Living with an angry person (therapy, advice, friend, living together)

[nezlie]

Have you ever lived with someone that had anger issues? Someone that could have benefited from anger management therapy? How did that affect you and others around that person? Did their anger issues show up all of a sudden or is it something that's gone on for a long time?

[Ablees8951]

I'm a very very happy person and cant handle being around people who explode or are just generally angry. So as far as living with someone like that I couldn't and wouldn't. If I didnt notice until we moved in together I'd leave asap. Life is too short to be brought down by such people.

I suppose it would be different if I knew this person for a very long time, in that case I'd tell them they need help. But personally I wouldn't end up being close to someone like that.

[carlitasway]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Have you ever lived with someone that had anger issues? Someone that could have benefited from anger management therapy? How did that affect you and others around that person? Did their anger issues show up all of a sudden or is it something that's gone on for a long time?

Yes, I have. It was the most toxic relationship I ever had. It started as soon as we started living together. I will tell anyone to run away fast from someone like that. Don't be stupid like I was trying to keep good credit and not break the lease. Don't worry about how things will financially work out. All of it was a small price to pay in comparison for safety, sanity and happiness.

[bobman]

you have two threads now about angry/abusive partners.

Are you the victim, or is it a friend ? Or are you doing research for a thesis ?

I only ask, because advice is best given when you fully understand the situation.

Originally Posted by nezlie

Have you ever lived with someone that had anger issues? Someone that could have benefited from anger management therapy? How did that affect you and others around that person? Did their anger issues show up all of a sudden or is it something that's gone on for a long time?

[nezlie]

Originally Posted by bobman

you have two threads now about angry/abusive partners.

Are you the victim, or is it a friend ? Or are you doing research for a thesis ?

I only ask, because advice is best given when you fully understand the situation.

Fair enough bobman. I also responded to another similar type post last night (Does anyone know the psychology of a "blamer" (someone who externalizes blame)?).

That post got me thinking a little deeper this morning about the many issues that come up on these types of forums about this particular subject, and how so many people suffer from this. So my answer to your questions is no and no.

[bobman]

It's cool, it's an area which interests me too.
I have learned a lot about people, while reading up on domestic abuse.

It's often nice to hear different people's thoughts on the subject.

There's no harm in asking questions.

It can be helpful to someone who's actually IN an abusive situation to hear other people talk about it, because then reality bites.

Sometimes we don't realise we are being abused.

Until I'd left, I didn't realise it was abuse, I just thought we "fought a bit".

Originally Posted by nezlie

Fair enough bobman. I also responded to another similar type post last night (Does anyone know the psychology of a "blamer" (someone who externalizes blame)?).

That post got me thinking a little deeper this morning about the many issues that come up on these types of forums about this particular subject, and how so many people suffer from this. So my answer to your questions is no and no.

[willowtree2222]

Originally Posted by nezlie

Have you ever lived with someone that had anger issues? Someone that could have benefited from anger management therapy? How did that affect you and others around that person? Did their anger issues show up all of a sudden or is it something that's gone on for a long time?

I've dated an angry person.. he was ok at first but the more he got to be comfortable he got angry/violent out of the blue.. this went on until i finally broke up.. THANK GOD! he made me so depressed and you have the right to be happy and at peace.. it's not worth being with a person who hurts you in any way!

[samston]

I think an excessively angry person is a mentally unhealthy one.

they need psychiatric help, even if psychiatry is false.

[profgent1]

As was mentioned, living with an angry person is toxic. The outward expression of anger may be the last level of degradation, but control comes in, dismissing the other is present, projection of affect, moves to assuage eruptions, etc. It is a mind-numbing spin of discouragement w/o compensatoin. Move as fast as you can when you first notice it AWAY from the person and don't look back. Life is too short and other persons can be kinder.

[bobman]

How does one define an anger "problem" ?

What are people's opinions on when being moody, or having a short fuse crosses the line into being a problem ??