting worn out...
You need to sit him down and tell him you are not happy. I'm betting he thinks there is nothing wrong with the marriage and he'd be shocked to find out that you are not satisfied. It doesn't matter that you make comments here and there, he doesn't HEAR that. You need to sit him down and point blank say "I'm not happy" because until you do that, he won't understand.
Eh, I'd run off a number of reasons why someone like me is better off reproducing than 90% of the population, but then you'd jump all over me and say I'm bragging or something.
I would be very interested in reading that. Brag away.
Anthropologists tell us that our natural state is serial monogamy.
A series of long term committed partners that should change about every 7-10 years.
This explains the "seven year itch". It is actually part of our instinctual behaviour and the Church is the one responsible for trying to make us mate for life, by inventing marriage.
You can either fight your instincts like most people do, or give up and realise that you're human and because you're human, you change and grow. You will probably not be married to the same person in 10 years because that person has changed, just like you have.
If I had my way marriage would be a licence available to everybody and renewable yearly. People would plan better and accept change better if there was an understanding that it should not be for life.
The OP has a point that yes, in mid-life people seem to reevaluate and I, too, have seen people divorce for the reasons stated.
That being said, a renewable marriage license is simply not feasible. Can you imagine the legalities on this? Not only that, but life is full of ups and downs - a renewable marriage license would have people bail and then lament their decision.
I've been married for 14 years and those first two years were not easy. If bailing out had been easy, it is possible (particularly in my immature mind) that I would not have remained married. Nothing terrible in those first two years - I had just lived alone (and was very used to a selfish existence). I had a hard time compromising. In hindsight, we've had an amazing 14 years, full of adventures and I can honestly say I am married to my best friend/lover. We're never bored, we go out often, we have dynamic conversations. We email and text jokes all day. He is more handsome and attractive to me today than when we met.
I don't want to speak for everyone. I'm very aware that many people live years of dissatisfaction and they certainly have to do what is best for themselves. Marriages have had the same issues since the beginning of time - that's never going to change.
The OP has a point that yes, in mid-life people seem to reevaluate and I, too, have seen people divorce for the reasons stated.
That being said, a renewable marriage license is simply not feasible. Can you imagine the legalities on this? Not only that, but life is full of ups and downs - a renewable marriage license would have people bail and then lament their decision.
I've been married for 14 years and those first two years were not easy. If bailing out had been easy, it is possible (particularly in my immature mind) that I would not have remained married. Nothing terrible in those first two years - I had just lived alone (and was very used to a selfish existence). I had a hard time compromising. In hindsight, we've had an amazing 14 years, full of adventures and I can honestly say I am married to my best friend/lover. We're never bored, we go out often, we have dynamic conversations. We email and text jokes all day. He is more handsome and attractive to me today than when we met.
I don't want to speak for everyone. I'm very aware that many people live years of dissatisfaction and they certainly have to do what is best for themselves. Marriages have had the same issues since the beginning of time - that's never going to change.
Nice that you're still together.
Having a renewable licence should not alter the commitment one way or the other.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
